2 Timothy 4:14-15 Alexander the coppersmith did me great harm; the Lord will repay him according to his deeds. (15) Beware of him yourself, for he strongly opposed our message.
The Apostle Paul was wise about evil. Notice that in this warning to Timothy, Paul does not make any excuses for Alexander nor does he minimize his culpability. Paul does not tell Timothy to “pray” for Alexander or to urge him to repent.
The typical line that professing Christian people use on victims of domestic abuse is something like, “but I’m sure he is sorry. I’m sure he has changed. I just know that he loves you.” Blah, blah, blah. But here is my question for everyone who lays that kind of load on a victim:
How can you say these things when you weren’t there? When you haven’t lived in that home? When, in other words, you did not and still do not know this abuser? How can you say that he has “changed” when you in fact do not know what he was?
Paul knew who Alexander was and therefore he knew the truth – Alexander had not changed. Paul knew who Alexander was. If Alexander had repented, Paul would have known it and could have confidently told Timothy he had.
So in reality, when people tell us an abuser “has changed,” they are being dishonest with us and with themselves. What they really mean is, “he never was what you (the victim) say he is. He is who I want him to be – a nice guy who isn’t perfect.”
Before you ever declare that someone has repented or that they have changed, you had better first be certain that you know who they were. And in most all cases of domestic abuse, people outside the walls of the marriage don’t know.
That “nice guy with shortcomings” isn’t. In fact he is an Alexander and what you should be telling people is, “beware of him.”
I wonder if so much of this nonsense didn’t come from the idea of no divorce ever, that reconciliation must always occur, as there is never any acceptable divorce. People commonly say “I don’t believe in divorce” either because they are very genuinely approaching marriage and their vows to be something of great importance and worth, OR because they subscribe to the deadly “’til death do us part” captivity/possession view of marriage (usually a man claiming his wife is his forever, regardless of what he does to her).
Same thing with the forgive, forgive, forgive! cult mentality. But so many believe you are to forgive all, no matter what, and that such is a sign of your faith. What madness!
Then, there’s the ‘happy hippie horse[poop], let’s all hold hands’ mentality where nobody is bad, no evil truly exists, there are only mistakes, misunderstandings, and temporary sins, but no real evil or wicked persons in the world. This is especially damaging. People also believe it is their mandate to always believe the best in others, to look for the good in others, and perpetually give others the benefit of the doubt. Christian radio stations seem to lull listeners into this happy-smiley-think positive! cult-like state. It’s as though the only real evil in the world is the Democrats and abortion. It boggles the mind. Contemporary Christian music also lends to these false notions of God chasing people down (evildoers, too, as there is no distinction made) with His endless love for them. Not so.
I’m almost of the opinion that we need to bring back the fire-and-brimstone preachers for a good while to shake people free of these false teachings of ‘love all, forgive all, nobody is bad, positive thinking only, there’s good in everyone, benefit of the doubt, let’s all hold hands and we’ll love the evildoers to Jesus and just love the wickedness right out of them’ because they are so toxic.
I go back to 2 Timothy 4:14-15 with more and more appreciation each time. It’s instructional. It’s ignored or disregarded or dismissed by others and yet here a pastor (Pastor Crippen) appreciates it, too.
That’s a great summary of so much nonsense going on in the ‘mass-church’ where the mass has been endoctrinated, no longer studying for themselves and rightly dividing the word of truth (2 Tim. 2:15).
I’m with on bringing back the fire-and-brimstone preachers calling people to repentance.I believe God is preparing such genuine and bold people who will ‘cry aloud, spare not, lift up thy voice like a trumpet and show my people their transgression and the house of Jacob their sins.’ Isaiah 58:1. This day is coming very soon for sure.
Thanks for your comment, Innoscent. The more I think about it, the more I believe we need the fire-and-brimstone preachers taking over the churches. To say someone is going to hell these days is to be looked at as crazy, unstable, or worse yet, evil/wicked/mean. And yet, it’s God’s Word.
And if you were a wayward person, on that wide and well-traveled road to destruction, wouldn’t you want some fire-and-brimstone preacher or other person to tell you of your future doom, burning in hell and all, in hopes of snapping you out of your trance and sobering you up, convicting your heart, and dropping you to your knees to repent and beg God for forgiveness?
I’m told that I am too severe, too extreme, too negative, and yet what is the sobering reality? It’s either heaven or hell and it’s for eternity. And we shouldn’t delude others into playing with fire (wickedness) or allying with abusers in the false hope of abusers ‘coming to Jesus’ because it’s the abusers who corrupt and change the others, not the other way around.
Exactly Cara! Warning someone on their way to perdition is to act out of love for them. Our time on this earth is probation time during which we gather the information and facts and then decide which of the two sides (God or Satan), we want to be on.
You aren’t exacting, severe or the like, but THEY are at best ignorant, at worse cowards, and passively watching evil become good in their deluded minds. To the point that they think they will save abusers by sacrificing victims, abusing them further!! They’re in actual fact worshipping the devil, giving away their children to Moloch!
Truth is that side of love which has the courage to address reproof and warnings is foreign territory to so many. Let’s not go there, let’s not rock the boat, better go on smoothly and show grace and say nothing. Look at our beautiful church, our loving congregation, come in and join us. Everyone welcome (sheep and wolves alike).
The biblical definition of love is that of a combination of Mercy (grace) + Justice (law). They are inseparable. This is what Jesus dying on the cross demonstrated to the whole universe. But now, it’s all about mercy, grace, sentimentalism, resulting in truncated love, If you address reproof (after searching your own heart, fasting and praying at times), you’re seen as the ‘troubler in Israel’. But you’re only doing it out of genuine love following what God recommended.
But if you do warn the wicked person to turn from their ways and they do not do so, they will die for their sin, though you yourself will be saved. Ezekiel 33:9.
Actually, mercy and grace are not the same thing, which it appears you might be implying. But justice is giving to each individual the treatment they are entitled to or deserve. That is applied in myriads of ways in life, so I will just address the spiritual side. We all deserve justice for our sin, which culminates in the rejection of Christ. But in accepting Christ, that due justice is removed forever and covered by his grace. I hope I’m saying it right. All our sin is wiped away -past, present and future- and replaced with his perfect righteousness. As for law, when the Pharisees brought the woman caught in adultery to Jesus, if he had followed the written law, he would have given her justice by having her stoned. But he fulfilled the greater law of love, grace and mercy, and gave her forgiveness, thereby giving her his justice via grace. When he tells her to go and sin no more, he is acknowledging that he has saved her and her sin has been wiped away. Grace is undeserved favor, and mercy is the removal of the consequence of our sin. God doesn’t send ppl to hell. We all have a choice to accept Christ in our place and receive his righteousness to cover our sin. But there are those who will reject him. When they stand before Christ, it won’t be hell fire and brimstone, it will simply be Christ honoring their freedom to reject him. “Turn from me, I never knew you”. They will be responsible for paying for their own sin, the rejection of him, paying for it themselves instead and facing eternal separation from him in hell. God is loving and peaceable and he is dealing with the evil and wickedness that exists on the earth. God says that it is his kindness that leads one to repentance. He doesn’t threaten or scare them into receiving his free gift.
IMB, thanks so much for taking the time to share, and my apologies for being unclear. I agree that mercy and grace aren’t the same. I meant to make a parallel, not an equivalent.
Sure, all sins incur a penalty unless confessed and repented of by faith in the blood of Jesus the lamb of God dying on the cross to take the penalty in the place of repentant sinners.
As for grace, I noticed some confusion on this topic. I find in the Scriptures that all things God offers is unmerited by fallen humankind anyway. It helps to consider grace from the biblical perspective of the battle between God and Satan in which we are involved. On our own we are powerless to change ourselves (our sinful nature), to work for God and to resist the temptations of the devil and his demons. God knows that, and therefore we need more than forgiveness and so provides grace, which is actually **the power, the strength** ‘to help in time of need’. Heb 4.16. Grace was the power the apostles needed to preach the Gospel and push the darkness away from their audience and bring the light of the Gospel -Acts 4:33; 1 Cor 15:10.
Your example of the woman caught (set up) in adultery is a perfect one. Just like what happened to me a few months back, the police stopped me and told me I was over the speed limit. I was praying inside. The policeman decided to give me no fine, but a warning. I was so relieved. We’d say that’s ‘grace’, but actually it is forgiveness. The policeman revealed to me the transgression of the law (road rules) –Ro 7:7– and in his mercy, he forgave me (no ticket). Then grace comes as **the enabling power of God** for me not to transgress the law again (‘go and sin no more’).
