Psa 92:1-4 A Psalm, a Song for the Sabbath day. It is good to give thanks to the LORD And to sing praises to Your name, O Most High; (2) To declare Your lovingkindness in the morning And Your faithfulness by night, (3) With the ten-stringed lute and with the harp, With resounding music upon the lyre. (4) For You, O LORD, have made me glad by what You have done, I will sing for joy at the works of Your hands.
A friend recently pointed me toward this Psalm when I shared with them that I frequently wake up in the mornings and the first thing that pops into my mind is some wicked person who launched their attacks on me sometime in the past – often even years ago. I don’t like waking up to those thoughts. This Psalm speaks of giving thanks for the Lord’s lovingkindness in the morning.
As time goes on the Lord does help those memories to fade, but I suppose we won’t be completely free of them as long as we are in this world. I am sure that Satan has a lot to do with it. I don’t know how, but he surely has the ability to put thoughts into our minds. Maybe those are some of what Paul calls the flaming missiles launched at us.
I just wanted to share this experience with you all so that you need not feel that you are alone when this is happening to you. Everyone experiences it. I think experts on trauma have some things to say about it. I seem to recall someone mentioning this book –The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. I haven’t read the book so I can’t recommend it at this point but the title does express what I am saying here.
Feel free to share your comments with all of us here. Do you wake up with those thoughts? And how many years have you been out of the abuse? Do you find those thoughts weakening?
Veronica Miyake
I’ve been divorced from the abuser for over 26 years, and I rarely give him a thought. And even when I do, there’s no sting to it. It took several years to get to this point, though, partially because I had to deal with him all of the time with the custody situation of my daughter.
I believe it has a lot to do with personality and temperament when it comes to the length of time it takes to get over things, but eventually time does heal. Having any contact or even hearing about the person or persons who harmed you also plays a role in how long it takes. I read certain scriptures many, many times, and asked the Lord to help me receive and believe the promises He gives through them. Here’s a few of my favorites:
“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with My righteous right hand. Be sure that all who are enraged against you will be ashamed and disgraced; those who contend with you will become as nothing and will perish. You will look for those who contend with you, but you will not find them. Those who war against you will become absolutely nothing. For I, Yahweh your God, hold your right hand and say to you: Do not fear, I will help you.”
Isaiah 41:10-13
“Though the mountains move and the hills shake, My love will not be removed from you and My covenant of peace will not be shaken,” says your compassionate Lord. “Poor Jerusalem, storm-tossed, and not comforted, I will set your stones in black mortar, and lay your foundations in sapphires. I will make your fortifications out of rubies, your gates out of sparkling stones, and all your walls out of precious stones. Then all your children will be taught by the Lord, their prosperity will be great, and you will be established on a foundation of righteousness. You will be far from oppression, you will certainly not be afraid; you will be far from terror, it will certainly not come near you. If anyone attacks you, it is not from Me; whoever attacks you will fall before you. No weapon formed against you will succeed, and you will refute any accusation raised against you in court. This is the heritage of the Lord’s servants, and their righteousness is from Me.” This is the Lord’s declaration.” Isaiah 54:10-15, 17
“But God says to the wicked: “What right do you have to recite My statutes and to take My covenant on your lips? You hate instruction and turn your back on My words. When you see a thief, you make friends with him, and you associate with adulterers. You unleash your mouth for evil and harness your tongue for deceit. You sit, maligning your brother, slandering your mother’s son. You have done these things, and I kept silent; you thought I was just like you. But I will rebuke you and lay out the case before you.” Psalms 50:16-21
“Take note! I will make those from the synagogue of Satan, who claim to be Jews and are not, but are lying — note this — I will make them come and bow down at your feet, and they will know that I have loved you.”
Revelation 3:9
Knowing that the Lord knows the truth and sees their wickedness was of great comfort to me! And just like the Isaiah 41 verses say, he has become nothing. I am praying for you, Pastor.
Solveig Warren
The expression “Having someone breathe down your neck” had a significant impact on me when I discovered a six foot tall chancellor bending over me trying to eavesdrop on my conversation. I made a conscious decision to avoid similar events by literally shielding my body from unpleasant intruders too close to me. I prayed for God to place a golden shield like a bubble around me 24/7, the armour of God. This also works during my sleep and waking up any unpleasant abusers I might have encountered do not enter my sacred personal space. No abuser lurking around like a thief in the night. I have applied same ‘method’ to protect my home from potential uninvited intruders, I even protect my car as I consider it an extension of my home. Bless you for reading this comment as a solution to a problem.
Sarah
Thank you for sharing this, Pastor! The Body Keeps the Score is a great book. I recommend it. I am going to write out that Psalm and post where I will often see it. I often remind myself that 1.) the Lord loves justice and will deliver that at some point 2.) “Love is never wasted, for its value does not rest upon reciprocity.” C.S. Lewis.
SJH
No.
lg
Highly recommend reading The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk. I also attended a three day professional development teacher training teaching students with anxiety and depression featuring Bessel van der Kolk. This is one of my top five books. This book was also helpful for me in as I recover from my own abuse trauma and to understand this process.
I also keep encouraging bible verses posted on my walls in my house and updated frequently in my bathroom and kitchen, which I find very healing and encouraging. This has been incredibly helpful for me. I even bought IKEA picture frames to have a whole wall in my bathroom devoted to favorite encouraging scripture verses and bought some watercolor designs of scripture verses from etsy. For my fridge I printed out verses and put them in magnetic picture holders.
Jeff Crippen
As I mentioned, I have not read that book, so I am not in a position to recommend it. While we certainly can find good help from certain secular authors, I always want to caution everyone to put everything we hear or read through a biblical filter. Ultimately our help is to be found in the Lord and in His Word and many times what we hear or read is not consistent with the truth of Scripture. Lies can sneak up on us. So let’s all take care. The primary Word we must be feeding on is God’s Word. This is why I teach multiple weekly Bible studies and preach a biblical sermon every Sunday. My primary task and calling is to preach and teach God’s Word. The Christian’s fundamental focus is to be Christ, His truth, growing in Him. This is why I try to consistently point everyone to the Lord and to His Word. We want to help people see the evils and wicked tactics of domestic abusers, but in addition we want to point them all to Christ and lead them to feed upon His Word. That is where our real freedom will come from.
lg
Also — Isaiah 54 which has been so helpful in my own abuse recovery.
Currently Isaiah 54:11-15. I’ve been doing a bible study of this section researching the meaning, history, and healing/health powers of the stones mentioned here in the ESV version verses 11-12: ie: antimony, sapphires, agate, carbuncles; rubies; beryl (emerald)….
“O afflicted one, storm-tossed and not comforted, behold, I will set your stones in antimony, and lay your foundations with sapphires. I will make your pinnacles of agate, your gates of carbuncles, and all your wall of precious stones.”
“All your children shall be taught by the LORD, and great shall be the peace of your children….”