Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

“But I Just Want to Think Good About Everyone”

Joh 8:44 You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

Gal 5:12 I wish those who unsettle you would emasculate themselves!

Tit 3:10-11 As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, (11) knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.

There are people, even and perhaps especially many professing Christians, who maintain that it is wrong and sinful to say or think anything negative about anyone. They hold to the notion that loving others means believing they are basically good, overlooking their sins, and always believing “the best” about them. These are the kind of people who will tell the abuse victim who begins to confide to them the abuse they are living in – “now, you shouldn’t talk about your spouse that way. If you just think the best about them, all will be well.” But it isn’t. And it won’t.

I have often wondered what makes such people “tick.” We living in an increasingly wicked world and yet if you point out the evils around us that are so obvious, this kind of a person will try to neutralize you observations. “Oh, well I choose to believe that there are a lot of good people in this world.” And yet,

Rom 3:10-12 as it is written: “None is righteous, no, not one; (11) no one understands; no one seeks for God. (12) All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one.”

Did Jesus ever “just think the best about everyone”? You know the answer to that –

Joh 2:24-25 But Jesus on his part did not entrust himself to them, because he knew all people (25) and needed no one to bear witness about man, for he himself knew what was in man.

So what does make these “always just think good about others” people tick? To some degree I think it is pride. It makes them feel superior to others. In other cases the motive is no doubt cowardice because to conclude that someone is evil quite often means having to take a stand against them. In still other cases the reason is ignorance. If we are ignorant of the nature and even the existence of evil, and of its tactics, then we are going to remain blind to it. In still other cases – perhaps the most common – the motive is plain old unbelief in God’s Word and refusal to obey Him.

The Bible has much to say about the wicked and also much to say to Christians about how we are to deal with the wicked. We are not to associate with them – especially if they claim to be a Christian. We are to put them out of the church. We are to defend their victims. All of this requires paying a price. And so the “just think good about everyone always” crowd ignores much of the Bible, willfully disregarding God’s own Word and choosing to travel a path that makes them feel so good about themselves.

God, however, doesn’t feel good about them at all:

Deu 27:19 “‘Cursed be anyone who perverts the justice due to the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen.’


A Beautiful New Scripture Poster


Keep Away from a False Gospel


  1. Sarah

    Thanks, Pastor! I especially appreciate the sort about paying a price. It seems that there are very few who are willing to pay the price required to defend victims… thankful for those who are willing, but it does cost!

  2. See it /then for what it & they are

    Well…… as hard as this is to stomach, I was one of them who tried to see the good in everyone….yep…… It wasn’t until my 30s that a former friend (ironically a thoroughbred RASN) brought it to my attention that I wasn’t seeing the good in people, I was seeing the potential in people. It was a really hard one to wrap my head around – that there are truly evil and wicked people with no hope, yet there are…. and they have opted to follow satan….::the RASN, in their “I’m so right and you’re never as good as me” comment..: was right. In the end, I saw the “good” in that RASN far too many years. Once you see it, really see it, all the RASNs bubble up – and when you move away they all seek to sabotage. And……finally, you see them for who they are, and move on. No need to look back…. Christ is not meant to be behind us…. He is with us and forward.

    • Jeff Crippen

      This is one of the most honest and accurate comments we will hear someone speak. Thank you very much. There actually aren’t many “just see the good in everyone” types who finally have the lights come on. It usually requires the Lord bringing wickedness into their own sphere, targeting them or perhaps one of their children, to start to get it. Refusing to acknowledge evil is something that the prevailing false gospel instills in the churches. It places filters on us so that all the sermons we hear (even if they are true ones) and all the scriptures we read are stripped of truth about evil.

  3. Tracey

    Evil is not tolerated or excused by God. Why would we do it?

  4. Kate

    For abusers, it’s also a form of control.

    When we state TRUTHFULLY that someone is evil we are told WE are the problem and that if we just thought well of everyone and gave them a chance, we’d be more like Jesus. It’s a form of gaslighting too. Denying us the right to say we see evil in others.

    THERE IS NO TRUTH IN THEM. In the evil/worthless ones. Just like their father the devil. They like to keep everyone blind just like themselves. We true Christians cannot grow or get closer to God when we are bound by this deception (or any lies).

    In time, I have learned that God loves me enough to wake me up to these truths through His word. As with the bible verses in this post, there are many others that speak this truth. Thanks again Pastor, your sermons and bible studies are played daily here.

  5. Innoscent

    One darling Bible passage of the Just-want-to-think-the-best-of-everyone cohort is 1 Corinthians 13 about Love. It’s their tree that hides the forest, ie all the other verses and about wicked people.

    I cringe when I hear that passage used in sermons (like 2 weeks ago at a church I visited) without any qualifiers. Let’s all follow the apostle’s recipe and all will be wonderful in our midst and in our families, and marriages.

    It’s pure brainwashing directly from the pulpit. Sadly, the folks’ ability of discernment, for most, is neutralized and confused by the traditions and customs.

    Thank you Jeff for unveiling those and instructing us in the Truth.


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