Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

More Thoughts on the Impossibility of the Christian to Remain Deceived

Mar 4:10-12 And when he was alone, those around him with the twelve asked him about the parables. (11) And he said to them, “To you has been given the secret of the kingdom of God, but for those outside everything is in parables, (12) so that “they may indeed see but not perceive, and may indeed hear but not understand, lest they should turn and be forgiven.”

Over the years as I have ministered in the local church and in ministry to domestic abuse victims, I have learned that very, very few pastors and professing Christians really want to learn about the subject. When I began, I stated my purpose as that of educating local churches about how domestic abusers are hiding in their congregations. That is not my fundamental purpose any longer.
Because almost none of them want to hear the truth about this subject. Victims, on the other hand, are EAGER to learn and quite often contact me, thanking us for our books and blogs and encouraging me by telling me how their eyes have been opened to the lies and fog put upon them by evildoers – and by their churches. So my focus changed some time ago. I focus on helping the victims.
Now, in a previous Monday’s article I talked about the fact that a real Christian cannot be indefinitely deceived by evil. And furthermore, that when we see professing Christians choosing the deception, plugging their ears to the truth, we can be pretty sure that we are dealing with counterfeit saints.
Notice the scripture above from Mark 4. Jesus had just told the parable of the soils. Most of the crowd did not get it. Why? Jesus explains the reason. He has not granted them the ability to see and understand. And they don’t want to see and understand. The disciples however had been given “the secret of the kingdom” so that Jesus told them the meaning of the parable – the secret of the kingdom.
Now here is the point for our purposes here. Every true Christian is indwelt by the Spirit of Christ and has been given eyes to see and ears to hear Christ’s Word. That truth necessarily exposes lies of the evil one. And thus, at some point, the unholy charade of the domestic abuser is going to be visible to them.

1Co 2:12-14 Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God. (13) And we impart this in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the Spirit, interpreting spiritual truths to those who are spiritual. (14) The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned.

I say again, most of the oppression put upon abuse victims by local churches, pastors, members, and counselors, has its origin in unsaved people and false churches.

Col 2:8 See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.


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  1. anon

    I think it takes a long time, though, to come out of the fog.
    I see several reasons for this — trauma and physical injuries inflicted by the batterer and many victims of DV have sustained head injuries and brain damage.
    I also think there is so much false teaching that is first waded through, as many of us most likely have read multiple books, sought out multiple Christian authors, teachers, etc. in hoping to be a godly wife and somehow stop the pain, the abuse, and more.
    Also, many women and girls are not raised to protect themselves or value themselves and indoctrinated and heavily socialized to be self-sacrificing, ever serving of others, helpers to the end, considering others always to be more important and valuable than oneself. And don’t get me started on the false belief that abused wives are potentially the means to ‘save’ their abusers, as many feel their abusers’ souls are in their hands, with the enormous responsibility being on their shoulders, demanding them to ‘take it’, endure all, suffer their ‘cross’….
    Then there’s the overwhelming pain. Denial is survival. People don’t want to acknowledge evil. It’s very, very painful. Seeing how one was duped, or tricked, or deceived is painful enough, but abused women suffer on an even greater scale. The pain of abuse can be so severe that denial becomes necessary, as with numbness. Numb and dumb (and dumb because of their numbness, not to be taken as an insult).
    I feel as though I understand less of the Bible now, but perhaps it is because I didn’t realize how little I understood it in the first place.
    My biggest concern in life is clinging to the faith, making sure I am not some self-deluding, self-deceiving, fake Christian, and truly a child of God, called to forever be with Him when I leave this life/world, and truly indwelt by the Holy Spirit.

  2. Jane Smith

    Thank you Pastor Crippen once again the truth you present has set me free. Having your affirmation that the abusers and his allies who self identity as super Christians are in fact not true Christians. Of course not—-how could they be??? How could they have been so hateful to me while supporting the evil, conniving, liar, abusive phony?
    Where was the support? Not even one inquiry on my behalf? Not even one question? Not even one statement of support while they watched my suffering? While they delighted in listening and agreeing with the smear campaign. They enjoyed watching the suffering of an innocent victim? Why because they are all abusive bullies, blinded from the truth by their own lack of faith in the one true God.
    Who cares if they professed Christianity taught bible studies and pretended to saints. Murderers behind bars lie and pretend to be changed people when they want something. Wicked ones disguised as sheep don’t deserve our time, thoughts or concern. Soon they will reap what they have sown in this life, then they will join their true father— The father of lies.

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