Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

The Fruit of Thankfulness

Col 3:15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.

Psa 100:4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name!

Rom 1:21 For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened.

This next Sunday morning I plan to preach a sermon on this subject – thankfulness. One of the basic sins of fallen human nature is UN-thankfulness, as you see in Romans 1 quoted above. You see this of course in your children. The moment all of us were born into this world, we were born in sin and we were anything but thankful. A very large part of child-raising is disciplining them to be thankful people.

The devil is not thankful. His children are not thankful. The know that they owe God thanks, but they refuse to give it. Most of you who follow this blog have had the sad experience of having to deal with some class of abuser – a narcissist, a sociopath, a reviler – and some even evidenced all 3 of these evil categories. Such people are not thankful. They are entitled and superior in their thinking. They are OWED, and everyone else should thank them for being the god-like person they insist they are.

There are few things uglier than a person who is ungrateful, unthankful, so self-absorbed that when a kindness is done for them, being thankful doesn’t even enter their minds.

In contrast, a thankful, grateful person is wonderful to know. And one of the foundational fruits which every real Christian’s branches will bear – is thanksgiving. It is inherent within the very being of the new creation. Where it is absent, Christ is absent. The root of the tree is bad.


Another Diotrephes (Named, Haman)


Vengeance is Mine (says the narcissist)


  1. Veronica Miyake

    I believe there’s something very profound about thankfulness. Jesus Himself, God incarnate, gave thanks to His Father God before he multiplied the loaves and the fishes. That’s mind boggling that the King of glory, God Himself, gave thanks!! And to me, we must have evidence that we’re thankful, or it’s just words, and words are cheap. I would tell my daughter, don’t just SAY, thank you, SHOW that you’re thankful. Zacchaeus is a good example of being grateful for the great salvation that came to his house that he said he would give half of what he owned to the poor and pay back four times the amount to the people he defrauded! That’s a demonstration of thankfulness.

    Just like there must be fruit when we’re born again, as you’re teaching about the barren fig tree, Pastor, there should be evidence that we’re thankful. My husband has a saying: “If you’re truly grateful, you will demonstrate it by making my life easier in some way.” (He doesn’t say that to me, it just came up when we’ve notice unthankfulness in people we know.) I show my gratitude for how he takes care of me by taking care of his needs, I.e. cooking dinner, doing laundry, taking care of his children (our doggies 🙂), etc. He in turn checks my car regularly to make sure it’s safe for me to drive, gets me gadgets that makes my life easier (like bumper guards that go between the seats in my car and the console so stuff doesn’t drop down there), and other things. That means so much more to me than if he bought me expensive jewelry I don’t need.

    Anyway, sorry to digress, just an example of demonstrating our thankfulness. And to the Lord, do I show my thankfulness by spending time in His word, getting to know Him, and not neglecting so great a salvation? I’m asking myself this, not pointing the finger at anyone else. Im looking forward to the teaching on Sunday, Pastor!

  2. Susan

    Speaking of thankfulness, Veronice, thank YOU for this post! It reminds me to be more thankful of all the Lord and others do on my behalf. It’s actually an area I don’t naturally excel in, but with your reminder I hope to be more aware. Thinking of the Israelites in their 40-year treck toward the Promised Land…none of them entered in and I believe that failure directly corresponded to their grumbling, unthankful hearts which ultimately showed a lack of faith.

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