Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Does the Lord send us back to people who have threatened to kill us?

Psalm 94:1-7  O LORD, God of vengeance, O God of vengeance, shine forth!  (2)  Rise up, O judge of the earth; repay to the proud what they deserve!  (3)  O LORD, how long shall the wicked, how long shall the wicked exult?  (4)  They pour out their arrogant words; all the evildoers boast.  (5)  They crush your people, O LORD, and afflict your heritage.  (6)  They kill the widow and the sojourner, and murder the fatherless;  (7)  and they say, “The LORD does not see; the God of Jacob does not perceive.”

Many times domestic abusers make overt or veiled threats that they will kill their victim if the victim ever leaves them. And of course we all know that actual cases of these murders being carried out are not at all rare.
What does the Lord think of such evildoers? The Psalmist answers that question quite plainly. The Lord sees them. And He is a God of vengeance, a defender of the innocent. The Psalmist rightly calls upon the Lord to rise up and repay these arrogant murderers.

But what do many pastors and professing Christians think of these wicked ones? Well, that question is largely answered by the not uncommon counsel they give to the victims. Go back. Continue to be married to him. “Oh, you say he has threatened to kill you? Well, that was probably just in a bad moment he had. Be patient with him. Love him. We are all murderers in our hearts you know.”
What kind of insanity is this? Does the Lord tell women and children to remain in relationship with a person who causes them to fear that they will be murdered in their sleep or some other unsuspecting moment? NO!  His wrath is against the wicked and He is a defender of the oppressed.
What do you imagine that the Lord thinks of “shepherds” who tell people that He requires them to stay in relationship with a person who has threatened to kill them? To even live with them and show them respect? That divorcing their potential murderer is sin in God’s sight?

Jer 23:11-12  “Both prophet and priest are ungodly; even in my house I have found their evil, declares the LORD.  (12)  Therefore their way shall be to them like slippery paths in the darkness, into which they shall be driven and fall, for I will bring disaster upon them in the year of their punishment, declares the LORD.


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  1. Leanne

    Well said! Those false shepherds have a lot to answer for on Judgement Day.

  2. Leonie

    Oh my, so right on and such basic common sense!! Thank you!!

  3. no one down here

    God does not work in every person’s life in the same way. Through Scripture and through history, we can find righteous people who were called to live through really horrible circumstances, to God’s glory. We also can find righteous people who were plucked out of horrible circumstances, to God’s glory. There are martyrs who died. There are stories of miraculous deliverances. All by the hand of God and for His glory.
    However … with all that said … God is always watching, always mindful of true justice. We, as His people who are seeking to follow Him and be like Him, should not turn a blind eye to injustice. We should seek to protect people from evil, not put people under the controlling arm of wickedness.
    Some relevant verses
    Psalm 18 [highlights] “I will love thee, O Lord, my strength … The Lord is my rock, fortress, deliverer, God, strength… I will call on the Lord and be saved from my enemies. The sorrows of death and hell overwhelmed me and made me afraid. In distress, I called to the Lord … “He heard my voice out of his temple… Then the earth shook and trembled; the foundations…were shaken, because he was wroth…He bowed the heavens…and came down…he rode on a cherub and did fly…the Lord thundered…sent out his arrows…he sent from above…he drew me out of many waters…delivered me from my strong enemy and from them which hated me, for they were too strong for me…he delivered me because he delighted in me…”
    Malachi 3:5 “And I will come near to you to judgement, and I will be a swift witness against the adulterers, and against false swearers, and against those that oppress the hireling in his wages, the widow and the fatherless… and fear not me, says the Lord of hosts”
    Luke 4:18, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has annointed me to preach the gospel to the poor, to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, recover the sight of the blind, set at liberty them that are bruised.”
    Isaiah 3:11, Woe unto the wicked! it shall be ill with him, for the reward of his hands shall be given him.
    Psalm 34:21, Evil shall slay the wicked, and they that hate the righteous shall be desolate.
    Proverbs 17:15 He that justifies the wicked and condemns the just, even they both are abonimation to the LORD.
    What God has set free, let no man bind. If God Himself chooses to act on the behalf of his beloved child… let no man put that child back into bondage.
    But, make no mistake. Whether God chooses to set loose or to allow more oppression for a time… the wicked oppressor will be judged; that judgement will be swift and complete; there will be no saving, no mercy.

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