“It is too great arrogancy for any man or church to think that he or they have so sounded the Word of God to its bottom, as precisely to set down the church’s discipline without error in substance or circumstances, and to insist that no one may digress or differ in any thing from [one’s own position]. It is not difficult to show that the Reformed Churches differ in many circumstances among themselves.”
Governor William Bradford, Plymouth Colony
This quotation comes from that Godly governor way back in the days of the Pilgrims, William Bradford. He wrote this in response to a controversy among the colonists at Plymouth when a division arose over the question of what exact positions on certain secondary topics a person must hold to be admitted as a member of their churches.
You can see Bradford’s wisdom in this, and his humility. His point was that it is incredible arrogance for church leaders or members to insist that they alone have “sounded” the depths of the Word of God on a point which true Christians differ, and who then demand that everyone else be subject to their opinion.
There has been tremendous damage in our churches and great harm effected upon the innocent when one church or one pastor or one board of elders insist, for insist, that they and they alone hold the “biblical” position on the reasons for divorce. We see this utter arrogance for instance in church leaders who enforce “divorce for no reason ever” and insist that this is God’s command. Abuse victims are left to suffer. Or you have others who insist that they have arrived at truth in teaching and enforcing adultery as the only reason for divorce, abuse not being a reason.
Now, think about this carefully. As Bradford noted, is it not true that genuine Christians, that real churches, differ on this subject? Certainly all real Christians are unanimous in confessing the deity of Christ, or the doctrine of justification by faith alone, or the virgin birth, or the inspiration of the Bible. We know these truths to be truth and rightly insist that no digression from these doctrines is permissible. But are topics such as the reasons for divorce held with the same kind of unanimity among Christians? Of course not.
Therefore you can see that a person who insists that they have come to the one and only biblical position on this topic of divorce, and who then enforce that decision upon others even to the point of ex-communicating those who differ, are sinfully and grossly arrogant.
Certainly all who are genuinely in Christ realize that there is such a thing as sinful divorce. Domestic abusers are guilty of this, even when they prohibit their victim from leaving the marriage. Abusers break the marriage covenant, destroy the marriage, and are the ones Malachi speaks against – it is these whom the Lord hates. But to announce to all that “we” have arrived at the only true position on divorce, to insist that no divorce is permitted by God, or that domestic abuse is not in the list of reasons and demand that everyone abide by our conclusions, is wicked arrogance.
Think again on this carefully. Do true churches, pastors, elders, theologians, differ on their conclusions regarding biblical justification for divorce? Of course. No one can deny that. Therefore what can we conclude about a pastor or even individual Christian who proclaims that he or she holds the only true, biblical position on this matter? I can tell you. We can conclude that such a person is guilty of hurtful, harmful, enslaving arrogance. And I will go further. We can conclude that such a person’s entire ministry is called into question because the arrogance which they evidence in this one matter certainly will infect all of their teaching.
Denise
Amen!
Monica
Wow! Amen to this! Spot on!
Thank you for revealing truth and helping those that have been stuck in bondage from a church leader or fellow Christian. I cringe when I see this mindset and the people it enslaves. I pray that more pastors will have an open heart and mind to what the bible as a whole says instead of cherry picking scripture and not rightly dividing the passages that deal with “covenant ” marraige. Once an abuser abuses irregardless of how it’s done that covenant is broken. Jesus would never abuse His bride…He made the ultimate sacrifice for her…and an abuser takes not gives.
Blessings, Monica
Jeff Crippen
Thank you Monica. It really riles me when I see, for example, pastors who have sold themselves as having “the final answer” expound on this subject and present their conclusions as absolute truth which only fools or sinners would disagree with. Once I see this arrogance in someone, I know that I am done listening to them. I mean, in connection with this subject of divorce, just think about it – when a pastor and his church declare that there is never any justification for divorce and that it is always sin to divorce, they are announcing that they will ex-communicate anyone who divorces for any reason. Ex-communicate. If you look at 1 Cor 5, you will see that what this means is “handing the person over to Satan for the destruction of his/her flesh.” So what people like Voddie Baucham (who is soooo popular in the churches) are saying is that if anyone in their church is an abuse victim and divorces for that abuse, Baucham and his church will hand them over to Satan and put them out. That is the mark of a bully. Total arrogance and an abuse of the flock.
