You have heard this kind of teaching so many times, I am sure:
God loves you no matter who you are or what you have done. God loves everyone. You need to do the same thing. If your spouse is abusive to you, if they have committed adultery on you, no matter. You need to love them and that means staying in the marriage.
I don’t know why this trash teaching is so common and popular. I suppose it is the same mentality that the Corinthians had toward that incestuous man in their church. They were arrogant about how loving they were, how they were like God, how everyone was welcome in their church.” Paul blasted them for it. He told them they should be grief-stricken that such sin was among them and he told them to put the man out and not even to eat with such a person.
Does that sound like “we must be like God and love everyone no matter what they have done”? I don’t think so. It is a wicked sin of pride by which people regard themselves as more Christian than Jesus!
Guess what? God does NOT love everyone! If you need biblical proof, you can find it in this series of video messages I put on Youtube, Does God Love Everyone? We are NOT being like God when we never separate from people who claim to be Christians but live in unrepentant sin. And we are NOT being like God when we remain bound to a person who has broken and destroyed a marriage covenant.
A related note: You do not need the permission of your pastor or church in order to divorce a spouse who has destroyed your marriage covenant by abuse or adultery or some other evil. No where in the Bible will you find that such permission is required. What you will find is that if there is a person in a local church who through sin such as adultery or abuse, has destroyed the marriage covenant, then that is the person whom the church has authority to discipline and even put them out of the church.
Sarah
Thank you for sharing this!
Z
Yes! Yes! Yes!
This false teaching nearly ruined my life! Nearly got me and my husband killed.
The “We must love as God loves” AND “We must forgive as God forgives”. This kept me in a now ex-family of nonstop abuses since I was born into that evil.
I always would question the false teachers within the cult/clan of fake Christian relatives and family friends who knew of the abuses, “But, if GOD,
Who IS LOVE, requires us to admit our sin condition and repent TRULY FROM THE HEART and turn away from their sins (and not just mouth the words in order to have access again to the victim to abuse them some more!) then how as mere humans are we expected to forgive wicked, unrepentant, habitual, arrogant, unsafe sinners?” The answer always was, “We HAVE to forgive EVERYONE!”
Same with loving EVERYONE. I was always honest in feeling that I could not manufacture love towards the evil people (both my ex-parents and later siblings too) abusing me in every way all my life. And over time, knowing more and more about God’s character, I didn’t think He loved them either. But I was not educated in the Scriptures addressing these things clearly until Pastor Crippen’s teachings on them. Leading to FREEDOM!!
And I recently watched a video about abusers and narcissists and the false DEMAND that we immediately show them forgiveness. Whether they are repentant or not. Safe or still dangerous-doesn’t matter. Well, it matters TO GOD! I am HIS BELOVED CHILD. They are not! So this demand from pastors or church people and even Christian counselors or “trauma experts”…that FIRST we MUST FORGIVE OUR DEMONIC TORMENTORS who obviously have willingly allied with satan to destroy God’s children, BEFORE we can expect to heal and recover is so FALSE!
God is much more concerned with MY RECOVERY AND HEALING as His TRUE child than He is with my forgiveness of satan’s children! I know this in my spirit because I know my Father God’s heart. His focus is on ME. Carrying me and leading me gently to healing. Jesus felt EVERY lash and punch and kick and hateful word inflicted on me. Jesus has walked with me every step of my healing journey. His concern is with my well-being. Not with the wicked ones getting my forgiveness. Just like church leaders and congregants all asked me FIRST-after a final violent attack by my abusers that led to No Contact-“Have you forgiven them?” No questions about me or my husband who were viciously and criminally attacked and he was badly injured!
Once again it was as if the wolves are more important than Jesus’ true sheep to these false Christians.
Of course I have given my abusers as well as all the betrayers who ran to the sides of my abusers once again and everything they all did over to Jesus so I don’t have to carry that burden anymore by myself. And I do not live in bitterness or rage or seek my own vengeance. But only because I know God will have the final judgment on them and He will get justice and vengeance for me better than I can.
We are told in Scripture we can feel anger. It is not a sin. But we are warned not to sin because of that anger. Jesus felt anger and he expressed it without sinning. He exposed the wicked ones and reproached them harshly. Not sin!
This false focus on “blanket” love for everyone and forgiveness for everyone has done so much harm to victims! And that isn’t from the Lord. He would never put such a guilt trip burden on already suffering victims of wicked people. He would never put us in more danger of these wolves. He is our Protector. Our Healer. Our Righteousness and Justice-seeking Lord.
It’s just amazing and sad though how widespread this false teaching is and how it is taken as “truth” by the majority in the so-called church.
Thank you, Pastor for your truths and Scripture-based teachings on this very important burdensome issue for victims.
Sandra
Amen!