Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

The Good Samaritan Story Exposes Most "Christians" as Counterfeits

1Jn 2:27  But the anointing that you received from him abides in you, and you have no need that anyone should teach you. But as his anointing teaches you about everything, and is true, and is no lie—just as it has taught you, abide in him.
1Jn 3:10  By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother.

These things John wrote about are true of every real Christian. Everyone who is born again, everyone who is in Christ, has been given a new creation nature and now loves God, loves God’s people, and loves God’s Word. No exceptions. No, we aren’t perfect and never will be in this life. But the very essence of who we now are has been radically changed.  This is why Christ said that a good tree bears good fruit and a tree that bears bad fruit is a bad tree to be cut down.
As you can see from the verses above, there is one particular fruit that evidences the new birth. That fruit is love. And specifically love for Christ’s people. Love for one’s neighbor. Where this love is absent, Christ is absent. Understand? The Spirit of Jesus is in us and teaches us to love as He Himself loves us. This is why, as a reminder, it is absolutely impossible for a domestic abuser to be a Christian. The thing is unthinkable. Not even a possibility. When abuse victims come to understand this truth, they have taken a real step toward freedom.
Now, the Good Samaritain:

Luk 10:30-35  Jesus replied, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead.  (31)  Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side.  (32)  So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side.
(33)  But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion.  (34)  He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him.  (35)  And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.’

I doubt that I have to say much by way of application. It is obvious. Domestic abuse victims are just like that man who was stripped, beaten, and left half dead. Anyone who denies the seriousness of abuse is blind to these things. You know, the people who throw around the “but he never hit her” nonsense. Abuse is slow murder.
So who are the Levite and the Priest? That is obvious as well. Pastors and church members, theologians and “biblical counselors,” authors of all those nonsence books on marriage – they are the Levite and the Priest. Why? Well because, isn’t it clear – they pass by on the other side. They pass judgment, they condemn, then they wash their hands of the whole thing. You know the twisted routine.
Who is the Good Samaritan? That is obvious as well. He or she is the one who hears, validates, believes, and cares for the victim.
Now, and in some ways I say this is the main point – do not miss what else Jesus is saying about the Good Samaritan. The Good Samaritan is the genuine Christian. The Priest and the Levite are not. That is to say, the pastor and church that condemn and cast out or pass by the abuse victim are not Christians at all. How can we say such a thing? Because that is the point of the whole Good Samaritan story. I can hear someone saying “Oh come on. That is going way too far.” Nope, it isn’t and I can prove it –

Luk 10:25-29  And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?”  (26)  He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How do you read it?”  (27)  And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.”  (28)  And he said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.”  (29)  But he, desiring to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

What was this lawyer asking? He was asking what is necessary to be saved. “What shall I do to inherit eternal life?” Jesus’ answer is the story of the Good Samaritan. And it isn’t specifically about doing good works, but rather it is about a heart that obeys the two greatest commandments. You must love God with all your heart and soul and strength and mind and you must love your neighbor as yourself. That requires of course the new birth. A new heart with God’s Law written on it.
The story of the Good Samaritan then is an outward fruit of a heart like that. Such a heart, a true Christian, will not pass by on the other side when they come across an abuse victim. 
But, but, but….hold on here just a minute. If that is true, that would mean that most people who claim to be Christians, aren’t. Correct.
Are you a victim of abuse? Specifically, are you a Christian who is being abused by a wicked spouse who claims to be a Christian and are you being further oppressed by your pastor and church? Then here is a shocking eye-opener for you that will also be a huge leap toward freedom when you get hold of it: that pastor and those church members are Levites and Priests. They do not know the Lord. For all their God-talk and Bible quotes, they flunk God’s fundamental test. They do not love the brethren. They do not care for the oppressed.


The Chameleon Nature of Evil or, "Where's Waldo?"


The Religion of the Pharisees (Part 7)


  1. Zadok

    And i loved and respected those people.
    Ever. Last. One. Of. Them.

    • Jeff Crippen

      Zadok- I take your meaning to be that in the end you found out that the people you had regarded as your friends, and as Christians, turned out to be neither?

  2. Z

    Amen, Amen and Amen! I’ve been slowly absorbing the fact that all the “christians” who turned their backs on me because:
    -Domestic Abuse is a messy subject-even police, who are paid to “keep the peace and to serve and protect” hate DV calls and often take the easy way out-with injustice to victims a result all to often.
    -It involves (in my case) violence and they fear the abuser (Oh, these people KNEW my abusers were abusers! And they KNEW they didn’t want to be targeted by them like I was).
    -They don’t want to lose the “perks” of belonging to the abusers’ inner circle as opposed to being smeared, abused-by-proxy (allies), isolated and shunned like the victim. These “christians” who really aren’t Christians don’t want to pay any “cost” to support, tend to, stand by victims. Like the priest and Levite. “Love your neighbor”?? Nah. Gonna cost them so they “pass on by on the other side of the street”.
    I started out thinking these “christians” who knew the truth for so long and yet turned on me and abandoned me-nowhere to be found after I disclosed specific abuses-were just “fallible people”, imperfect Christians as we all are. Now I KNOW they aren’t Christians at all. Period.
    Thank you Pastor for revealing this all-important fact to me. It HAS helped me in my healing journey.

