Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

The Blinding Work of our Enemy in this Spiritual War

Proverbs 26:23 ESV  Like the glaze covering an earthen vessel are fervent lips with an evil heart.

Here is a very important insight shared today by Survivor, a commenter at my Light for Dark Times blog. She pointed us to the verse above.

Even Christian marriage counselors do not understand the machinations of mind control. In fact, I believe that mind control was even used on the counselors by my abuser. It seems that the veneer of a deceitful mind can circumvent even very intelligent people.

Mind control. Not the kind that a Jedi knight in Star Wars exercises, but the kind of deceptive darkness that Satan is a master at using. We should not be surprised if his servants wield the same weaponry.

Think about this for instance:

2 Corinthians 4:4 ESV  In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.

Paul speaks here of unbelievers being blinded in their mind, but this verse certainly establishes the fact that this is one of the ways Satan operates. Mind blinding to the truth of Christ. And check this out:

Hebrews 5:13-14 ESV  for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child.  (14)  But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.

This means that anyone who is unskilled in God’s truth is going to be more easily controlled by evil ones because he or she cannot distinguish good from evil. They cannot discern who is lying and who is telling the truth. No one who is unskilled in this matter, a baby spiritually, has any more business addressing an abuse case than a little kid has (sometimes the little kid will do a better job!). In so many cases this is a willful blindness. (I should add though that all of us have experienced this deception and usually it has taken us, even though we were Christians already, to shake it off. I think the main reason for that is that we were immersed in false teaching and we assumed we were being taught truth).
Mind control. I bet most all of you have seen it. The wicked, like these domestic abusers who parade as holy saints, really do seem to cast a mind controlling spell and gain people as their allies time after time. And I wonder just how much of this business is involved in the warfare Paul tells us we are in:

Ephesians 6:10-12 ESV  Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.  (11)  Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.  (12)  For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

These verses are quoted all the time by lots of Christians and preachers and counselors, but how many of these people really understand them? Not many. The devil has schemes. Lying, blinding schemes by which he exerts his brand of mind control. If, as Hebrews says, a person is not trained to discern truth from error, if as Paul puts it here they are not “strong in the Lord,” then the result of a “counseling session” with an evil person is going to be, well, in a way kind of like that Jedi knight business – “Listen to me now. You will believe me. You will be my ally. You see how holy I am.” And then the duped counselor just spits back that line to the victim.
We are dealing with the devil and his kingdom of darkness and his wicked servants when we stand against these domestic abusers and other forms of these evils hiding in local churches wearing a disguise of wool. Most professing Christians are still milk-fed infants in their maturity in Christ (if they are in Christ at all), and thus it is no wonder that over and over again churches and pastors and counselors and others end up siding with the evil one against the innocent.
The wicked do indeed cast a glaze over the mind’s eye of such people.


Part 2 of An Appearance of Godliness is Published now at lightfordarktimes.com


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    Amen!!! Spiritual warfare is no joke. Satan and the kingdom of darkness are dead serious about what they are doing to kill, steal and destroy genuine Christians. The majority of counselors have absolutely no idea how to discern the evil that they are being presented from a wolf in sheep’s clothing. They are usually easily charmed and fooled by them. That is why counselling does not work. Spiritual warfare cannot be fought by those who are clueless about its dynamics and the power that the enemy has to control people’s minds.
    Wicked abusers, and they are all wicked, know how to manipulate people and circumstances so that the victim ends up being blamed, even for the abuser’s actions. The hope we have is that the Lord promises to reveal the truth and bring what is hidden in darkness out into His light. He will judge the wicked and cause them to suffer the consequences of their actions for all eternity in Hell. Praise God!

  2. Rae

    I thank God continually for the spiritual gifts He gives by His will. How can we recognize evil and stand against the darkness? Especially in the church. Triggers were thrown at me yesterday to push my flesh to anger. This is a tactic the abuser will use to his advantage. I caught him in a lie. Confirmation that there are abusers in leadership positions. I hate evil!! The enemy was working to shame and blame me. I walked away knowing the truth.

  3. Debby

    My worst spiritual abuser who viciously gaslit and blamed me for my ex’s 30 yrs of abuse was an associate pastor who led monthly deliverance weekends. He was so incredibly arrogant and intimidating. Everyone followed him like puppies, even people I considered strong believers but they had no discernment. It was sickening.

  4. Innoscent

    The majority of church folks are rarely told that becoming a Christian means enrolling the army of God. They aren’t thoroughly taught true biblical and spiritual warfare and how to use God’s armor. They are left ignorant about the weaponry and tactics of the enemy.
    Why? Because most of the church leaders are weak, ignorant or predators themselves.
    Same with the counseling armada. Their approach is to think good of everyone, be respectful and kind toward the client. In the helping profession, the teaching goes that you’ve got to be non-judgmental and show empathy always. Christian counselors leave discernment at the door and switch their radar off. Big mistake!
    And they’re being fed more milk by abusers…

  5. Name Omitted

    I read this somewhere and it may have been Pastor Crippen who wrote it,
    “If you refuse to see the ugliness of evil, you’ll be an ally to evil.”
    I’m so thankful to have found a pastor who regularly talks about abuse, abusers, domestic violence, evildoers, the multitude of tactics the wicked employ, and so forth.
    “Friendship with the world is enmity with God.”
    I feel less alone reading these posts and reading the other people’s comments.

  6. walkinginlight

    I once had a so called “Christian” chastise me for speaking the scripture in Hebrews 5 about “milk drinkers”. That told me all I needed to know about them! And it is true, I have seen it with my own eyes, the folks who turn a blind eye to the evil do become a ally of the abuser. Sometimes they do not even realize that they have, but will be shocked when they have to explain to the Lord why they did not stand up for the righteous one. Most church’s have turned into a social club for the sheeples!

    • Innoscent

      Good for you Walkininlight for bravely tackling those Scriptures that church leaders and sheeples prefer to ignore! They are in a state of hypnosis, relying on teachers to interpret the BIble for them, some of those were taught manipulation techniques such as NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). And the Lord will tell them “I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.” (Mt 7:23). Then they will wake up, only too late…

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