Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Pharaoh Pursuing the Israelites is a Perfect Picture of the Abuser

In recent posts dealing with the fact that abusers see their spouse and children as property owned, Innoscent made the following excellent comment:

In the eyes of the abuser the marriage covenant contract is an exclusive title whereby he becomes the proprietor of his wife, whatever she owns, her life, their children, everything. To him, there is no joint ownership and responsibility. There is no love. His plan is all about taking, kidnapping, and sucking out every bit of life, goodness, talent, etc. everything of his prey. Abusers are similar to parasitic plants and insects they live off.
My ex-H once litterally compared me to a car in a letter to a friend who was shocked by that. So was I, but at that time I was under his spell and in thick fog, and explained it away as some type of male figurative talk.
Sadly the church interprets the husband’s entitlement to his wife as ‘a noble statement’ as you said Jeff, when in reality he’s bent on pillaging and looting her life in the long run. Covert satanic rioting, that’s what it is.

If you want a clear picture of all of this in Scripture, all you need do is go back to Exodus and read:

Exodus 14:5-8 ESV  When the king of Egypt was told that the people had fled, the mind of Pharaoh and his servants was changed toward the people, and they said, “What is this we have done, that we have let Israel go from serving us?”  (6)  So he made ready his chariot and took his army with him,  (7)  and took six hundred chosen chariots and all the other chariots of Egypt with officers over all of them.  (8)  And the LORD hardened the heart of Pharaoh king of Egypt, and he pursued the people of Israel while the people of Israel were going out defiantly.

Pharaoh’s heart was hardened by the Lord, but it was a hardening of Pharaoh’s own wicked sin. The Lord does not create sin. He declared that He was going to destroy Pharaoh.
But we see here that Israel, having been enslaved and persecuted but now set free, was being chased after by Pharaoh and his army. What was Pharaoh’s motivation? Well, it was just what we have been talking about – He viewed Israel as HIS property. Now that they had escaped, he was going out to get his property back and return them to slavery and cruel bondage.
This tells me that these servants of the devil, like Pharaoh, all have this very same mentality. A wife is owned. Children are property. And if they ever try to escape, well, he’s coming after them fully loaded. This is exactly what happens, doesn’t it? I am sure many of you could confirm it from your own experience. These abusers, these wicked Pharaohs of our day, will sooner kill a wife and/or children than to be “defrauded” of what is their property by right.
May the Lord continue to bring the walls of the sea down upon these wicked ones and lead the oppressed into freedom.


Churches Need to Stop Practicing Willful Blindness toward the Wicked


The Wicked Work to Alienate Others Against Us


  1. wingingit

    Yes, he once actually told our adult son that I do not deserve a home, any money, or a life because I left him.
    He has said I deserve nothing good, at all. Out loud, to actual people.
    He really believes that I stole from him. I stole his property, which was me. In his eyes, I have NO right to live at all, if I live independently of him.
    He told me to my face to kill myself. For my treasonous act of stealing his slave, I deserve the death penalty, in his view.
    It is an evil Pharoah spirit.

    • Innoscent

      Dear wingingit,
      I’m sorry to hear about the suffering you endured from your cruel ‘pharaoh’ and I praise God for your courage to leave and live.
      Abusers are experts in covert ‘drip robbery’, one wee inch at a time until they have taken total possession of you unaware, and they’ve crushed your spirit and you no longer know your rights and have no means and power to escape. This is the deep hole where I was too. But the tighter the grip of the abuser, the greater the mercy and power of God to rescue His dear ones. 1 Cor 10.13.
      What that abuser stole from you, God will give it back one day, here or on the earth made new.
      Job 42:12 **And the LORD blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning.** And he had 14,000 sheep, 6,000 camels, 1,000 yoke of oxen, and 1,000 female donkeys. (13) He had also seven sons and three daughters.

  2. Daughter of the King

    This is spot on! Unfortunately : (
    It is no wonder that I have had to overcome real fear as I’ve walked with God away from an abusive man. When I left, he turned all four of our daughters against me, and used them to torment me. I was on the verge of a breakdown, and I think he would have been happy of I killed myself. (Which I considered at one point.) Then he would have been looking like the good guy…poor me, my wife went crazy and now I’m a single dad raising these four daughters all by myself.
    But the story didn’t end there! God is so good, and he has the power to set us free, just as he did for the Israelites! It took time, but now my daughters and I have wonderful relationships! God used me to go back and rescue them from their dad, and now they have no contact with him.
    Psalm 116:1-2 I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.

    • Innoscent

      Daughter of the King,
      What a powerful testimony! I am so glad that your 4 daughters saw through the wickedness of their ‘father’ and that God used you powerfully to rescue them.
      Sadly sometimes it doesn’t work out so well and dear ones are alienated from you by the abuser(s) who causes a tsunami in your relationships. This is my case, but God’s fellowship and love have been the sweeter and worth everything to me. 🙂
      I was also driven to despair and suicidal thoughts, but God’s love for me prevailed. After the divorce I had to relearn how to be free, take baby steps. It was amazing and scary at the same time.

  3. walkinginlight

    These wicked men are not normal. They all have the same wicked vile spirit in them that hates females and will do anything to cause them suffering! The more suffering they cause the happier they are. The anti-husband told me that he would rather be in jail then support me. They get filled with rage and revenge at the thought of loosing their “controlling” grip. These are not decent men looking out for females ahead of themselves, they are hate filled demonically controlled humans that God Himself will throw into the lake of fire.

    • frankiesmith2064

      Walking in the light—thank you for your comment. Amen!!!

    • Innoscent

      The truth is that your anti-husband being in bondage to Satan is actually in jail. His hate of females keeps him from enjoying a normal relationship and being happy in life. Too bad…

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