  3. GypsyAngel

    That really is the point of it all, isn’t it? To Love ones neighbor as one’s self. Not to love yourself to the expense of all others like the narcissist. It is also to exhibit that love from out of the wellspring that bubbles up from each of those who have accepted Christ and let the Holy Spirit change them. You really can tell Christians by their fruit. Counterfeit Christians fruit will be rotten or even nonexistent, just like the Priest and the Levite. We are not expected to be perfect (Praise God, because I sure wouldn’t make it). But we are called to Love…that’s it, just Love. Love God, Love Ourselves as we are children of God (that bit I still wrestle with on a daily basis because of my childhood programming and the machinations of the ex-husband), and Love others for the same reason. So simple, but at the same time; such a hard concept for so many to grasp. Yup, I’m still a work in progress, but I have a Father who Loves Me Just As I AM. What else can I do, who else can I be, but someone who shares that Love? It is such a precious Gift!

  4. No one down here

    1 Corinthians 13 given to me as reason why I need to blindly trust and assume only good things about the one who lied for years.
    Love thinks no evil, bears all things, believes, hopes…..
    I lived by those verses for years. Now, they feel like chains

    • Jeff Crippen

      NODH – check this out:
      1Co 13:6  it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
      1Co 13:7  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
      “Rejoices with the truth.” The “all things” therefore does not mean having hope and faith and thinking the best no matter how wicked someone is. Nope. It means believing the Lord and hoping in Him no matter what. These verses are typically horridly distorted into telling us we must think the best of an evil person. Not so. We don’t rejoice in a lie. We judge by the fruit of someones life.
      It is incredible how so called pastors and supposedly “godly” bigshots in churches and other Christian organizations turn their evil traditions into what they claim is Gods Word.

      • Z

        I am sure I don’t need to tell you how the twisting of the “love bears all things… thinks no evil…” Scripture as well as the many wrong teachings about the “forgiveness” (without repentance) Scriptures have caused so much more actual physical and other harm to victims of abuse. I’m one of them. I relied on the false teachings about those very two subjects to remain in a cycle of bondage to my abusers all my life. It gave them constant access to me to continue to abuse me.
        I wanted to please God and be a faithful follower of His Word. But the teachings of His Word on those subjects-love and forgiveness-were false. And so dangerous. Thank you for your excellent reply above about 1 Cor. 13:6-7! Also thank you for all the TRUE teachings you’ve done about what Biblical forgiveness is and what it isn’t. You are possibly saving lives or at least diminishing the horrible harm being done by abusers to God’s children. God bless you Pastor.

        • Jeff Crippen

          Thank you Z!

        • Stormy

          After dealing with a fake Christian abuser and many other wicked people in both my neighborhood, and bullies on the job I cried out to God for help in reconciling what I was being taught about suffering and forgiveness. God himself led me to pastor Crippen to help me. I’m so thankful.

          • Jeff Crippen

            It is amazing how so many abuse survivors find us here.

      • No one down here

        Ah, rain on a dry heart. So much hurt in there. Trying to wrench it out and become whole. Only God can provide healing; apparently it’s not as fast as I would like.
        Thank you for reminding me of some context there. I should have sent that back when given to me by the pastor. Ha!

      • GypsyAngel

        It is so frustrating to me, and I get angry that there are those who use the word of God to browbeat survivors of Domestic Violence. Especially when I am so certain that God never called us to be doormats. He never said we had to forgive and then allow an abuser back in our life. You can forgive an abuser, but still guard your safety. So often “Christian” organizations use and twist the word for their own ends. In many cases, those ends are nefarious and self-serving. There are also cases when well-meaning individuals follow the leading of such organizations because they are taught to not question. So those lies are taught, passed down through generations, and then put forward as if they are indeed a true interpretation of the word. But scripture shows them to be wrong.
        I’ve found places where scripture tells us to walk away and “knock the dust off;” put out from among us such individuals. Scripture teaches us to look at the heart not the words of a person and to accept nothing as truth unless it is confirmed by the Holy Spirit. That’s why it is so very important for each of us to have a personal relationship with God.
        Respecting the authority over you does not mean taking everything they say at face value. And if a thing sits badly with you, there is often a very good reason why. Trust the Holy Spirit in you. Listen to the voice that is telling you something isn’t quite right. That’s why this ministry is so very important, and probably why it’s not well received in certain circles. Ps. Jeff speaks Gods truth to us, backed up by scripture. It sheds a light on the evils hiding in the shadowy places that abusers like to lurk in. This ministry dispells the long-held beliefs that victims of abuse have to “stay and pray” and allow the abuser to remain in our lives. We are not the problem. They are. You, dear one, are not the problem. Those who are misusing Gods word and the abuser are.

        • Jeff Crippen

          Excellent! Thank you👍👍

        • No one down here

          Thank you, gypsyangel.
          I am in a place where a bunch of things are converging. I really want the pastor to understand the truth. I also would be happy to never go to that church again. I want to get on with my life, but it isn’t quite God’s time yet. I don’t know when that will be. I am also struggling with guilt real or not real. I hate thinking of myself as a victim. That feels so dirty and awful. I just want to know and love God more and I want to heal. I want the same for my kids. I sometimes remember certainty of Gods great goodness, his faithful covenant love… and sometimes fear potential revenge from the husband.
          When the pastor told me that I needed to remember that love believes and hopes all things….. I felt sick. I thought there is something wrong with this!!! You are sending me back to bondage. I can’t do that. Sometimes the things said here are like pouring healing into the cracks in my heart. It hurts like nothing else, but is good at the same time. Hard to explain.

          • No need to explain dear one. I experienced much of the same. I remember thinking and feeling so similar to what you described. I can understand wanting people to know and understand. I at one point campaigned hard to try to get others to see the monster behind the mask. I tried to show them the evil. It didn’t do anything but make me look even worse than the smear campaign that the abuser conducted. So I gave up wasting my time, effort, and my personal peace. Much like you have said waited and do still wait, concerning all things, on Gods time. It is perfect, though often not nearly quick enough by my reckoning. But His timing is always good. Just keep seeking him. Everyday, through everything. He has you.
            And that concern about revenge, is wisdom I think. We can never really tell what these people are capable of when thwarted or confronted with their misdeeds. I don’t think you are being fearful so much as being aware that there is potential for harm.
            Even though I say I understand, and have gone through similar; in reality I’m not you, so I don’t know exactly what or really how you are feeling. But from reading your responses on different articles, you appear thoughtful, insightful, and a woman who seeks God in most if not all things. So I write this with certainty; Nope, you’re not a victim. You’re a Survivor, and a Daughter of the King.
            May God continue to give you wisdom, wrapping you in His loving arms and keeping you safe. And please keep this close to your heart; You are never alone. You have good company on this path. God has you.

    • Jeff Crippen

      Oh, and P.S. -so the “all things” is actually “all things the Lord says.” 1 Cor 13 turns out to be a picture of love for the Lord primarily. So the common perversion of this passage is in fact telling us that love is believing everything that is a lie. Quite the opposite of what Paul is saying.

  5. walkinginlight

    Thank you for clarifying 1Cor.13 Pastor Crippen. Almost every single Christian I know believes exactly as you said, that love is believing everything that is a LIE! Yes it sure is the opposite of the correct teaching. So I am thinking that because so many have been taught this and believe this to be the correct application of scripture, do you feel this is why so many “stay in the middle” and do not want to take up for truth and the victim? I definitely see that to be the case. It is like the time you wrote about the three monkeys. See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil. I personally get very annoyed at folks who will not help the victim and stand up for righteousness.

    • Jeff Crippen

      It would mean they would have to rewrite most of what they teach. Too threatening to give up their traditions and power.

  6. No one down here

    I don’t know yet how to get deprogrammed, but whenever I’m wanting to feel down or condemned…; when someone uses a Scripture that feels like a dagger, I work to remind myself that God is always good, all the time. Man may not be able to be trusted, but God is always good, all the time. He looks at you and sees the pure righteousness of His Son. He does not condemn you. He is full of light and glory. He is holy and beautiful and full of justice, truth, and mercy. The grace He gave you for salvation is also going to bring you through sanctification and then to glorification.
    Remembering all that is so helpful, but when someone figures out how to lessen the physical fear response that comes from years of trauma and abuse… maybe they will post it 😀
    for me, all I can do is cling to Christ… and try to stop the spinning mind long enough to ask someone to help me think through whatever is hitting me. I sorta think there is a part of my brain that has been damaged. I can’t always sort out the truth on my own.

    • Jeff Crippen

      NODH – I am convinced that what you describe is real spiritual warfare which most professing Christians know nothing about. It is that walking through the valley of the shadow of death Ps 23 talks about. Most all of us here know exactly what you are talking about.

      • no one down here

        you might be right in that. I have seen evil and have plead with Christ to do battle with Satan on my behalf.
        But, for all that, while it is so difficult here, the sweetness of seeing Christ will be that much sweeter. To look in his eyes and see what I long for in vain here on earth, actually to see more than I long for… It’s a good thing we will all be glorified physically, because otherwise the heart would burst for the joy of it.

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