Psalms 7:14 Behold, the wicked man conceives evil and is pregnant with mischief and gives birth to lies.
I listened to a very helpful podcast this week by Dr. Les Carter. He discussed narcissism as an addiction, comparing the narcissist to an addict. One point in particular which he made was this: the addict grows in his/her toleration of their drug. They have to have more and more and more of it to meet their craving.
And so it is with the RASN (reviler, abuser, sociopath, narcissist). They are addicted to the drug of ego food. Their ego, their self-entitlement, their superior mindset, demands increasing doses as time passes. In other words, the RASN grows more and more evil. And just as an addict rages when his drug is not available, so it is with the RASN.
I have seen this in action, and I suspect most of you have as well. Initially in a relationship with a RASN, the demand for praise and elevation is perhaps not that noticeable. It is more easily met. We administer it and don’t think that much about doing so. But as the years go by, things keep changing. The RASN’s addiction to ego food grows and grows in intensity. If he does not receive his injection, he rages and hates and strikes out.
This is why RASNs increase in, for example, the wicked fruit of jealousy. They hate the success of others. They crave it for themselves. And so they begin working to erode and corrode success in those around them. Healthy people are glad when others succeed. In a church, for instance, when one member of the body is blessed, the rest of the members rejoice because, after all, we are all one in Christ.
Not so, the RASN. Not only is he not glad that the Lord is blessing someone else, he hates it. And really, if you think this through, his hatred is ultimately directed toward the Lord. “I deserve! Give me! That person think they are soooo great! But I am the great one and I demand to be recognized!”
This is why we are often left wondering, after a RASN has all-out attacked and rejected us, if they were always “that way.” Well, in a sense they were. The root of this evil was always there. But it grew. Just like a drug addict, their tolerance to ego food increased so that they demanded more and more and more of it. This is the spirit in them:
2 Thessalonians 2:3-4 Let no one deceive you in any way. For that day will not come, unless the rebellion comes first, and the man of lawlessness is revealed, the son of destruction, (4) who opposes and exalts himself against every so-called god or object of worship, so that he takes his seat in the temple of God, proclaiming himself to be God.
Sarah
That makes sense and is very helpful knowledge…
RASN Survivor
This is incredible – and agree, 100% accurate!!! Thank you for sharing this. When with the RASN, their cruelty and violence to me was getting worse, the cycles were getting shorter and more hidden, calculated and severe – it was like living in a house of make believe “Christian” marriage which was instead an underlying ping-ponging house of horror….
And that matches ALL that you and Dr. Carter noted. In fact the RASN became many times more so secretive, calculating and physically abusive and violent to me once I stopped responding to their evil schemes…..which meant the RASN didn’t have a daily live in source / “fix” when I stopped responding to their evil …. And all the while their fix need was getting more severe in order for the RASN to get their higher-high.
I have noticed RASNs, that one included, become a worse version of themselves as time passes and they age – it’s as if each birthday is a mark of their next worst version ahead. The difference is they are more experienced and know how to hide their “sources” of their focus and use of their evil tactics to get their fix.
It is only by the Lord’s intervention that I made it out alive….. and have learned SO much since. This post-RASN(s) time has been such a gift….
Jeff Crippen
Thank you! Understanding this clears up much of the confusion and fog these evil ones create. If we don’t realize that they grow worse and worse, it is much easier for them to blame us for the abuse as it increases and as the “friendship” appears to fall apart. There never was a friendship. They never did love us. There never was a real marriage. And as their craving and need for their drug grows, eventually any facade of relationship implodes.