Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Humility Does not mean no Self-confidence

Num 16:8-11 And Moses said to Korah, “Hear now, you sons of Levi: (9) is it too small a thing for you that the God of Israel has separated you from the congregation of Israel, to bring you near to himself, to do service in the tabernacle of the LORD and to stand before the congregation to minister to them, (10) and that he has brought you near him, and all your brothers the sons of Levi with you? And would you seek the priesthood also? (11) Therefore it is against the LORD that you and all your company have gathered together. What is Aaron that you grumble against him?”

Num 12:3 Now the man Moses was very meek, more than all people who were on the face of the earth.

The genuine Christian desires to be humble. Sometimes we fail, but the Lord enables us to repent of our pride and we return to humility. Humility is acknowledging who we are and who God is. It is to reject sinful pride and refuse to think more highly of ourselves than we ought. The person who is characterized by pride is simply not one of Christ’s people.

But humility does not mean that we have no spiritual backbone. You see this in the Scriptures above. Moses was the most humble man on the face of the earth! Incredible statement. But when Korah decided to launch this rebellion against the Lord, Moses stood his ground and spoke for the Lord, just as Paul opposed Peter to his face. Our greatest model of humility of course is the Lord Jesus Himself-

Php 2:8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

RASNs (revilers, abusers, sociopaths, narcissists) trespass on our boundaries. We have rightful boundaries. That is to say, we have the right to, for instance, our own opinions, to our preferences, to be individual persons. All within the bounds of the Lord’s Word of course, but we have these lines which other people have no right to deny us. RASNs do. They are boundary trespassers.

Just because we are humble does not mean that we permit the wicked to cross or destroy those boundaries. We know this because Moses stood right up to Korah. And the Lord Jesus got right in the face of the wicked many times.

One of the deceptions of Satan is that he sends his emissaries to us and they insist that we always conform to their opinions, their preferences, and thus to cast away our own individuality and personhood. It happened right off in Eden and it still happens today.

So don’t make the mistake of thinking that Godly humility requires acquiescing (fancy word for caving in) to the RASN. It doesn’t. And in this sense the most humble person is the most courageous.

Let me give you a classic example which I have probably told you before. Over 20 years ago when our church still had quite a few RASNs in it, one particular “holiest of the holy saints” accused me of “distancing myself from my flock” when we were enabled through a modest inheritance to purchase our own home instead of living next door to the church building in the church parsonage. Our new home was further away. He went on to say, “now you will be way over there by yourself without any accountability.” What horrid wickedness!! I pity the church he is now.

False humility produced by the RASN’s boundary trespassing would respond with, “perhaps you are right. Maybe I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.” I didn’t say that, but neither did I speak up against this evil as strongly as I should have. Back then I still didn’t understand all of this kind of evil. And I must say it still can catch me off guard today. I kick myself when it does.

What does humility say in such a situation? Something like – “I have every right, just like any of you all, to buy a home and choose what place it is in. (It was only 20 minutes away from the church building). You have no right to trespass on my personhood in this manner and I call you to repent of it.” Because real humility is courageous and stands for truth.


So Easy to be Carried Away by the Enemy if we are not on Guard


Satan’s Disguise


  1. Daughter of the King

    Thanks, Pastor Jeff, for giving us an example of how to respond in strength and humility when confronted with a RASN’s evil words.

  2. Stand firm

    Thank you for this – the message is (again) incredibly good timing and a huge blessing!!! Had a horrible public mocking encounter from a RASN in our neighborhood, and it completely caught me off guard in front of a group. Had been dreading the fact I was going to have to be in their vicinity later again – and likely to come across a similar situation because of their patterns – your message has been a perfectly timed reminder of standing firm and how to respond – not just in this situation and others that are inevitably going to happen with the RASNs!! Thank you so much!!!!

  3. Kate

    From the post: “RASNs (revilers, abusers, sociopaths, narcissists) trespass on our boundaries. We have rightful boundaries.”

    What the bible has to say about moving boundaries:
    — “The princes of Judah are like those who move a boundary marker; I will pour out My wrath on them like [an unrestrained flood of] water.” Hosea 5:10
    –““Cursed is anyone who moves their neighbor’s boundary stone.” Deuteronomy 27:17
    –““You shall not move your neighbor’s boundary mark, which the forefathers [who first divided the territory] have set, in the land which you will inherit in the land which the LORD your God is giving you to possess.” Deuteronomy 19:14

    How serious was this offense? Here are some of the commentaries from Hosea 5:10:

    “…an indication that this very legislation existed before the time of the prophet. They break down the barrier between right and wrong, between truth and falsehood, between Jehovah and Baalim.” (Ellicott)

    “They have violated the most sacred laws of God: upon which, not only the ordinances of his worship, but likewise the rights and properties of men depend.” (Benson)

    “the ancient bounds which limited every one, prevented controversies and oppressions of encroaching, covetous men. The prophet, I doubt not, aims at reproving the sin of these great ones in changing the laws of religion, as well as altering the bounds of civil rights, whether by encroaching upon foreigners, and enlarging the kingdom of Judah by entrenching on the neighbouring kingdoms, or, which is more certain, by injustice and violence seizing what was another’s.” (Matthew Poole)

    {Moving the boundry} “…which to do was contrary to the law, Deuteronomy 19:14; and has always been reckoned a heinous sin among all nations, and is only done by such who have no regard to right and wrong, and by them secretly; and such were the kings, princes, and nobles of Judah; they secretly committed the grossest iniquities, yea, were abandoned to their vile lusts, and could not be contained within any bounds. ” (Gill)

    The bible takes violating physical boundaries set in place by God extremely seriously. How much more the violation of His very children? Where the Holy Spirit dwells?

    In a very short time, He will pour out His wrath on them. Justice!


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