Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

The Lord is For His People

Rom 8:31-39 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? (32) He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? (33) Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. (34) Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. (35) Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? (36) As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” (37) No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. (38) For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, (39) nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

This present world is enemy territory. Christ’s people are in exile. We are in Babylon, but…there is a great final Exodus coming. We will never see Pharaoh and his chariots ever again. Christ our King is coming.

The Apostle Paul in the scripture above describes our experience in this world whose god is Satan. Christ’s flock is falsely accused, persecuted, in danger, exposed for their faith to famine…sheep to be slaughtered. It is the very same path Jesus walked when He was in this place.

But…no matter what weapons the enemy fires against us, we win. We are victors. Why? Because our King is Victor. Paul emphasizes the great truth that God in Christ loves us forever. This is the thing we must learn from this passage. God loves His people. If I am in Christ, the Father loves me.

Furthermore, this divine fatherly love can never cease. It is impossible. Nothing can separate us from it. This is the thing we must believe. No matter what suffering comes at you, no matter how intensely we are hated, no matter how painful the circumstances we experience, none of it means that God does not love us anymore. Nothing, nothing, nothing can separate us from the love of God.

And because God loves us, He is going to carry us through to the end, and it is a glorious end. Nothing can stop it. He is going to bring us safely home. And what a home it is! Eden restored and even surpassed!

Job was the most godly man in the world in his day. Yet consider the great loss and suffering that came to him. We know why this happened – God would be glorified and Satan would be humiliated. Job didn’t know. He did not have the “behind the scenes” glimpse that we are given in the opening chapters of the book. But Job knew something. He knew that God loved him and he held on to that truth. It carried him through. He had all those “friends” telling him that God didn’t love him, that God was punishing him for some wrong he had done. But it wasn’t true at all. God wasn’t punishing him. Job did in fact learn some things in that fire. He learned more about God and he learned that he needed to learn some things God taught him in it. He was, we would say, sanctified through suffering.

If a righteous man like Job suffered in this world, if God loved him unceasingly through it all, if in the end it was for God’s glory, Satan’s defeat, and Job’s growth in holiness, then surely we must not be surprised when the Lord permits suffering to come our way. It IS suffering. It DOES hurt and it is grievous. But it is the path our Lord walked in this world and it is always for our good and for God’s glory, and it always ends in victory.

These are the truths we must cling to in the midst of trials. That is to say, we must believe God’s Word which says He loves us now and forever and in all circumstances if we are in Christ.

1Jn 5:4-5 For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. (5) Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?


The Elephant in the Room – Don’t You Dare Point him out


The Root of the Problem


  1. Lynn

    Pain, trials, and tribulations does not change God’s love for his people or make him unloving. They are tools he uses to sanctify his children and a way of calling humanity to repent of their sins. War, famine, natural disasters, pandemics, persecution, and abuse are heartbreaking things to experience. All are opportunities to draw us closer to God and can be a catalyst to bring about repentance.

    If you haven’t repented of your sin and been made right with God, don’t wait. The time is short. The longer you wait, the harder it becomes. Eternity is at stake.

    Injustice will be punished with perfect justice. Abuse will be punished and properly dealt with in God’s perfect timing. In Revelation, the blood of the martyrs (all of God’s children who have died unavenged), cry out to him to intervene and bring the wicked the justice their actions deserve. God promises vengeance on his enemies. He promises in scripture to punish the wicked unrepentant people who hurt his children and profane His name. Mocking God and remaining unrepentant will result in perfect justice and eternal punishment. Abusing others – especially God’s children – and remaining unrepentant will result in God’s divine, perfect justice and eternal punishment. Refusing to repent of your sin will result in eternal punishment.

    For those of you who are in the midst of a trial by a RASN, know that God sees you. He loves you, and is with you each and every step of the way. Use the imprecatory psalms to remind God of the pain and struggle you are going through as a result of the RASN. Ask for his hand to move against them by bringing the just punishments against them their actions deserve. Ask that the truth would win out and He would publicly vindicate you. Ask that any lies told about you would be revealed and that anyone who you are close to would see the truth about your RASN. Trust that God will act on your behalf in his perfect time. It may not look like how you wanted it to, but as his child, even the injustice we experience is used for our good. Look for the nuggets of wisdom that can be found in the pain of injustice you experienced because they are there, trapped in the mire of pain you’ve experienced. Journaling can help with this. I know because I’ve lived it. I’ve had to do the work. It was pretty. It wasn’t fun, but it allowed me to grow in wisdom so that I can share it with others like me who are going through similar experiences.

    Know that as painful as this time may be, it too shall pass. It is a season in your life, not your whole life. You can make it through this. It won’t be easy, but it is worth it. Do what you can to find the lessons in the midst of the pain and the struggle, and let go of the rest. Find healthy ways to process your anger. You have every right to feel angry at the injustice you’ve experienced, but don’t stay in a place of anger. It will rob you of your healing and make it harder to find joy in the midst of the trials.

    Find activities that bring you joy and make time for yourself to do them. Maybe it’s walking, hiking, baking, sewing, gardening, fishing, boating, crafting or writing. Maybe it’s something else. If you don’t know, explore some options and find what works for you.

    For me, imprecatory prayer was a lifesaver. It allowed me to express my realest, rawest feelings to God and surrender it to him. In the early days, this was an hourly thing to help me purge the desire for revenge against those who had used, abused, and mistreated me personally and professionally. Over time it’s gotten better. Making choices that allowed me to get out of the fire of chronic abuse also helped. It wasn’t an easy road. It wasn’t a fast road, but it was the right choice because I’ve been able to grow closer to God who’s helping to heal my heart each passing day. There are still struggles and healing that I need, but as I reflect on my healing journey that began nearly half a decade ago, I can say God has been good. He is good and I’m willing to keep walking with him no matter where he may lead. Who the son sets free is free indeed. Go be free knowing that God loves you, is for you, and is with you every step of the way.

  2. Janet

    A comfort for my soul this Monday morning. This is just what my troubled and weary heart needed to hear! Thank you !!

  3. This is so encouraging, Pastor! Thank you for the reminder in this evil and perverse generation that we who are in Christ are victorious!! These trials and tribulations are just for a moment in comparison to the glorious future He has waiting for His children!! Hallelujah and glory to God!! 🙏🏽

  4. Beth


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *