Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Worse than an Unbeliever

1Ti 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Would you say that you know unsaved people who are kind and generous to their spouse and children? People who work hard and provide for their family. People who are honest and who evidence a sense of right and wrong? I think that we all know such people – a few at least.

Now, unless they come to faith in Christ and acknowledge that all of their “good” works will not help them on the Day when Christ comes to judge the world, unless they are born again, they are going to perish in their sins. They will end in hell. Behind every “good” work man does, there is sin as long as they reject Christ.


Did you know that there are people who claim to be Christians whose portion in hell is going to be significantly hotter than the man or woman who provided for their family? You see it to be true, from Paul’s words above. A person who will not provide for their family is worse than an unbeliever. To claim to be a Christian and yet abuse your family is a far greater sin than the “moral” unsaved person’s. And, of course, the “christian” who abuses his family has in practice “denied the faith,” as Paul puts it. He/she is, in fact, not a Christian at all.

It is, therefore, very probable that the “christian” abuser (who is hiding within the visible church), arouses far more of God’s wrath than the sinner who is outside the visible church, making no claim to religion at all.

There are many of these kind sitting in pews on Sundays, filling church membership rolls, reciting the creeds, and maybe even standing in the pulpit. Not just a few. Many.


Why Don’t You Just Work things Out?


You need to see this great video by Dr. Les Carter


  1. I’ve always loved this scripture because it puts the self- righteous hypocrite on notice. “You’re worse than an unbeliever.” And “provide for” obviously has a financial connotation associated with it, but couldn’t it also mean provide safety? Provide comfort? Provide well being? All of those things an abuser robs from his family with his evil actions.

  2. Saddened

    This verse always has special meaning for those of us domestic abuse survivors whose supposedly “Christian” ex-husbands would rather give every cent of marital assets to greedy lawyers to make sure their abused wife leaves with nothing. In my case, my violent controlling husband spent close to $400,000 making sure I left with nothing except debts. He kept everything in his name and in the five years I waited for a hearing he squandered every cent of the marital assets that he could liquidate on his dishonest lawyer (while I was forced to try to represent myself and try to rescue my child without access to any lawyer as pro bono lawyers aren’t really a thing where I live). As a result, I have nothing except poverty and debt, and while he kept our home, he is left with debts equal to the value of the home. This is in circumstances where I was offering 50/50 custody and a 70/30 split (in his favour) of our marital property, just to be free of the abuse from him through the legal system. But in his obsession with revenge and taking everything, his lawyer now owns “everything”. The only other factor is he has a very well paid job and I can’t work due to the serious injuries he did to me. Which means, I am likely to be homeless in the next month or two as my ability to borrow money from family (who are impoverished too) has run out. I have no income, I can’t even get welfare until I can afford thousands of dollars for specialists to write medical reports, and even then, welfare doesn’t even cover the rent for a rundown one bedroom apartment in my city and if I leave the city, my ex automatically gets sole custody of my child.
    My ex is well aware of my financial situation – we discussed it many times while we were married that I only stayed after the beatings because I couldn’t afford to leave and child protection here takes children from homeless mothers and gives them back to violent fathers. Separating was HIS idea to punish me for trying to report his violence to the police, knowing he could get away with taking the house and kids. He relishes in the fact that within weeks I’ll be living on the streets. He lied in family court about our assets and debts and contributions to ensure this outcome.
    And yet still calls himself a “Christian”. Men who throw out their wives without a biblical reason and they (the man) keep all the marital assets while leaving the woman unable to work and without spousal support, is no Christian at all. They are infinitely worse than an unbeliever abs it’s about time churches started calling them out on it.

    • Noka

      So heartbreaking you’re going through this. These men are insanely evil. Utterly despicable and demonic. I have no words 🙁


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