Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

It’s Always a Clean Slate for the RASN

And this second thing you do. You cover the LORD’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. (Malachi 2:13)

I have written on this subject before but it is such a prevalent tactic of the RASN (reviler, abuser, sociopath, narcissist) that it bears repeating often.

Anyone who has experienced the abuse meted out by a RASN knows that we could make quite a long list of the sins and evils the RASN is guilty of. No empathy. Projection. Gaslighting. Minimizing. And on the list could go. Their slate of sins is lengthy.

However, when a RASN accuses their victim of one supposed wrong done to the RASN, suddenly it is as if the RASN’s list of crimes was one of those old “etch-a-sketch” toys that you just shake and all the writing goes away. Magic. In other words, the victim is required to regard the RASN’s slate as clean. Nothing on it is to be brought up. The ONLY “crime” to be considered is the one thing the victim is being accused of. That is to say, RASNs don’t admit to any guilt or wrongdoing. It is always the victim’s fault.

The RASN, having appointed himself judge and jury, regards himself as the arbiter who has the right to define what is going to be discussed in his courtroom and what is not admissible. Another way of describing this evil business is that RASNs, as they exercise illegal power and control, are a law unto themselves. They can do whatever they want to do and they insist that they are justified in doing so.

One way to see that you are being abused in this manner is to ask yourself, “am I always the one who is wrong?” “Is it always my fault?” Because this is a mark of a toxic relationship. It’s always your fault. Now, we are none of us perfect, but the probability that in every single scenario WE are the ones who are wrong, is pretty slim. I recommend ending any relationship, if possible, in which “it” is always your fault.


Don’t be Trapped by Perpetual Victimhood


Flattery and Popularity – Two Warning Signs of a RASN**

1 Comment

  1. Tracey

    Yes! I finally caught on to that one. Was it always my fault? In their world it was. I no longer have a relationship with that person. Spot on sir.


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