Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

The Power of Love – Really?

Most of you have been told by professing Christians, pastors, Christian counselors, Christian authors and so on that God requires you to love your abuser, to stay in relationship with him, and that by the power of your loving, by you continuing to endure the abuse, you will win your abuser over. He will break, repent, and be a changed man.
The link below is a prime example of how this false gospel is not only being taught in churches and by supposedly Christian organizations, but by individuals such as this fellow who are making the rounds on the speaking circuit, in demand, warmly and tearfully received by the throngs who conclude that what this man claims happened to him will surely happen to everyone to has enough faith to “unleash the power of love.” Is this the gospel? Where is Christ in this?
I don’t think I need to point out to you how dangerous (and false) this kind of teaching is. As you listen, imagine (most of you don’t have to imagine) how this will be received by a victim of abuse, or by a victim of rape or some other heinous crime, and think about the damage that it does to these oppressed people.
One more note. Also think about how the typical professing Christian is going to respond to this message. The tears. The hallelujahs. The offerings.
And tell me what you think – what are your overall impressions of this man’s presentation. The music. The narrative. And the elephant in the room question we aren’t supposed to ask – how much of this is even true?
NOTE: If the link does not work for you, you can search for the video under “Dan Baumann – His Torturer Finally Broke” and you should be able to find it.


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  1. anonymous

    Well, it is YWAM, that pretty much tells me all I need to know.

  2. wingingit

    I got as far as, “Every day I was being beaten by this same man and God challenged me to love him. Which at first seemed impossible because EVERYTHING WAS ABOUT ME”
    I had to stop there.
    Gee, fella, your body being beaten every day IS about you!! You will live every day for the rest of your life with the scars, disabilities, chronic health issues that come from abuse. It is not selfish sin to think of yourself when you are being abused.
    The abuser will live free from the consequences of his abuse, until he dies.
    Your mind being twisted by an evil person is never God’s way to win over the evil mind twister.
    God does not destroy one of his children to save another one.
    This false teaching that God causes some of us to suffer for “His Glory” turns my stomach.
    I was told that for years, the abuse was my cross to bear for Jesus. It would be worth it to get my abuser into heaven.
    I was told some of us were created to suffer for the gospel.
    I believed it and I hated that God created me to be tormented my whole life while other women were created to nurtured and loved their whole lives.
    I used to beg God to show me WHY I deserved to be abused while others did not.
    It is a twisted gospel indeed that saves some people just to use them as the whipping boy to save others.
    It is a weak gospel that can only reach some people through its plain message, so it has to use abuse and torture of those the gospel HAS reached to win over those hardest of hearts.
    The gospel converts become the lambs to be sacrificed for the most vile of sinners….Jesus was not enough.
    Yes, that is a sad gospel, indeed.

    • Jeff Crippen

      Wingingit – Thank you! No kidding, stuff like this is very hard to watch because you know not only is it a false teaching but that it is being swallowed up with oohs and aahs by the masses, AND effecting piles of additional suffering on targets of domestic torturers.

    • Jeff Crippen

      Wingingit – I guess they thought that by adding background music we would swallow it easier.

  3. Wow, what a bunch of twisted and false messages! When Dan said God challenged him to look at his abuser through the eyes of God, I thought about what Psalm 7:11 says, “God is a just judge, and God is angry with the wicked every day.” Our Most High God would not encourage one of His children to suffer at the hands of a wicked person as part of their “lot in life.” God loves His children.
    The message that victims should just love their abusers more and then they will repent causes more emotional and spiritual pain for the victims, because when it does not happen, the victim is left feeling like they did not do enough and it was somehow their fault that the abuser did not repent. The trauma of being abused is not lessened by showing the abuser more love. This practice does, however, feed into the abuser’s need for power and control. The more a victim tries to love and help the abuser, the worse the abuse becomes.
    This video is exactly the type of tool that keeps genuine Christians in bondage to abusers. The devil loves this man’s distorted message.

  4. Sue

    And it’s no surprise when abused people come to a very low place where they absolutely want no parts of our Lord. Yeah, go ask Carol. She used to be in church about every Sunday. Finally, after being invalidated a time or two too many, she was done – with all that you-must- forgive drivel. She was a child, when the abuse happened – i don’t know the details, and don’t need to either. It happened.
    And my gut feeling is, that Glen had endured much disrespect from his family. His thinking has become fuzzy over the past few years … “things that make ya go hhmmm, hhmmm yeah…”
    Anyway, i go to church, sing the hymns, contribute to the plate, listen to the sermon – and watch my ps and qs.

  5. lg

    I could not even finish watching the video — it was so triggering and upsetting to watch – I got a mini anxiety attack and had to stop and regroup.
    I don’t even believe he was telling the truth. His story was all about himself and glorying himself.
    Before my divorce however, I would have thought nothing of believing him and would of believed him as a matter of course.
    I was fed a steady diet of that junk my entire childhood and young adult life and during my marriage. During my short marriage I so hopefully saturated myself in Nancy Leigh Demoss Revive Our Hearts radio program / podcast every single day as a new mom isolated with my abuser in a foreign country. One older American woman who was there gave me the book “Power of a Praying Wife.” I so hopefully prayed and believed that I just needed to do this or that more and then his heart would change….
    Those messages are so dangerous for women who are in a marriage to a Narcissist / Sociopath – especially smart ones who love to gas light and send people in circles.
    I am still suffering from the trauma and fallout from making the dangerous mistake of not leaving the marriage that very first year.
    I am so thankful that I can see something like that now and recognize immediately for what it is (The Bible is the best Narc Decoder): a bunch of garbage and lies and self glorification.

    • Jeff Crippen

      Thank you lg. Yes, the guy is triggering and he really makes me angry. They put this garbage together with all the music and drama and it is just plain wicked. And yes, it is all about himself.

  6. lg

    I also forgot to mention the observation that this story had nothing to do with the guy repenting — there was no mention of repentance in this story – not by the storyteller or by the storyteller’s subject.

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