“It is too great arrogancy for any man or church to think that he or they have so sounded the Word of God to its bottom, as precisely to set down the church’s discipline without error in substance or circumstances, and to insist that no one may digress or differ in any thing from [one’s own position]. It is not difficult to show that the Reformed Churches differ in many circumstances among themselves.”
Governor William Bradford, Plymouth Colony
This quotation comes from that Godly governor way back in the days of the Pilgrims, William Bradford. He wrote this in response to a controversy among the colonists at Plymouth when a division arose over the question of what exact positions on certain secondary topics a person must hold to be admitted as a member of their churches.
You can see Bradford’s wisdom in this, and his humility. His point was that it is incredible arrogance for church leaders or members to insist that they alone have “sounded” the depths of the Word of God on a point which true Christians differ, and who then demand that everyone else be subject to their opinion.
There has been tremendous damage in our churches and great harm effected upon the innocent when one church or one pastor or one board of elders insist, for insist, that they and they alone hold the “biblical” position on the reasons for divorce. We see this utter arrogance for instance in church leaders who enforce “divorce for no reason ever” and insist that this is God’s command. Abuse victims are left to suffer. Or you have others who insist that they have arrived at truth in teaching and enforcing adultery as the only reason for divorce, abuse not being a reason.
Now, think about this carefully. As Bradford noted, is it not true that genuine Christians, that real churches, differ on this subject? Certainly all real Christians are unanimous in confessing the deity of Christ, or the doctrine of justification by faith alone, or the virgin birth, or the inspiration of the Bible. We know these truths to be truth and rightly insist that no digression from these doctrines is permissible. But are topics such as the reasons for divorce held with the same kind of unanimity among Christians? Of course not.
Therefore you can see that a person who insists that they have come to the one and only biblical position on this topic of divorce, and who then enforce that decision upon others even to the point of ex-communicating those who differ, are sinfully and grossly arrogant.
Certainly all who are genuinely in Christ realize that there is such a thing as sinful divorce. Domestic abusers are guilty of this, even when they prohibit their victim from leaving the marriage. Abusers break the marriage covenant, destroy the marriage, and are the ones Malachi speaks against – it is these whom the Lord hates. But to announce to all that “we” have arrived at the only true position on divorce, to insist that no divorce is permitted by God, or that domestic abuse is not in the list of reasons and demand that everyone abide by our conclusions, is wicked arrogance.
Think again on this carefully. Do true churches, pastors, elders, theologians, differ on their conclusions regarding biblical justification for divorce? Of course. No one can deny that. Therefore what can we conclude about a pastor or even individual Christian who proclaims that he or she holds the only true, biblical position on this matter? I can tell you. We can conclude that such a person is guilty of hurtful, harmful, enslaving arrogance. And I will go further. We can conclude that such a person’s entire ministry is called into question because the arrogance which they evidence in this one matter certainly will infect all of their teaching.
Denise
Amen!
Monica
Wow! Amen to this! Spot on!
Thank you for revealing truth and helping those that have been stuck in bondage from a church leader or fellow Christian. I cringe when I see this mindset and the people it enslaves. I pray that more pastors will have an open heart and mind to what the bible as a whole says instead of cherry picking scripture and not rightly dividing the passages that deal with “covenant ” marraige. Once an abuser abuses irregardless of how it’s done that covenant is broken. Jesus would never abuse His bride…He made the ultimate sacrifice for her…and an abuser takes not gives.
Blessings, Monica
Jeff Crippen
Thank you Monica. It really riles me when I see, for example, pastors who have sold themselves as having “the final answer” expound on this subject and present their conclusions as absolute truth which only fools or sinners would disagree with. Once I see this arrogance in someone, I know that I am done listening to them. I mean, in connection with this subject of divorce, just think about it – when a pastor and his church declare that there is never any justification for divorce and that it is always sin to divorce, they are announcing that they will ex-communicate anyone who divorces for any reason. Ex-communicate. If you look at 1 Cor 5, you will see that what this means is “handing the person over to Satan for the destruction of his/her flesh.” So what people like Voddie Baucham (who is soooo popular in the churches) are saying is that if anyone in their church is an abuse victim and divorces for that abuse, Baucham and his church will hand them over to Satan and put them out. That is the mark of a bully. Total arrogance and an abuse of the flock.
Monica
Yes! I agree with you whole heartedly. I do believe God is actively rescuing people in this situation. After attending a women’s bible study at a different church (I just felt led to), three women escaped that church with that mindset at play. They were told they couldn’t remarry until their living ex spouse died and if they did marry they’d be living in sin and choosing to go against God’s will. These women got divorced from abusive narcissists…yet this church’s leadership wont acknowledge abuse as a reason to be set free. I’m so glad they escaped and are learning God’s word and what it truly says about divorce because of abuse and are no longer in bondage to a human that has a misunderstanding of scripture. My heart aches for women to be stuck in a situation because their pastor thinks he has the scripture right when in reality he has it all wrong.
Em
Thank you! This explains so clearly!
Legalism is not the Gospel, it is arrogance and it is enslaving, hurtful, it drives people apart, and it kills. I think we need to be more understanding and compassionate with each other. You have said that before, too.
I was raised in an abusive home by a covert grandiose narcissist father who “knew everything” and a wonderful mother who didn’t know better. She is with Jesus now, he is not.