Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Faith Must Have Priority Over Intellect: “The Intellectual Evil Man”

1Co 1:18-21 For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. (19) For it is written, “I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and the discernment of the discerning I will thwart.” (20) Where is the one who is wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? (21) For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe.

I imagine that most of you have met him (or her). The “Christian” who is, as Paul puts it, wise according to the wisdom of the world. Who approaches Christ with his head, measuring the gospel and God’s Word with the filter of his intellect. To such, as Paul says, the gospel word of the cross is foolishness.

We cannot come to know the Lord through our own wisdom. The foolishness of the Cross will remain foolish until we humble ourselves and come to Christ by faith.

This does not mean that the gospel is contrary to the reason which God has given us. Christianity is not a religion which demands we put our brains out to pasture. Consider for instance how Jesus so wonderfully opened up the Scriptures to us – but to those who refuse to come to Him in faith, He will only speak to them in dark sayings, in parables so that they cannot understand. Faith must precede reason. Reason must be governed by faith.

People who get this backwards (because in their pride they boast of their intellect) operate with the notion that faith must be governed by their reason. I knew a scientist once who, when I observed that God created light before He created the sun and stars, scoffed. The man claimed to be a Christian, but he rejected the very opening words of the Bible.

Why do I write about these things here? Because the “Christian” who walks according to the wisdom of this world will inevitably be a counterfeit – and an arrogant one at that. All kinds of other evils flow from such a person. And in the end, as the Lord says, the wise according to this world will be shown to be fools.

The man who is a “wise-according-to-this-world Christian” is mean. He holds Christ’s people in contempt. He only comes into the fellowship of Christ’s flock to exalt himself, boasting of his wisdom. But that wisdom is absolutely incompatible with God’s wisdom in Christ. Actually, though these counterfeits may speak of the cross, in truth it is foolishness to them.

Paul mentions one class of these kind – the debater of this age. Here is the one who Paul instructs us to reject:

Rom 16:17-18 I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. (18) For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive.

You may have seen these kind in action. Exalting themselves via their intellect, they create divisions and obstacles which hinder people from coming to Christ. Many of the domestic abusers who hide in the pews are of this very ilk. They have an incredible mindset of superiority and entitlement, demanding that people bend to their views…or else. But the Lord sees, and the Lord knows. These creeps who creep in among us are perishing. For all their boasting and religion, they are on the Broadway to hell.

1Co 1:18 For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.


Why do they bother with Religion?


Tender-hearted, Forgiving, Believing the Best


  1. Steph

    Oh my, I have seen this sheer meanness! You asked for an update and I go to court tomorrow against this meanness! I live in a home where we wrote God’s words into the very walls as our home was being built. It gives my heart peace to have my adult children here with me. This man who has never been in a church where he didn’t stir up controversy, is taking me to trial tomorrow to try to force a court order to make me sell this home. I have tried to negotiate settlement, but he will not have it and claims to the court that I “am holding him hostage in this divorce”. (I am the respondent in all proceedings, by the way and have never once been the petitioner)
    I am writing to ask for prayer for tomorrow that we will prevail, but also that I would not be afraid. That I would fear God and not fear man. And that God will not allow this godless, fake christian man to continue to represent himself to everyone as a standup fine human being. I will update afterwards. Thank you.

    • Oh Sister……I’m not divorcing yet but i do know exactly what you mean “man who has never been in a church where he didn’t stir up controversy”
      in my case it goes back to the FIL so it’s generational
      My heart goes out to you. I think i understand.

    • saying a prayer….

  2. sue

    Oh, the judgies will go on about marriage being a covenant. What these holier-than-thous refuse to understand is: there are wickeds in this world, who won’t allow you to hold your end of … well, any sort of agreement, let alone marriage.

  3. Steph

    I agree. They overlook, or refuse to see that the abuser is using the court system to further abuse.
    So my update on trial: The wicked judge said on trial day he had no time to hear the case! So we got a settlement conference before another judge. I was excited at first, because my lawyer said she would explain that if he won his case to sell the homes she would appeal, tying it up for two years.
    Instead, both the judge and my lawyer pushed everyone to agree to new appraisals (appraisals were done once, I wanted to settle on those-housing has gone up while my husband has damaged the house he is in, lowering the value, while my house has raised). They then said that I would buy him out and if I could not, I would have to sell. So somehow, my husband got what he wanted without trial.
    My prayer now is that my house would appraise low enough, while the one he is in is higher than we expect, so that I will not owe anything or much. I have a seasonal job right now making an hourly wage. He makes a three figure income. I don’t understand how he comes out on top every single time. I am so numb right now. I’m concerned for my children who still live with me and the one who I am helping pay to go to school. Thank you for your prayers!


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