Grace is imparted through the Holy Spirit who is the active agent of transformation of the Godhead. This power that works in us purifies our desires, energizes our will to do what’s right, refines our tastes and values, provides discernment and wisdom to say no to evil.
Just as God delivers us entirely from of our abuser(s) and allies, God gives us power to divorce from sin and Satan. Often, as Christians we miss that, and this allows our enemy to keep a hold on us. Praise God for His grace that empowers us to become a new creature and partaker of the divine nature –1 Pet 2:4.
Our heavenly Physician not only makes a clear diagnosis of our illness in his mercy and love, but also indicates to us the remedy as we cooperate with him (loving obedience). Ro 5:20-21; 2 Cor 12:9; Rev 3:15-19.
I hope this clarifies things IMB. Thanks for the opportunity to share on this important topic.
I often wondered why this is even an issue after divorce. Years and years later you would think that there would be some acknowledgement that there a definitive end. The truth is hard for those who have not experienced it and want to feel comfortable rather than compassionate. If you consider the lengths people go to, even defamation and harassment. It is certain that there is not review of the God’s truth on the matter.
Amen! Couldn’t have said it better!
I feel re-victimized anytime someone makes excuses for or denies what I have endured–they actually make the PTSD *worse*; I have come to despise them on the same level I despise the abuser.
sweethonesty7, I agree with you.
He who justifies the wicked and he who condemns the righteous, both of them alike are an abomination to the Lord.”
This verse says to me that enablers of wicked people are an abomination to God, and are equally condemned with the wicked themselves.
God Bless you.
The worldly vows in a marriage.
Till death 👉🏻yes the death of a marriage 👇🏻
For richer or poorer
For better or worse
In sickness and in health
What kind of sickness?
All of the above has scared me away from trusting anyone around me.
Abusers know they can fool anyone that’s not in their immediate inner circle into believing that they are innocent saints, full of goodness and victims of…whatever, even if they have been on the receiving end of the abuse themselves. Distance creates blindness and forgetfulness disguised as forgiveness, as the abuser can play act to their hearts content from afar.
Paul knew that Timothy would believe him, it’s a blessing to have someone like that in your life. I only have two people close to me that are ‘Timothys’, and who truly see and understand the depth of the abusers evil, sadly both aren’t Christians, but they’re able to see the truth because they’re not blinded by all the sugary, sunshine and rainbows doctrine that’s so prevalent now.
The so called Christians that keep forgiving the abuser have become abusers themselves in continuing the charade, it’s heart-sickening, but unless they themselves are able to be around the abuser intimately for a good long time, I don’t see the possibility of their eyes ever being opened. I’m so very grateful for my two ’Timothys’, and for all the Timothys on sites like this one who truly see the truth, such a blessing.
When I wonder how it is that my abusers were able to fool so many others into hating me and seeking to harm me (abuse by proxy is a favorite), believing the abusers to be saints. Then I recall the grooming period. Remember how ‘great’ the abuser was at first? I had no idea I was about to become a battered and abused wife. I was so sure he wouldn’t ever do such a thing.
That same duping ability is retained and used on others. And it’s a double helping of misery for victims because the flying monkeys then seek to harm the victims, out of misplaced ‘justice’ (which is vengeance, having been deceived into thinking the abuser is the victim, needing to be avenged and all).
Most people refuse to listen to the victim when she tells others her abuser is an abuser. I know the pain of that all too well. Victims’ family members can even be deceived into standing with the abusers against their own flesh-and-blood.
Yes Cara, slow torture murderers, perfect description. They assassinate their victim’s character poisonous drop by poisonous drop without the victim even knowing initially, and mostly for a very long time what is even happening. Their sham of being a wonderful person plays mind games with the victim and fools so many into believing their lie.
So thankful my eyes were opened but it’s a difficult truth to absorb, though now being aware I try to keep my ‘armor’ on full time, which does help as I’m surrounded, which I hadn’t realized for many years. It was quite a sad shock to learn so…I was ‘duped’ as well.
And they prime everyone else, slowly, from the start, to believe lies about the victim, all the while she has no idea such lies/smears (very strategic) are being made about her all through the years. It’s really evil. The victim only makes the abuser look good to others, because that is what he demands. She takes the fall for bad behavior of his and covers for him. She doesn’t share what a monster he is to others and keeps silent for years. He brainwashes her to believe she is at fault, guilty, and the one to blame for the abuse in the first place. So she is extra ashamed and embarrassed, feeling falsely guilty and wrongly responsible.
