Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

My Dogs are More Human than a Narcissist

2Ti 3:1-4 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. (2) For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, (3) unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, (4) treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God;

Focus in on “unloving” in this diabolical list.

We have two dogs – Cinder and Mocha. Previously we had Sadie and Sasha for many years and before them, Brandy and Buster. Our dogs love us. No question about it – dogs are capable of love. Every morning they greet us excitedly as if they hadn’t seen us for a year. They lay down on the couch beside us and put their head in our lap. If we are going somewhere, they plead to go with us.

A classic characteristic of a narcissist (or for that matter, the other categories abbreviated by RASN – revilers, abusers, and sociopaths) – is that they are absolutely incapable of love. They have an astonishing mentality of superiority and entitlement. They are the center of their universe. They use others as a supply of exaltation for themselves. As human beings, they are supposed to love. But they don’t – anything that looks like love in them is just a facade. RASNs are beasts. I won’t say they are animals because that would be an insult to animals. RASNs are sub-human in many ways.

It is sadly common that domestic abusers, for instance, are cruel to animals. One reason is simply because they know their human victim loves that pet and is also loved by that pet. So they want to hurt their spouse by hurting what they love. But I think there is another reason as well. They are cruel to the family dog, for instance, because that dog is more human than they are. That beloved dog makes the abuser look bad because, unlike the evil person, the dog does what a human should do – it loves others.

I think that a very excellent way a surviving and recovering abuse victim can be helped is to have a pet that is high enough up the animal kingdom ladder that it is capable of love. Bob Wiley (What about Bob?) talks to his pet goldfish, but I don’t think a goldfish is going to be a big help in this business. I realize that not all people are able to have a dog, nor do all people have a desire to have one, but I can tell you – a dog (or maybe a cat as an alternative?) is a powerful means of regaining a sense of being loved. I don’t know much of anything about what a service dog does or the theory behind service animals – but I’ll bet this aspect of loving their human is a big part of it.

It is not pleasant to finally come to the realization that someone who was supposed to love you, never did. Doesn’t. Never will. RASNs don’t love, and you can be sure that living year after year with such a “person” (quotes to indicate RASNs are really sub-persons)…you can be sure that it will have a very negative effect on you. Think about it. The vibes are constantly sent out like sonar waves – “you are not worth loving. You have no value. You never do anything right.” Day, after day, after day until the person you once were virtually fades out.

Contrast that with a furry friend who bounces up and down, gives you a few licks, and shows you that you are the center of his world. That is love and the amazing thing is that it is coming from an animal – and never came from the human being who once claimed to love you. Who is more human?


The Key to a Clear Conscience


False Forgiveness as Accusation


  1. Sandra

    I would have died, mentally, physically, and emotionally, were it not for the love of my dogs. Jesus loves me. And dogs mostly certainly go to heaven.

  2. Z

    100% spot on! The family dog I had from when I was a teen taught me about what love felt like for the first time in my life. She was my comfort dog, my service animal, my survival and support lifeline, my best friend,…without any formal designation. But she was no doubt my lifesaver. She too was abused by my ex-father. And he always threatened us that he was going to “give her the needle” to scare and control us. Vicious sadist.😈
    My rescue dogs I’ve adopted as an adult have been the same. I know not all dogs have that same bond with their “person” nor the other way around. Some are for sport/hunting. Some for home protection. Some for entering competitions.
    But God has greatly blessed me by “restoring what the locusts have eaten” many times over (the love and care that SHOULD have been natural for parents to gladly give their child but instead they doled out a lifetime of violent abuses and misery). God gave me gifts from above-these abandoned “mutts” and the intuitive, selfless, soul nurturing pure love of all the dogs He has brought into my life.
    And, Sandra, there is SO much in the Scriptures that to me proves that animals have sinless souls and do go back to the Giver in heaven, from Whose outstretched Hand they came to us!
    I look forward to seeing, feeling, smelling, hearing, soaking up the sloppy licks and kisses, the happy yelps while jumping all over me…the joy of all the dogs I’ve loved and who have loved me! In the Presence of their loving Creator and mine! Reunited and never to be parted again. My husband and I pray that our “mansion” is where the animals are!
    Other than my husband, an answered prayer God gifted me, the true loves in my life sadly have not been any people I expect to see in heaven. Human love has proven over and over to be unattainable or false or often harmful in my life, surrounded since birth by wolves in sheep’s clothing. Abusers and their allies. Satan’s gang.
    But👆🏽God MORE than made it up to me with the love of dogs that provided Jesus-like love to me that I will get to enjoy for all eternity.


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