Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

How RASN’s Take Control

Galatians 1:10 For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

In his rebuke of the Galatian churches, the Apostle Paul writes that he is astonished at how quickly these Christians had fallen for a false gospel. False teachers, false brethren, had crept into the churches and introduced a gospel of grace PLUS. Merit had to be earned, they said. And the way to do it was by works of the Law – keeping certain Old Testament ceremonies and such. But the moment even a crumb of our works are added, grace is no longer grace, the gospel is no longer the gospel, and those who introduce this infection are damned by God.

How had these counterfeits taken control of the churches there? I think we see the answer here:

Gal 4:17 They make much of you, but for no good purpose. They want to shut you out, that you may make much of them.

They used flattery. They pretended to really care for these Galatians. They praised them. And this blinded the eyes of those gullible believers.

When we in Christ’s church begin to show partiality to anyone, we are opening the door to some RASN to control the church. That is what they had done – shown partiality. They were impressed with these false teachers. They failed to be consistent and obey this:

Gal 1:8-9 But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed. (9) As we have said before, so now I say again: If anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to the one you received, let him be accursed.

Most all of us, myself included, have been guilty in this regard. We have shown partiality. Instead of testing and rebuking, we accepted. Then one day the Lord mercifully revealed who the wicked ones were and we realized we had been duped. And not just duped, but complicit in these wicked ones program to exalt themselves. Complicit because we failed to do this:

1Ti 5:21 In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus and of the elect angels I charge you to keep these rules without prejudging, doing nothing from partiality.

Jas 2:1 My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory.

Why did we do it? Well, in part because the RASN is very deceptive. He is a liar like his father the devil. But we also did it perhaps because we wanted to believe the RASN was who he claimed to be, by his disguise. One time a lady who was married to a RASN asked me, “I wonder why I married him?” I assured her that she was deceived by him as we all have been by this kind. But in later years I have realized that there may well have been something in it for her – economic security, reputation, etc. If so, she was showing partiality and suppressing the truth.

I do not say these things to condemn anyone – I have been guilty of partiality to these kind too. I hope I have seen the thing clearly now so that I won’t do it again. Pushing down red warning lights that we often feel more than we see. Because we don’t want to believe our RASN is anything less than what he claims to be. Taking his side in conflicts. Covering for him when his mask slips. All these things and more are partiality, and James tells us partiality is sin –

Jas 2:9 But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors.

If we reject this sinful partiality and stand for Christ’s truth when we see someone sinning, guess what other good thing is going to happen? The mask will come off completely if we are dealing with a RASN. These kind never repent. They never admit their own sin and guilt. They lash out when confronted or when told “no.” But as long as we show partiality to them, permitting them to be what they crave to be among us, the deception will continue and they will remain in control.


They Only Go Deeper Undercover


Christ Must Come Down to Me


  1. CAM

    All the more reason to pray the Holy Spirit guides us in truth and supplies courage to live in it.

  2. Molly

    That is exactly what my “dad” did. He refused to call out his pastors abuse because, as he told me, “he is my friend.”

  3. Kate

    From this post:

    “When we in Christ’s church begin to show partiality to anyone, we are opening the door to some RASN to control the church. That is what they had done – shown partiality….{too late} we realized we had been duped. And not just duped, but complicit in these wicked ones program to exalt themselves.”

    We are actually worshiping these evil ones when we show them partiality and refuse to acknowledge that they love being wicked. (Isaiah 66:3 “They have chosen their own ways, and they delight in their abominations”)

    I recently read a review on Amazon for your book Unholy Charade. It was a negative review:

    “This book allows no hope for God to work in a repentive heart. Not a single chapter acknowledged anyone who has truly repented to The Father and their spouse. If your hoping and praying for a better understanding of yourself and looking to create a better version of yourself this author tries to convince you change is impossible.
    As a pastor, implying to readers God doesn’t work in repentive hearts is not biblical.”

    This is what this person is doing. Focusing on “helping” the poor abuser and blaming others for not giving more. I have seen this throughout my entire life. Spending tons of time, effort, prayer, money, on those who are not only unrepentant, but who LOVE sinning. Who LOVE filth, evil, and dirty things like porn. Yet somehow we are trained to ignore this truth and waste time on those who truly love evil. While ignoring those who could TRULY benefit from love and kindness. Instead, we force the victims to participate in showing favor and love to the abuser.

    The bible tells us differently. We are to have nothing to do with those who have been shown grace and mercy again and again but who desire to live the way they do. Once we allow the truth and reality of who they are be seen, we can let them go. Let them live THEIR best life. Because their best life is to go to hell. They wouldn’t change it for anything.

    A person who is truly repentant understands the damage they have done can sometimes never be repaired. They do not try to force those they’ve hurt to help them. They understand it is only through God’s grace that they are redeemed.

    It’s a hard truth but it is THE truth. I love God and I love his Word. It is Life itself.


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