It’s so evil. So evil. And the abused victim gets treated badly by others, and doesn’t understand why, as she has no idea the abuser is going around smearing her to others, making them believe she abuses him and is this awful person. The abuser gets pity. Then those same people who offer the abuser pity, go after the real victim and treat her horribly, without any explanation whatsoever. All the while, such allies/dupes/flying monkeys feel good about abusing her, believing her to deserve it. She can’t make sense of things. She feels worse and worse, suffers more and more.
I believe it is on Judgment Day that all will be revealed, but it’s the here and now which is suffered by victims. They know they are evil from Day 1 and they are murderers, torturers, and I have nothing but sympathy for victims of these evil monsters. Poor women. The nightmare doesn’t ever stop, either, for victims. We wait for the end of this life. That’s about it. That’s my hope. Let the end come soon.
Know that even people who DO see the abuse up close, know firsthand that it’s true AND profess to be Christians, will STILL ally with, cover up for, lie for and enable the abusers. I had no “Timothys. Just wolves and more wolves. Not at all distant from the abuse. Next door relatives. They saw it. They heard it. They’ve always known all about it and excused it. Tried to silence me every time I tried to speak about it until I stopped trying and suffered in silence.
And Cara, all the false teachings about “forgiveness” and “loving your abuser to Jesus”, etc…almost got me killed by my abusive family. False teachings like this can and do cost real lives! The enemy loves these false teachings.
Z, as a child I didn’t have a single soul that acknowledged the abuse I was going through, not a single one, but they weren’t Christians, or I should say, wolves pretending to be Christians, and I can only imagine how horrible it must have been to have your abusers claiming to be saints yet causing the horrific abuses you went through, that adds an even more destructive layer to the abuse.
I ended up marrying into a wolf-pack disguised as sheep, they seemed so wonderfully bright, shiny, and good after being with the secular abusers…little did I know. I became a Christian right before meeting them and thought anyone claiming that title was truly saved and good, it took me 20 years to see the truth, now I can’t un-see it, which I’m thankful for, but how I wish I had known sooner.
A “wolf-pack”! That’s what it is, too! The in-laws know their relative is evil. They know! It’s indeed a wolf-pack. So aptly described! And they operate as a pack, too. All predatory, operating as a hunting/destroying criminal unit.
I have yet to hear of any victim who found their in-laws (or former in-laws) siding with them, not the abuser (their flesh-and-blood). I used to believe in the fantasy that people were their own person, and that one shouldn’t hold a person’s relatives against them, but now experiencing the wolf-pack, I’m a firm believer of the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Predatory, abuser fathers (may) make for predatory, sons. One exception could be Jonathan from The Bible and Saul, his evil, murderous father.
I agree with each and every post. —here are some of my observations, random thoughts etc.
—(some)true Abusive fathers make abusive sons. I experienced that first hand but was groomed by abuser to feel sorry for him.
—-When the evil reveals itself Believe it it’s true. Ask questions, do background checks, any revelation of criminal activity, abuse, adultery in their past take it seriously.
—-Don’t believe the I’m changed bible talk. Usually if someone has to say they’ve changed it’s because the fruit isn’t there.
—-Think like a cop, be objective when meeting new people. This goes for female friends as well as potential dating partners.
—Abusers hang out in wolf packs to abuse a victim.
—-They gather allies against you, sometimes subtlety at first behind your back, then it becomes obvious.
—-Professing Christians willfully collaborate with them and are so easily duped into believing lies.
—-The victim is turned into the perpetrator and is abused by others as a form of perverted devil inspired justice!
The easily duped Christians I know profess you have quiet times every morning where they read their bible and listen to the Holy Spirit for guidance.
If they were really hearing from the holy spirit wouldn’t they respond to us in true justice?
After our daily cries to god. The private prayers for understanding. The private cries for justice we all have made. Wouldn’t someone who hears from the spirit respond to us with some sort of true kindness. Wouldn’t those who truly heard from the spirit come along side us with some form of comfort? If they truly heard from the spirit they would be moved to have compassion in us. But they don’t hear from the holy spiritual they are not connected to the spirit at all, even though they profess to be such great leaders in the church. It’s horrible really.
