Gal 4:17 They make much of you, but for no good purpose. They want to shut you out, that you may make much of them.
When you are or have been in a relationship with a narcissist/sociopath/abuser, it is quite common to have doubts. By doubts, I mean that you call into question yourself, your observations, your conclusions regarding what is really going on – is he (or she) really so bad as I have concluded? Maybe I share the blame? Doubts, you see.
Now, these doubts are quite often the result of some “sugar” your narcissist serves up to you, or has served up in the past. A kind note. A kind action. A fun outing. Sprinkled in with the sugar in varying quantities added often almost imperceptibly, is the sour lemon of reviling, abusing, accusing, and so on. It’s all that dynamic you often hear called crazy-making.
These doubts can throw us into a real spiral of false guilt. We can start questioning our own motives and actions in the relationship. If, after all, the devil were always openly what he is – evil – and never showed up as an angel of light, the thing would be far easier to analyze. But that is not how the devil operates and it is not how his wicked servants operate. They sprinkle in sugar and spice and everything nice – but it isn’t really sweet or savory or nice at all. The whole thing is an evil facade. A tactical game to gain power and control over you.
And that is what Paul was warning the Galatians about – those foolish, foolish Galatians. The false teachers, anathema to God, were using flattery for an evil purpose, persuading the people to follow them and their false gospel rather than Christ.
None of us are perfectly holy. None of us are above sinning. We have not and do not always act righteously toward others. But the truth is that even if we did, even if we were perfectly holy and always behaved in thought and deed toward evil people, they would still hate us because that is who they are. In fact, as we walk in the light of Christ more and more perfectly, growing in Him, the hatred of the devil’s servants will actually increase. Just look at Jesus and what He experienced in this world and you will see it.
There isn’t any sugar in these types of evil people. The “pleasant” times might seem sweet, but they are a deception. In truth, there are no good times with a wicked person.