Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

When You Can't Benefit Them Anymore – They are Done With You

Mic 3:5 Thus says the LORD concerning the prophets who lead my people astray, who cry “Peace” when they have something to eat, but declare war against him who puts nothing into their mouths.

You probably remember the wicked sons of Eli who took the meat of the offerings people brought – and they took it by force. Well, we have something quite similar here. The false prophets, says Micah, lead the people astray. They pronounce “peace” (a blessing) upon all who are able to give the prophet something to eat. That is to say, as long as someone is profitable and of benefit to the false prophet, that lying prophet will give them a blessing in the name of the Lord. (Very similar to the frequent practices of Rome, isn’t it?)


If someone doesn’t put something in the prophet’s mouth, that is to say, if the person is not going to pay the prophet or be in some way a benefit to the prophet, then the prophet declares war! He pronounces a curse upon the person.

Now, I don’t think that I even really need to make application of this verse to how churches and pastors and supposed Christians today typically treat victims of abuse. Oh, all is well as long as the victim keeps quiet, serves in various capacities in the church and so on. The church leaders will pronounce peace upon them and bless them. I know of many such cases – some in which the abuse victim was almost the church’s “go to” person if the pastor needed something. But then, when the victim makes known her plight and asks for help, well then – now we have a very different story. War is declared upon her. Right? We know this is no exaggeration.

So, what does the Lord say about these wicked false prophets?

Mic 3:1-4 And I said: Hear, you heads of Jacob and rulers of the house of Israel! Is it not for you to know justice?— (2) you who hate the good and love the evil, who tear the skin from off my people and their flesh from off their bones, (3) who eat the flesh of my people, and flay their skin from off them, and break their bones in pieces and chop them up like meat in a pot, like flesh in a cauldron. (4) Then they will cry to the LORD, but he will not answer them; he will hide his face from them at that time, because they have made their deeds evil.

Mic 3:9-12 Hear this, you heads of the house of Jacob and rulers of the house of Israel, who detest justice and make crooked all that is straight, (10) who build Zion with blood and Jerusalem with iniquity. (11) Its heads give judgment for a bribe; its priests teach for a price; its prophets practice divination for money; yet they lean on the LORD and say, “Is not the LORD in the midst of us? No disaster shall come upon us.” (12) Therefore because of you Zion shall be plowed as a field; Jerusalem shall become a heap of ruins, and the mountain of the house a wooded height.


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  1. Anonymous

    This is the exact moment that I had to wait for in order to safely escape the husband abuser. Once he saw that I wasn’t going to go along with his deranged ideas of intimacy and no longer outwardly showed any signs of distress that gave such joy to this sadist, he was done.
    The church gave zero support. His father (an elder) and the pastor made sure to add on piles of verbal and spiritual abuse.
    After finding a hundred ways to make the separation agreement (he was done with me)beyond hateful, this November I am finally free from this demon with a divorce. It took decades to free myself but I thank God and give Him all the praise, honor, and glory that my life has been spared. This disgrace of a human being constantly made sure to let me know if I leave he has ways of making me disappear or at the very least I would be living in a cardboard box eating cat food. Using physical force to demonstrate how much power he has and at the last moment stopping. I took every word he said seriously and kept learning what makes this person tick and watched for the moment of escape.
    My not Christian family of origin thinks the ex is cool and worldly and has it all together and a victim of an insane wife. I have no doubt they will be one of his targets at some point if it serves him in some way.
    Thank you for this ministry of validating the Holy word of God as it applies to abusing each other in full context.

    • Jeff Crippen

      Anonymous – so glad you are free. Your words are anything but those of an “insane wife” as he will indeed claim you to be. This evil oppression not only by the abuser but by family, pastors, and church is very revealing of their true nature. I like your term “the not Christians.” They will hear Jesus say on that Day – I never knew you.

      • Done

        Anonymous and Pastor Crippen, thank you both. I understand and can revalidate all you have said is how it is – the part that is also so undeniable is that it is profoundly the church majority that look the other way when you can no longer serve there hidden agenda.
        I cannot begin to thank you enough for these scriptures and comments. There is a sense of comfort knowing that there are a few who get it – have seen it, and are still here to speak the truth.
        Funny thing is, as done as they were with me for finally speaking up about the abuser(s), I am now finding I am finally so done with them. I used to let my guts be twisted up over their lies, deception, dismissals, etc. after the violent abuse, literally left me in such anguish over their cruel alignment with satan. Now it’s more of a “no surprise” when they do it, re-do it, deny it, etc. it’s their corrupt game, not mine, done. Seriously done, they are the Lord’s to deal with now, and we no for certain – he will.

  2. Ms.E,

    If they don’t go against you overtly, they do so passive-aggressively (such as excluding you by constantly “forgetting” to invite you to fellowships, meetings, etc.) They create a hostile ministry environment that you no longer feel comfortable. Sometimes, it felt like there is an automatic bias in the church against the person who files divorce, no matter what the [legitimate] reason was.

  3. Anonymous

    Thank you for the clarification. I am encouraged by this. Shine the light on their shielding an abuser is how I am understanding this. Say something, anything. The rest is up to God.
    I think that my problem was (I think still is and useful for my own further consideration) is the threat of a civil slander lawsuit. But I am learning to be as wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove, and very much appreciate your input. It is always a time celebrate when true justice wins.

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