Thanks frankiesmith2064 for your words. There’s wisdom there. Good tips and good insights. They do create and operate in wolf packs. It’s so overwhelming to be the victim because almost everyone is turned against you and attack you. And for those who don’t, most are too afraid to have anything to do with you as they don’t want the wolf pack going after them, too, and it’s a very reasonable assessment.
Remember watching the Passion of the Christ? Mob ‘justice’ and Peter’s fearful denial of knowing Christ three times. Not saying abuse victims are like Christ and deserve that honor, but the evil is the same, the dynamics are there. When the sadistic Roman soldiers are scourging Him and taunting and being sadistic, I felt that. I saw myself and what has been done to me. I felt less alone. Because at least in that movie, the pile ons, the taunting, the sadistic parties, the mob ‘justice’ is shown. So much is denied by so many people. It’s gaslighting. People don’t want to acknowledge evil. So, I am not saying I am Christ or innocent and perfect like the Holy Lamb, as I don’t even deserve to loosen His sandals. But I did feel less alone watching that movie again. Seeing the wolf pack. Seeing the sadism. Seeing the operation of evil, the scheming, the intense focus on destroying their victim. The taunting and cruelty by the soldiers and even one of the men being crucified, too.
I was thinking about Job and his friends and how they are convinced they must convict Job of some sin that created all his suffering. It’s like that happens now today, too, as victims will be told they are suffering as a result of their bad choices (as though anyone goes out looking to marry an abuser and have their life destroyed), that it takes two to tango, that half of the responsibility for their problems belongs to them, and they must have provoked it, and so on it goes.
Also, in one last random thought, we should start evaluating and analyzing things by asking (1) Who does this benefit? Who is being helped? and (2) Who is being harmed? Who does this hurt?
Because there really is no such thing as neutrality. There are winners and losers in everything. We play nice with wolves (abusers) and we thus help wolves AND hurt their victims. It helps to disabuse oneself of supposed neutrality. And refusal to act means you’re siding with the oppressor and perpetuating the unjust status quo.
Lastly, I really appreciate this blog as it facilitates a community of victims and we can learn from one another and also express things that most people don’t want to hear and won’t allow. I’m tired of polite conversations and polite topics. Evil is all around. Victims are being made every minute of every day. Talking about evil is paramount. Getting wise to tactics. All sorts of things.
Does anyone else feel that these topics need to be taught to girls in school, especially high school? Not a one-time hour-long presentation, but woman abuse, domestic violence, coercive control, stalking, sexual harassment, rape, abuse, etc. needs to be a weekly (if not daily) class. So many girls and women’s lives would be so much better off and so many years of suffering wouldn’t occur as women would be able to identify what is happening to them, to realize there are resources, to know that it’s not their fault, that they don’t cause, nor deserve, the abuse, the beatings, the punishments, the coercive control, etc.
Children need to be properly taught about evil. Pre marriage counseling needs to teach how domestic abusers and sociopaths operate and that abuse is grounds for divorce.
So true! Children do need to be taught about evil. Especially the ones who come from abusive parents/homes. They grow up around evil (thinking it was “normal”) and were conditioned and groomed to tolerate and overlook abuses by eventual partners and spouses. Abuse and evil are “normal” to those poor innocents. Teachers need to be taught to be on the lookout for signs of abuse at home in their students. And to talk to their students about abusive relationships. If I’d had just one person in authority to act or speak up on my behalf, to allow me a way to divulge the horrors I was going through, I can’t even imagine how different my life would have been.
And YES to premarital DEEP immersion into signs of evil, of an abusive person, red flag behaviors,..Again, if only…How different my life could have been. These things should be made mandatory! It’s serious business. Lives on the line.
It is grievously sad that, under so many churches’ strategies, our faithful witness is to be one of a preferred or pretend image rather than truth, because sometimes the truth is wretched and ugly and threatens to make the church look bad, and they can’t have that.
Many churches essentially fail to acknowledge that marriage is a sacred covenant in all aspects, not merely in word or status but in substance. Throughout Scripture we see that covenants are made, kept and broken. It takes all of the parties in the covenant to keep it, and only party to break it for it to be broken. But churches fear losing control and sacrificing the image of faith that gives them power – the same kind of twisted power-mongering that Jesus saw in the culture of the Pharisees…
Although many like me continue to enjoy an ever-deepening relationship with Jesus without going to church, it grieves me that we cannot have both.
