Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Can One RASN Recognize Another RASN?

1Jn 2:19-20 They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us. But they went out, that it might become plain that they all are not of us. (20) But you have been anointed by the Holy One, and you all have knowledge.

The Apostle John, in warning the church about the presence of the antichrist’s servants, explains to the true body of Christ why a group of people had abandoned them. They were not of us. They were not anointed by the Holy One. They were counterfeits.

Now, this means that these wicked ones were able to see that Christ’s true people were indwelt by His Spirit, and that they were not. Of course they would not have admitted this – they no doubt claimed to be the real thing, fine saints and all that. Nevertheless, they all detested Christ and all who truly belonged to Him.

This seems to me to indicate that they recognized something else. Namely, that THEY were one. That THEY were of the same brand. They departed together. They were not “of” these believers to whom John is writing. They didn’t like the smell of Christ’s people (we are a stench of death to those who are perishing). They knew who THEY were so like birds of a feather, they gathered against the truth of Christ and left.

I think that one RASN can recognize another RASN. And frankly, I think that this is very often the reason you see church leaders allying with RASNs in their churches. You know how it goes. Someone in the church is married to an abuser and the church leaders end up standing with the abuser rather than with the victim. The victim is either formally or informally put out of the church while the abuser remains a member or even an officer in good standing. The thing is mind-boggling, and yet it seems to me that the fog of confusion is largely lifted when we realize that the same species of fish gather together in schools.

Do I believe that this is always the explanation? No, but it may well explain things in many cases. RASNs stand together.

There is still another dynamic in all of this that I think needs to be mentioned too. And that is that ultimately RASNs will often turn on one another. If you have more than one narcissist in the room, eventually one or the other is going to demand to be top dog (apologies to my canine friends. I prefer their company any day to that of many people!). I bet that the group which left the church John wrote to did not stand together very long. I have seen all of this in action personally. Eventually they split up and go their separate ways. There just isn’t room for more than one of them in the same church.


Wise Words from J.C. Ryle – Following Christ is a Fight


They Only Go Deeper Undercover


  1. This is an angle I had not considered previously. Thank you.

  2. Sarah

    I was thinking about this the other day. Birds of a feather flock together.

  3. Kate

    Proverbs 6:12-14 “A troublemaker and a villain, who goes about with a corrupt mouth, who winks maliciously with his eye, signals with his feet and motions with his fingers, who plots evil with deceit in his heart—he always stirs up conflict.”

    Who is this evil one signaling to if not another of its own kind?

    Often they do recognize evil in others and when there is a victim to abuse, they often do it in tandem like a pack of dogs. It’s how people can be gang-raped. Evil people are NOT rare and in this generation they can find each other via the internet.

    You’re right in that eventually they often turn on each other. Each one thinks they are smarter, more clever, more evil than the other. If there are no true victims about (those who belong to Christ or with a conscience) and they need to get a fix by attacking someone, it will be the weaker of these losers.

    My husband thought he was top dog at one of his jobs. He thought he knew each employee and how to control them and manipulate his way to the top position. Blessedly, God had revealed what he was to me and I prayed for the people there and that he would not get the promotion. He did not get it and was forced to retire soon after. The evil he did was done to him in the end by people he thought he was smarter than.

    God is the only true smart being and when he loves us, we, through him, have all the power he possess. Prayer works and God LOVES to destroy these children who belong to the Lord of the dunghill…the original Mr. Smarty Pants…Satan. When we pray for God’s will to be done in their lives he loves to show us how much he loves his children and hates these spiritually dead ones by taking them down in the perfect way.

    • “Who is this evil one signaling to if not another of its own kind?”
      Excellent point. Like the secret handshake of an evil group, people who are not their own kind don’t understand the secret signal or better, know to stay away from the source of it.
      This conversation has been really helpful to me.

  4. Em

    I think you’re right, and I never thought about it before, they can recognize each other, but they do not necessarily recognize each other. I agree with “Do I believe that this is always the explanation? No, but it may well explain things in many cases. RASNs stand together.” å

    Yes, they really do stand and band together – in order to get what they want at the expense of others, particularly God’s children. But sometimes they don’t so much recognize each other as another narc or psycho, another RASN, as they just love, love, love those who agree with them and who follow them and who join with them in their evil. Strength in numbers, maybe? Just another idea, because after all, who doesn’t like to be agreed with if they think they’re right? Or if they’re trying to gaslight and manipulate?

    And thank you for the reminder that in a group of RASNs one will inevitably rise to the top and dominate all the others. Reminds me of satan himself…

  5. So true

    Thank you for this reminder, it’s very true. After reading this, in reflection, I could not think of one single multi-RASN encounter in which the feeling of their often silent competition was an unrest you could feel in a weird, undeniable way. Even if their mouths or actions didn’t immediately show it, you could still feel it. A perfect example was the completely dreaded decades of holiday “family” gatherings. Now that I am free of that poisonous pit…. there is a complete enjoyment of these holidays and seasons in a profound way. It’s not perfect, yet it’s so beautiful and peaceful – would never want to go back to the hell of not just one RASN in the holiday times, but multiples – truly….. n-e-v-e-r.

  6. SJH

    Yes! The only reason the pack leader RASN befriends another, junior RASN is get dirt on them for later use. The junior RASN often misinterpretes this as being chosen for the inner circle and truly don’t see the (future) attack coming.

    Watching a master RASN at work is like watching a serial killer (predator) stalk its prey…while they are actively attacking one, they have several more attacks planned and in the works, some taking years to come to fruition.

    NEVER befriend a RASN and take it as a compliment when they don’t want to be your “friend.” You will not change them by becoming their friend and only end up as their next target.

    Ever notice that covert RASNs offer this very advice about overt RASNs…”they have had a hard time, life”…”maybe they just need someone to nice to them”?

    • Kate

      Excellent observation about the pack leader and how he operates.! This accurately describes Mark Driscoll and how he manipulated his underlings within the Mars Hill church. It’s also how the SS conducted business during the Holocaust.

      The Worthless One always uses the same tactics because he is limited by God. Think of the infinity loop as a racing track. It’s what the evil one is forced to travel on. Endlessly repeating the same games and practices. Once someone is turned over to a worthless mind (Romans 1:28), they too are set on the same track. They use the same patterns as the evil one because they have the same mind and spirit.

      Knowing the truth about this reality can help you turn to Jesus more quickly and ask for his intervention. He hates these evil ones and loves to take them down.

      And, the last part about wanting people to be nice to them as though they are misunderstood. It’s is a way to keep you in the game as well as when they themselves are being evil, it’s how they want you to treat them too. Boo hoo, poor us!


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