Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Cold-Blooded Anger

Rom 3:13 “Their throat is an open grave; they use their tongues to deceive.” “The venom of asps is under their lips.”

You have heard the phrase many times – cold-blooded murder. He killed him in cold blood. It’s an interesting figure of speech. It means the opposite of hot-blooded, overt, outward rage that bursts out in a moment. Cold-blooded evil is far more…well, evil.

Psychopaths and sociopaths and their kindred can often be capable of raging – in cold blood. They can sound so logical, so under control. And yet they are expressing incredible anger, seeking vengeance, and at the same time convincing the gullible that they are not angry at all. The thing is extremely deceptive. Their throat really is an open grave and venom really is under their lips as they use their tongues to deceive.

There is something devilish about the ability to rage “calmly.” To pour out anger on the target without seeming to even raise their voice. And this is why we must be wise or we will surely be taken in by this kind. To use words that are like a knife in their effect and yet do so with apparent calm is just like using a literal knife to stab someone and do it with coolness. This is pure evil from the pit.

Those of you who have been targeted by the domestic abuser have in many cases experienced this very thing. It made you feel like you were the guilty one and that you deserved the words being fired out you. After all, they were coming from such a calm mouth. Right?

There is nothing more wicked than rage which is camouflaged in coolness. Those who are characterized by its use will one day find themselves bettered by the Judge of all the earth. On that Day, their mouths will be closed.


Easy-Believism Introduces Evil into the Church


The Emotional Vacuum of the Wicked


  1. Amy

    My ex, whose abuse I lived with for 20 years, would often proudly tell me how he never yelled, and he was right, he didn’t. And a pastor once told me how my ex had gotten in his face at a men’s breakfast and with a clenched jaw said he didn’t have an anger problem.

    My ex definitely had cold-blooded anger. 🙁

  2. CN

    My pastor husband had this sick talent. Cool and cold and angry projected towards me. 25 years! The church refused to hear my cries. St. Andrews Presbyterian church in Newport Beach. Ca. The head pastor was a coward and refused to even meet with me. I had emailed him my marriage issues and abuse and he refused each and every time to talk to me. These cowards will receive their consequences before God one day.

    • Jeff Crippen

      It really takes a spirit of evil to utilize this cold-blood business against someone.

      • CN

        It really is a business. My X raised 20 million dollars for St. Andrews…my belief is that gave him amd his fellow wolves their pride and protection for each other…not us sheep.

  3. Z

    This Scripture says it all so perfectly!
    Rom 3:13 “Their throat is an open grave; they use their tongues to deceive.” “The venom of asps is under their lips.”
    And, oh boy, do they deceive most people! That’s the additional layer of harm and abuse they heap on us. Their “open grave” tonged and their “venom of asps” lips turn everyone against us. As they are supported, enabled and believed by pastors, elders, longtime Christian friends, relatives who have witnessed the abuse when it did get physical and overt…That is the knife twisting after the initial plunge into our hearts. The total abandonment of the very people we’d thought loves us and knew our character. They knew we would not lie about such things. But they close their eyes and ears purposefully for many different reasons-all self-serving.
    I love your final line: “ On that Day, their mouths will be closed”! ALL OF THEM. The abusers AND all who were complicit by their “endorsement” of evil and their willful ignorance of the “bleeding, battered and needy soul” (as in the parable of the Good Samaritan) they hard heartedly and briskly walked by when they saw them on the side of the road and even crossed the street to avoid having to do WHAT THEY KNEW were the right and godly things in helping the wounded in the body of Christ. But👆🏽JESUS binds up the wounds of His broken-hearted true followers. He never fails do do it.

  4. Caitlin

    This is exactly what I dealt with.
    Thank you for putting words to this


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