But a man named Ananias, with his wife Sapphira, sold a piece of property, and with his wife’s knowledge he kept back for himself some of the proceeds and brought only a part of it and laid it at the apostles’ feet. (Acts 5:1-2)
I want to warn everyone about a rather common trap – the trap this woman named Sapphira fell into. At the start, I need to be very clear about what I do NOT mean. I am not talking about a domestic abuse victim, for instance, who is still in a marriage which is no marriage. Getting free, as we all know, is not generally very easy. It often is a complicated matter and sometimes, at least for the present, getting free of an abuser just isn’t possible. Children, economic issues, a place to live – all these factors and more enter into the picture.
But the kind of person (we will say a “wife” though this can also be a trap a man married to a narcissist can be snared by)…the kind of person I want to write about here is the wife who chooses to stay with the wicked man and to even participate with him, defend him, enable him, in his evil deeds.
I have seen t his very scenario a number of times. A wife, knowing full well what her husband is, nevertheless chooses to not just remain with him, but to become an accomplice in his sins and crimes. Sapphria, you see. She had full knowledge of what her husband was doing and she chose to participate in it. And Peter said to her, “Tell me whether you sold the land for so much.” And she said, “Yes, for so much.” Guilty.
You do not want to be a Sapphira. Not for money, not for security, not for image and reputation. Sapphira’s sin was that of taking active participation in her husband’s evil. It is the sin of knowing your spouse is a RASN (reviler, abuser, sociopath, narcissist) and yet choosing his/her side. A victim becoming an ally. In the cases which I have seen personally, there seemed to be a specific “tipping point” at which the victim morphed into the abuser’s ally. The change was dramatic, happening literally in a moment of time. It is a kind of treason – to choose the enemy side and stand with evil.
That is what Sapphira did. In doing so, she incurred God’s wrath and judgment and ended in the same pit as her husband. Be courageous! Stand for Christ no matter the cost. Sapphira’s way is Broadway and it ends in hell.
At some point…..
Absolutely incredible summary Pastor Crippen! This has been a point of such pain, the Bible belt belittles the spouse that leaves and idolizes the one that stays – and stays and stays…. worse, more so the one that coddles the poor abuser, after all there is a “disease” the narcissist has… Then over and over and over they overstay, and risk falling prey to this completely destructive story of allyship and covering for the abuser….. There is a point, maybe years later, but there is a point when you leave…. if you can’t do it physically, you do in every other way. Oh the tears and anguish over something so clear….. at some point…. staying is overstaying…..
Jeff Crippen
You nailed it!
Cordelia
Keep this note*** in mind as you read the abuser X’s attempt to get me to support his counterfeit life.
***I discovered he planned the divorce 5 years prior to having me served.
One year [***during the 5 years] the homeschool group leaders (husband & wife) put out a prayer request for new leadership to be raised up [I homeschooled the children, abuser X did not contribute at all to their education]. When abuser X read this in the group newsletter he turns to me [in front of the children] and says, “How about we volunteer for the position?!” I said, “Are you kidding me?!; with all the turmoil you’ve created in this home and the nasty way you treat me, you want to parade in front of many godly families and pretend you’re one of them?! I will have NOTHING to do with that!
He wanted to promote the idea that he was a great husband & father in order to add to his repertoire of fake Christianity so no one would believe me that he is an abuser. Think how well it would played out in divorce court for him —‘Well Mrs. G, if he’s such a horrible person, why did you want to serve with him in a very important leadership position?!’
His attempt to deceive was in full swing during our entire marriage; he was in overdrive the last 5 years.