Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Author: Jeff Crippen

What to do When Hope Seems Non-Existent+

“It’s hopeless.” If you are or have been the target of a domestic abuser or if you have a friend who is, then you have probably said this very thing. “There is no hope. She has no possible way that anyone can think of to get herself and her children away from this evil.” I have certainly thought this more than once after hearing a victim’s story.

  • No economic resources (due to his financial abuse)
  • No extended family to help her (he has allied them to his side)
  • No marketable job skills after decades of giving her life to him
  • No church that will support her in a divorce
  • No justice in the legal system (sometimes there is, often there is not)
  • No assurance that she will have full custody of the children

You just have to keep checking off “no” as you survey the landscape for an escape route.  It looks hopeless. It is not a sin to say it. The thing does appear to be devoid of any hope. And the fact is, humanly speaking, it is.

Sin of Abuse Exposed by the Light of Christ — Sermon by Ps Crippen

Sin of Abuse Exposed by the Light of Christ
Sermon 1 from the series: The Psychology and Methods of Sin
A 21 sermon series on domestic violence and abuse
First given on July 25, 2010

3 John 1:9-10 I have written something to the church, but Diotrephes, who likes to put himself first, does not acknowledge our authority. (10) So if I come, I will bring up what he is doing, talking wicked nonsense against us. And not content with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers, and also stops those who want to and puts them out of the church.

This morning we are beginning an intermission in our study of the Gospel of John to begin a series which I have been studying and preparing for in the past few months. This series has as its subject a very, very important topic that we simply cannot remain ignorant of. Let me introduce it to you by explaining how I came to it myself.
Last year, I began to ask myself if there might be some way that we as a church could become wiser in respect to the deceptions and schemes of the enemy. That is to say, I was asking the question “Are there some typical, characteristic, common warning signs that will help us more clearly and more readily see the enemy when he comes to us disguised in sheep’s clothing?”
Why was I asking this question? Because over the past years, this church has been assaulted numerous times (as has any true church) by divisive men, by men trying to introduce false doctrine, by men like Diotrophes who craved to be first in the church, and so on. And we expect that there will be more attacks in the future.
Now, at this point, you are probably asking – “Well, we have the Bible. It is sufficient for everything. Why look any place else?” And you are absolutely correct – the Bible is completely sufficient to make us wise with God’s wisdom. And in all the reading that I have been doing, inevitably as I discover some more things about the psychology and methods of sin, I find out that sure enough, these very things are indeed in the Bible – but I had not seen them nor really understood them yet. This is one of the reasons why it is so important for the Church to have older members who have served Christ for many, many years – because we grow in Christ’s wisdom and understanding as He teaches us through the years – often in the “classroom” of life.
For example – we have already heard this morning that one deed of the flesh is jealousy – that another is sensuality, and so on. But just what do these sins look like? Are they always really that easy to recognize? And I can tell you, they are not. Sin, by its very nature, is a lie. It is deceptive and dark and crafty. The serpent in Eden did not appear to be such a threat to Eve.

Unholy Charade is Not Affiliated in any Way with the A Cry for Justice (ACFJ) Blog

1 Timothy 1:3-6 As I urged you when I was going to Macedonia, remain at Ephesus so that you may charge certain persons not to teach any different doctrine, (4) nor to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies, which promote speculations rather than the stewardship from God that is by faith. (5) The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. (6) Certain persons, by swerving from these, have wandered away into vain discussion,

I am now compelled, though reluctantly and with sorrow, to make a public statement about my relationship to the blog ministry A Cry for Justice, which is registered to and operated by Barbara Roberts. I need to make it very clear that I resigned from ACFJ last year (Oct 2017).  Over 700 of my sermons and articles remain online there, but please understand that I am not a part of ACFJ and more importantly, that I do not endorse the direction it has been going for some time now. [My first book, A Cry for Justice: How the Evil of Domestic Abuse Hides in Your Church, still bears that title. But that is not to be construed that I am still connected in any way with the ACFJ blog which I originally started some years ago].
Readers should also be aware that TWBTC (the woman behind the curtain) who has so faithfully worked behind the scenes at ACFJ for several years has also recently resigned from there. Her reasons for doing so are the same – ACFJ is no longer fulfilling the mission it was established to pursue. TWBTC told me, “I resigned Sept 6, 2018 as a result of seeing the direction Barb was going and because of other concerns I saw from the backend of the ACFJ blog.”

**The Quest for Power and Control – the Heart and Mind of the Abuser+2

3 John 1:9-10 I have written something to the church, but Diotrephes, who likes to put himself first, does not acknowledge our authority. (10) So if I come, I will bring up what he is doing, talking wicked nonsense against us. And not content with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers, and also stops those who want to and puts them out of the church.

At the heart and in the mind of all abusers – be they domestic, sexual, or spiritual – is this profound mentality of entitlement to power and control. You see it in this Diotrephes who the Apostle John is going to take on. Diotrophes “likes to put himself first.” And so it is in an abusive marriage. The abuser is to be top dog, or else.

**The Unholy Charade of the Domestic Abuser in the Church+1

2 Timothy 3:2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy…

Psalm 55:20-21 My companion stretched out his hand against his friends; he violated his covenant. (21) His speech was smooth as butter, yet war was in his heart; his words were softer than oil, yet they were drawn swords.

If you are a Christian, a genuine, real, child of God regenerated by faith alone in Christ alone, then it is essential that you become wise as serpents regarding the tactics and schemes of your enemy, the Prince of Darkness. Paul told the Corinthians that Satan and his servants come to us in disguise, masking themselves in a charade of false holiness in order to deceive and enslave us. Wise as serpents. Innocent as doves.
But most Christians are not wise. And as result, neither are they innocent because they foolishly become the ally of the wicked in oppressing their victims. This unholy charade is being carried out in the church which Christ calls to be a pillar of His truth!

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