Lynn, one of our blog community friends, sent me these commandments which characterize a narcissist/abuser mother or father. Lynn grew up in just such a home, under all this oppression, and has been set free from it. So many, many thanks to her. These are great!
A Narcissistic Mother’s 10 commandments
A parody of Deuteronomy 20:1-17
I am your mother who brought you into this world & I can take you out of it.
- You must have no other relationships or activities that are more important than me.
- You must not love or pay attention to anything or anyone more than you do me. You must unconditionally love, forgive, and blindly obey me only for I am a jealous, wrathful taskmaster if you stray from keeping my commands.
- You shall never speak ill of me, even if it is the truth, to anyone. For I will hold you guilty if you do.
- Every day you must remember me and treat me as holy.
- You must unconditionally honor me and blindly obey me in order to minimize my wrath and prolong my days.
- You must not ever express any negative emotions in my presence and/or at me regardless of my words, behaviors, and actions I choose to do.
- You must never break free from your relationship with me, no matter what I do to you.
- You must never take anything away from me that I believe belongs to me.
- You must not provide any testimony that makes me look bad in my own eyes and the eyes of others.
- You must not desire your own life and freedom apart from me.
A Narcissistic Father’s 10 commandments
A parody of Deuteronomy 20:1-17
I am your father who gave you life & I can take it away.
- You must have no other relationships or activities that are more important than me.
- You must not love or pay attention to anything or anyone more than you do me. You must unconditionally love, forgive, and blindly obey me only for I am a jealous, wrathful taskmaster if you stray from keeping my commands.
- You shall never speak ill of me, even if it is the truth, to anyone. For I will hold you guilty if you do.
- Every day you must remember me and treat me as holy.
- You must unconditionally honor me and blindly obey me in order to minimize my wrath and prolong my days.
- You must not ever express any negative emotions in my presence and/or at me regardless of my words, behaviors, and actions I choose to do.
- You must never break free from your relationship with me, no matter what I do to you.
- You must never take anything away from me that I believe belongs to me.
- You must not provide any testimony that makes me look bad in my own eyes and the eyes of others.
- You must not desire your own life and freedom apart from me.
anonymous
So true, and very well written. I was married to a narcissist, and this is exactly what the kids lived with. When we did break free, he cut off the adult kids unless they followed the rules above. One kid who followed the rules even testified against the others who didn’t in the open child support case for those still under 18. Sadly, the one who testified and said he never saw abuse was the one who was abused the worst of all.
wingingit
Complete truth.
They have no qualms about trashing their own kids if they disobey these “rules” either.
Free
Sadly agree with the above, it’s well captured. If you break any of the commandments, you are the black sheep, the “problem” that somehow caused their willful narcissistic choice! Amazing…. and the same deflection tactics satan and his human allies have used for since the beginning of man.