Gen 4:8 Cain spoke to Abel his brother. And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel and killed him.
Do you suppose that Abel thought Cain loved him? I mean, they were brothers. Abel was a righteous man, Cain was not (that is the reason he killed Abel). But I wonder – could it have been that Abel did not really understand the hatred his brother had for him?
Mothers love their children. Fathers love their children. Husbands love their wives. Close friends love one another. Unless, of course, one is a narcissist or a sociopath. In those cases, the “love” is just a sham. A deception utilized as a tool to use the target.
Did you think that your domestic abuser spouse loved you when you were first married? I suppose you did – I mean, generally why else would anyone marry someone, right? And did you once think that your narcissist parent loved you? Or that “good” friend who turned out to be one of our RASN categories?
My point is this – at some time it dawned on you that the love was a mask. It took you, most likely, a long, long time for you to see through that mask and even though it slipped numbers of times, you still clung to the notion that this person loved you.
But then there comes that time – and it is a really hard pill to swallow. A realization that is very, very difficult to wrap your mind around. In fact, it turns out, this spouse/parent/friend did not love you at all. They actually, you began to realize, regarded you with contempt. In their eyes you were stupid, beneath them, just an errand boy/girl to be used.
You saw glimpses of this – subtle smirks, cutting words, not-so-funny insults, but you just didn’t realize the true state of affairs. When you did, when the lights went on, when you finally understood that this person was in fact incapable of love, how did you feel? All those years – apparently they meant nothing and could be as easily discarded by the RASN as a if they never happened at all.
This kind of reality is very painful – and that pain doesn’t dissipate quickly. One day it will be gone though. The pains of this life will be swept away forever when the Lord Jesus Christ returns and takes us home. Crying, pain, tears, hurtful memories, trauma – all gone.