I am sincerely grateful to know that there are a few, like Pastor Crippen, who are unwilling to compromise on the truth and have no difficulty acknowledging the depth of wickedness that will continue to flourish and cause harm within the body of Christ if we choose to pretend it does not exist.
Thank you Cindy.
This shows that the majority of church folks at large miserably fail to:
. admit something’s wrong with themselves, not with victims of abuse.
. investigate the true nature of abuse and abusers, as well as of evil.
. educate (leaders) their sheep about wolves (wicked people and abusers).
. discern the wicked and wolves in their midst and exercise biblical discipline.
. warn their sheep like Paul to Timothy about Alexanders prowling around.
. study their Bible to tell genuine from false repentance.
. protect the victims and rally around them to care and provide whatever they need.
If church leaders had been true to their calling, all of us here would not have (had) to go through the torture of living with an abusive spouse and having to pick up the broken pieces of our lives today.
Jesus is about to throw up those rotten fruits ‘because they say we are rich with grace and increased with forgiveness and have no need of anything else; but they know not that they are totally deluded, full of wrong deeds and counterfeit love, arrogant in their ignorance, and deprived of genuine faith and courage.’ Revelation 3:18, my version.
Thank you Jeff for your true love and boldness in warning us, Timothys. Forever grateful.
If only 2 of the 7 churches in Revelation were given a positive report by Christ, why should we be so surprised that the majority of the visible church today fails to follow the truth in scripture.
Most are deceived and want to be deceived by teachers who will tickle their ears and affirm their wickedness. They want remain in their bubble, ignorant to the wickedness being done in their midst because if they saw it, they would be forced to reckon with hard truths like – not everyone who says they are a Christian is one, we have to “love and forgive” everyone (meaning reconcile with unrepentant people).
Much of my abuse as an adult at the hands of family, church “friends” and pastors could have been avoided or at least minimized had I been in relationship with real believers. The toxic advice of I have to stay in relationship with my narcissistic family because they are family kept me ensnared for almost 2 decades longer than needed.
The pastors I had are cowards, only focused on what I could give them (time, money, talents) in exchange for their worthless straw instead of spiritual wheat. They spiritually starved me for decades before God kindly removed the veil from my eyes and helped me see that lies I had been told since I was born. I hungered and thirsted for righteousness, and was left feeling hungry and unsatisfied.
Surprisingly, it was unbiblical teaching on tithing that kickstarted my own journey into questioning what I’d been taught. From the revelation that Christians are no longer obligated to tithe like Israel did under the mosaic covenant, and those who teach that are at best deceived and more likely to be greedy for dishonest gain, I started taking a hard look at other teachings so see how they were being used and found those to be twisted out of context as well.
Please note I am not saying we should not give to the church, but that there isn’t a fixed amount required. Also if you aren’t in a financial position to give, not giving isn’t inviting a curse upon your life – like so many of the prosperity preachers claim.
There is wisdom in taking the time to see the heart of a person before ascertaining if they are a safe person. It can take years to get to the root of who someone is before their true nature is revealed. Don’t be surprised when those you thought were good, godly people turn out not to be. Wolves are effective because they can effectively masquerade as sheep and groom their pack to only belief their lies. That message is missing in much of Christendom. We want to believe everyone we meet, especially at church, are just fine, upstanding, godly people we can trust wholeheartedly. That belief leads to destruction.
When people show you who they are believe them. Talk is cheap, but actions – especially repeated actions over time – reveal the state of a persons heart.
Be wise as serpents regarding the nature of evil, yet innocent as doves in the practice of it. Beware of men. They seek those they can devour, moving onto the next victim once they’re done with the first. Guard yourself lest you become one of them.
Good words, Lynn! Thank you for sharing this wisdom.
So many “Christians” do take the mentality you had mentioned. They choose to pretend it (evil) does not exist. They do not want to deal with anything “uncomfortable”. I actually was told “can’t you just pretend it didn’t happen”? Can you believe that a family member said that to me?! I said “no, that is not healthy”.
As one of my favorite discernment ministers had stated “You are only to happy to be deceived, if the lie is something you want to believe, in spite of the overwhelming evidence”.