Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

The Best Way I Can Help You

Heb 5:13-14 for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. (14) But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.

When we interact with and do what we can to help victims of RASNs (revilers, abusers, sociopaths, narcissists), the task can be overwhelming. If we were fabulously wealthy, we could provide the much-needed economic assistant. We could hire teams of attorneys. We could construct safe shelter homes with security. But we aren’t. And we can’t.

What we can do, for starters, is listen. Believe. Validate. And we can work to educate people about (as the verses above say) evil. Its tactics. Its mentality. How it disguises itself. I mean, why do we need to have, as Scripture says, powers of discernment trained if evil worked out in the open, plain for all to see? Because it doesn’t work that way. It lies, it deceives, it counterfeits. It is of the kingdom of darkness.

But how do we train for this? How do we help people practice so that they are able to see through all this fog? Well, it is at this point where the most essential thing is often skipped over. It is the word of righteousness. This is something money cannot buy. What is it? This word of righteousness? And how do we become skilled in it? Apparently this is the thing which empowers and enables us all to see what the enemy is and how he is working.

Well, the word of righteousness is the Word of God. It is, as this same Apostle to the Hebrews says:

Heb 4:12 For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

And again –

Eph 6:17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God,

Every week I do five things online, in addition to writing this and one other blog. I teach and preach the Word of God five times:

  • Ephesians Study (Livestream Wednesday morning 7AM)
  • Revelation Study (Livestream Thursday morning 7AM)
  • Romans Study (No set Livestream time but uploaded weekly)
  • Sunday morning class (currently on the subject of heaven) – (Livestream 9:40AM Sundays)
  • Sunday morning sermon – (Livestream Sunday morning, 11AM)

Why? Because the very best thing I can do for you all is to give you the Word of God. To teach and preach God’s truth in the Scriptures. This is the thing we need more than anything else:

Joh 8:31-32 So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, (32) and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

There are many, many people who have been or still are targets of RASNs. As most of you know all too well, these wicked ones so often hide disguised as the most eminent saints in local churches. They are believed and they are successful in their demonic work. How is this darkness to be exposed? By the light of the Word of God. How are the victims to be strengthened and given the Lord’s wisdom? By constant training in the Word of God.

We can find some help from human resources. We can learn about narcissists. We can learn about the mentality and tactics of the domestic abuser. We can learn ways to help us navigate the labyrinth of the court system. We can be helped by learning about the effects of abuse like CPTSD, shame, confusion and so on.

But Jesus said that it is in knowing His truth that we will truly be set free. It is soooo easy to become wrapped up in the world of abuse recovery that we neglect the one thing that is needful – Christ and His Word. Getting free from our own fallen self, learning that we must be born again in Christ, learning to grow and live in Him, learning know Him. We often don’t make the connection. But it is knowing Christ by knowing and growing in His Word where we find real freedom and healing. The trick nowadays of course is to be able to find Christ and His Word. Sadly, as so many of you know, there is no guarantee that these will be found in just any local church.

So I invite you to come along with me in this teaching and preaching of the word of righteousness. This is the very best thing I can do for you – and for myself. You can find all the videos of these 5 series on sermonaudio.com/crc and on our Youtube channel – Light for Dark Times (you might need to tack my name onto that title in your Youtube search to get to the right place). And each of these sessions is livestreamed on both the sermon audio channel and on our Light for Dark Times Facebook page.


Why does Cain keep Killing Abel?


Sharing the Load


  1. Sarah

    Thank you!

  2. Jeff, thanks for laboring so tirelessly on behalf of others. I belive you are taking up some of the slack (repairing the damage) left by those horrible shepherds in Exekiel chapter 34. Keep more of that Word of Righteousness coming our way!

    Steve Nelson – Boise


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