Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

More Thoughts on Abusers as Trespassers

Rom 14:4 Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

I have had the unfortunate experience more than once of being around professing Christians who are boundary violators. They want to control. They want to judge (condemn). They want to tell you what you did wrong. They act as if they were some kind of prophet (or prophetess) on a divine mission to deliver God’s will for me.

These kind typically fancy themselves to be eminent godly saints and they frequently hold some kind of leadership position in a church. They scrutinize you and then begin to instruct. “You are doing this wrong. This is what God wants you to be doing.” That kind of thing.

Way back in 2010 the Lord very obviously called me, as part of the teaching and preaching functions of a pastor, to zero in on the evil of domestic abusers hiding in the churches. Being protected by the churches even. And to help and vindicate their victims. It has been amazing. Here we are going on 13 years later and that ministry goes on. And yet, I have had pastors and other church officers, denominational leaders, and other tell me that this is not God’s will. That our church needs to be doing something else. That our online outreach to victims is not “church.”

What should be our response to such people? The verse quoted above is perfect: who are you to judge the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. In other words, “you are trespassing into an area of my life and calling that you have no permission to be in.”

Mark that verse down and remember it. Be prepared the next time one of these types crosses you fence.


Narcissists/Abusers do not Forgive


There is Just Something Missing…


  1. healinginhim

    Those that have criticized your church’s online ministry choose to judge you but I’ll bet they are unwilling to be judged!
    Personally, I have received encouragement and confirmation from the online ministry. Thank you for persevering and reaching out.

  2. Becky

    Yes, your ministry has helped me so much! I still read every post and Light for Dark Times too, and find strength and encouragement. Bless you, and thank you for all you do.

  3. Free

    If it were not for your online, realistic depictions of life, Christ – and the survivors’ loosening the grips of those who parade around supporting the wolves in sheep’s clothing – it would’ve been a much more difficult journey away from them. You have spoken vivid truth into the situation and provided such strong reaffirmation of the Lord’s dealing with the wicked and evil. This online church is more church than the brick and mortar locations ever were. Thank you

  4. Z

    Pastor Crippen,
    This online church and your ministry to us-those who were tangled up in false teachings about blanket forgiveness of habitual unrepentant abusers, about ravenous wolves in sheep’s clothing WITHIN our churches and even in pulpits and leadership, about falsely idolizing abusive “family” and “marriage” and staying in those bondages as “good Christians”. Also about the true nature of evil and of the enemy of our souls who wants to annihilate God’s TRUE children and uses people who are willing allies to such evil and destruction to add to the abuses we’ve suffered by their support of evil abusers and their betrayals and abandonments of the victims-being willfully complicit in that evil.
    I know how vital this online church has been to my life and survival. It has strengthened and sustained me. It has fed me with the Bread of Life-Jesus. It has supported all these teachings about evil in the church with solid foundations in God’s Word. How much value can one put on being better and better able to recognize evil in this world and in our churches?
    And the Sunday sermons which never neglect to highlight the one basic fact of the Christian life-“You Must Be Born Again!” Not shying away from describing what God’s Word says awaits those who are not truly born again. Hell. The subject so many false, ear-tickling preachers and Christians don’t want to talk about or hear. They remain either truly or willfully ignorant of the very real evil among them.
    This online church has matured and strengthened my walk with Christ and my faith in Him. It has helped me to look to Jesus to be my all in all when all others have forsaken me. It does what ALL so-called “Christian churches” SHOULD be doing. Too many are afraid of the cost though. They prefer to cherry-pick subjects to preach and teach that will please and placate their congregants. And many of their congregants continue in not ever being truly born again. They remain on the Broad Way to destruction. Woe to those churches. The blood of those who end up in hell because they didn’t warn or teach them is on their hands.
    So I thank you, Pastor Crippen for your true pastoral courage, compassion, leadership and teachings that have changed my life. You are a true shepherd of his flock.

  5. Solveig Warren

    I have spent the better part of my life fighting off boundary trespassers in my life and realised how important it was to have firm boundaries. With definite firm and fair boundaries I was able to invite people into my ‘waiting room’ for future processing. The story of my life’s journey belongs to me and is between me and my maker. I resort to asking questions and this opens up the genuine desires of the others. I have witnessed ‘Christians’ melt away in front of my eyes as they slither back into the dark recesses of the world and I praise and thank God for the teaching he gave me. These s.c godly Christians had been working on manipulating their way into their pastor’s inner circle using the wife as a go-between. It is a lonely road to travel, however, I travel with my best friend always beside me, he never lets me down.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *