Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

**Angry Tears – Don't be Duped+5

Mal 2:13 And this second thing you do. You cover the LORD’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand.

Isa 1:15 When you spread out your hands, I will hide my eyes from you; even though you make many prayers, I will not listen; your hands are full of blood.

Check out this great description of “crocodile tears” that I found at Wikipedia:

Crocodile tears is a false, insincere display of emotion such as a hypocrite crying fake tears of grief. The phrase derives from an ancient belief that crocodiles shed tears while consuming their prey, and as such is present in many modern languages, especially in Europe where it was introduced through Latin.

You find examples throughout Scripture of unrepentant people crying and wailing to the Lord because He won’t bless them, hear their prayers, or accept their sacrifices. Needless to say, He is not taken in by this pathetic tactic. But deceitful people keep trying anyway, with all too much success.

Recently a lady who had been targeted by an abuser (she was wise enough to spot it and tell him to hit the road) told me that he could turn on the waterworks at will. And then she shared this really wise insight with me:

He reminded me of a little kid weeping and wailing and throwing a tantrum because he didn’t get what he wanted.

In other words, she was describing what we can call “angry tears.” These fountains of evil are actually offensive outbursts of anger – curses emanating from the tear ducts if you will. But they are cunningly disguised as an expression of “hurt,” calling for our empathy and pity. “Oh Joe, I am so sorry. I didn’t know that telling you your angry rages frighten me would hurt you so badly.”
Tears really can be turned on and off at will by these deceivers, so don’t be taken in. Realize that in fact what you are watching is a childish tantrum designed to punish you. When it comes to repentance, tears without real change of attitude and behavior are only another form of the abuse continuing. Tears of repentance do not originate in anger.
And a word to pastors and church members. I cannot tell you how many times I have had to confront a wicked person only to have them run to others in the church and turn on the tears. “Oh how mean he was to me!” Yada, yada, yada. But the frustrating thing is that it works so often! People melt. “God forgives you, we must too. You aren’t perfect. We are all sinners.”
Somehow behind those tears there is a devilish grin. Got ’em again! he says, as the crocodile takes another bite.


More Weapons in the Enemy's Arsenal – Sermon by Ps. Crippen


**Abusers Fail the Test of Love – A Very Clarifying Fact+6


  1. Anne

    The ex is an abuser. He would purposely flaunt kindness to other woman in front of me. One of these woman was cruel to me, mocked me and he did not stand-up for me, he was all the more courteous to her saying he “didn’t want to make her feel bad, by ignoring her.” I was beyond hurt and said, “If you want to treat other women better than me, then WHY did you marry me?! He sat with a quivering lip, tears steaming, and said, “I thought I needed I you.” I was beside myself.
    In the end it was still about him and how bad he felt for himself that he married someone he *didn’t* love. He continues to be cruel post-divorce via his equally abusive lawyer.

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