Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Who is a Christian – Psalm 15 Answers the Question

Most of you have had to struggle with the question, “is my abuser a Christian?”  Why? Because he (and sometimes she) claims to be. Because the abuser so often parades as the finest saintly holy one in the entire church, and most of the people believe it. Just as the abuser’s father can appear as an angel of light, so can his servants.
Local churches and pastors often and even typically insist that the abuser is indeed a child of God, not of the devil. We all sin, you know. So they allow him to remain in the pew, and sometimes even in the pulpit!
But what does the Bible say? Who is a Christian and who is not a Christian? While Scripture clearly answers these questions over and over, we are just going to look at one such text in this article. Here it is. Read carefully:

Psa 15:1-5  A Psalm of David. O LORD, who shall sojourn in your tent? Who shall dwell on your holy hill?  (2)  He who walks blamelessly and does what is right and speaks truth in his heart;  (3)  who does not slander with his tongue and does no evil to his neighbor, nor takes up a reproach against his friend;  (4)  in whose eyes a vile person is despised, but who honors those who fear the LORD; who swears to his own hurt and does not change;  (5)  who does not put out his money at interest and does not take a bribe against the innocent. He who does these things shall never be moved.

Who shall dwell on your holy hill? Who shall sojourn in your tent? This is just another way of asking “Lord, what does a righteous person look like? What kind of people are citizens of your kingdom? Lord, who is a Christian?”
Here’s the answer:

  • He who does what is right
  • He who speaks truth in his heart
  • He who does not slander or do evil to a neighbor
  • He who is not a reviler (reproacher)

And there is more:

  • He who despises a vile person. That’s right! Despises
  • He who gives honor to people who truly fear the Lord
  • He who swears to his own hurt (ie, who keeps his word)
  • He who gives rather than takes

Now, I want all of us to ask this question: Is an abuser a Christian? Is an abuser the kind of person the Lord is going to welcome into His presence?  The answer is obvious – of course not. In fact, an abuser is the kind of person a genuine Christian despises. Christ’s true people do not embrace such a wicked one and sit next to him in the worship service.

Psa 1:1  Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers;

So there you have it. Question is answered. No, abusers are not Christians. They do not know the Lord. And He does not know them. In fact, with a bit more thought you will see that the wicked characteristics and actions described by the Psalmist are the very evils your abuser practices.


For more Scriptures see the top menu bar under the tab ScripturesScriptures that Demonstrate that an Abuser is not a Christian.


She Came to her Own, But They did not Receive Her


There Really is a New World Coming – and that is where your real life is


  1. Notlongnow

    Thank you for this scripture. This lays it out in detail.

  2. Stormy

    Thank you after years of confusion and reading and re-reading your scriptural input I’m still flabbergasted by the wolf in sheep’s clothing fakery. A real christian can’t comprehend the evil. I’m a real christian hence my lack of understanding how someone can do this to s as mother human. This is a mark of a true Christian. Praise God I can’t get it. But I’m wiser for your input and your insight shared with us brings us peace and clarity. Thank you a million times over. God bless you.

  3. Krikit

    Indeed! The “church” needs to STOP protecting EVIL…stop “praying” for evil’s benefit, and discern the spiritual *need* to DESPISE it!

  4. My ex-husband is a minister at big church comprised of 3 congregations (Cantonese, Mandarin, and English). Last Sunday’s offering alone was over $51,000. A huge amount considering how small the church was when he first started working there.
    Tomorrow my oldest sun is getting married there. Either my ex-husband and/or my father will perform the ceremony. I am not allowed to come. And no one of the hundreds of church members who know me well will even say a word. The impression will be given that I did not want to come, though all the staff have known for years why I left. But they are “neutral”. I hate this ‘neutrality’ so much. Since when are Christians supposed to be neutral? And neutral in such a way that it benefits the one in power, not the abused?

    • Jeff Crippen

      Starlight – I am very sorry that you are not allowed at your own son’s wedding. It is a wicked tactic of continuing abuse. Your ex may be a pastor in that “church” but he is no pastor in the Lord’s sight. He is a hypocrite and promotes a fleshly counterfeit religion in the name of Christ which is blasphemy. How do I know? Because the true preaching of God’s Word by a true pastor sent by the Lord is not going to produce the numbers and wealth that you are seeing there. I just preached yesterday on the subject of the church as the remnant and demonstrated from Scripture that all through biblical history and church history the real church is a remnant, a scrap, a fragment and a leftover.
      The position of all those people is presented as neutral. But it is anything but. They are in fact allies of evil. Birds of a feather. There is probably hardly a truly regenerate person in the bunch. All the false shepherds there will give account before the Lord for their evil doings.

      • Thank you very much for your words. I agree totally. It is more about who is who, than God’s truth. Once the pastors start to follow the path of money and recognition, they loose their vision and have to protect their own at all costs.

    • Stormy

      Starlight—I’m so sorry for your suffering. My prayers are with you. May justice come quickly and may you be comforted and be at peace while you wait to see justice. We are all waiting and praying for justice together. You are not alone.

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