Monica
Yes! I agree with you whole heartedly. I do believe God is actively rescuing people in this situation. After attending a women’s bible study at a different church (I just felt led to), three women escaped that church with that mindset at play. They were told they couldn’t remarry until their living ex spouse died and if they did marry they’d be living in sin and choosing to go against God’s will. These women got divorced from abusive narcissists…yet this church’s leadership wont acknowledge abuse as a reason to be set free. I’m so glad they escaped and are learning God’s word and what it truly says about divorce because of abuse and are no longer in bondage to a human that has a misunderstanding of scripture. My heart aches for women to be stuck in a situation because their pastor thinks he has the scripture right when in reality he has it all wrong.
Em
Thank you! This explains so clearly!
Legalism is not the Gospel, it is arrogance and it is enslaving, hurtful, it drives people apart, and it kills. I think we need to be more understanding and compassionate with each other. You have said that before, too.
I was raised in an abusive home by a covert grandiose narcissist father who “knew everything” and a wonderful mother who didn’t know better. She is with Jesus now, he is not.
Lynn
Too many professing Christians believe that their interpretation of scripture is inerrant, not the scripture itself. They make idols out of marriage, divorce, and the roles women are to play in the church because it grants them the power and control their hearts crave. They see the Bible as the ultimate tool to get them what they want – someone who they can rule over with impunity.
Two people can divorce, with one being in sin (the abusing spouse), and the other not be in sin (the victim). Two people can divorce and both are in sin if the divorce is done on unlawful grounds.
Christ’s highest calling for his people is to live, breathe, walk, and share his freedom with those around us every day until we are reunited with him in eternity. We must remember that Christ is the savior, not us. We are sent as messengers to the lost so that the elect can hear the good news, repent of their sins, and be reconciled to Christ. Only the Holy Spirit can regenerate one dead in their sins. So let us live a life worthy of our calling, that brings honor to God and shines a light in the darkness.
While I can admit that those who hold to a complementarian view of marriage may still be Christians, I’ve seen too much abuse in complementarian circles to believe that it is God’s best for human flourishing. Too much of the complementarian fruit that comes out of Reformed churches is rotten to convince me that it’s God’s best for marriage.
God’s redemption plan is to bring us back to the garden of Eden, free from sin, where we are co-heirs, equal in worth and value before God. He wants us to be set free from the bondage of sin, death, and the grave. Where the curses of Genesis 3 are removed and all is right with creation. No more men ruling over women. No more painful and dangerous childbirths. No more land yielding only thorns and thistles. The new heaven and new earth won’t be made up of men’s fantasies of living a life of leisure while the womenfolk do all the “work” to keep everything running smoothly. It will be a place of rest, peace, healing, and celebration for both sexes. The physical and emotional wounds that life has scarred us with will be removed and replaced with joy. Any work we do will be bliss, not drudgery.
So hold fast to the faith. Persevere till the end, and you will receive a crown of life and hear Jesus say, “Come you who are blessed by my father. Take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.”
For who the son sets free is free indeed. Go. Be free.
Jeff Crippen
Lynn – Right on! Thank you!
lg
Thank You, Lynn — I really like Lynn’s point: “Too many professing Christians believe that their interpretation of scripture is inerrant, not the scripture itself.”
This reminds me of the Indian parable “The Blindmen and the Elephant” — made into a poem by John Godfrey Saxe which has been illustrated into several children’s books.
“The Blindmen and the Elephant” is a story of a group of blind men who have never come across an elephant before and who learn and imagine what the elephant is like by touching it. Each blind man feels a different part of the animal’s body, but only one part, such as the side or the tusk. They then describe the animal based on their limited experience and their descriptions of the elephant are different from each other. In some versions, they come to suspect that the other person is dishonest and they come to blows. The moral of the parable is that humans have a tendency to claim absolute truth based on their limited, subjective experience as they ignore other people’s limited, subjective experiences which may be equally true.