Many thanks to one of our readers for writing the following to us:
It’s not called gossip once a wife’s murder is reported after many years of hidden domestic abuse, but it’s called gossip if she talks about it before her murder. It’s not called gossip when it is reported that a company/man goes into bankruptcy, but it’s called gossip if his wife talks to people about her husband’s laziness and refusal to work (financial abandonment) prior to the bankruptcy.
Here is a lady who knows from hard experience. Abusers and their allies love to accuse truth-tellers of being “gossips” when the victims expose the evil that is being done to them. Don’t wear that accusation. It is false. Telling truth is not gossip or slander. Shining light on evil is not sin. Notice her keen insight into the irony of it. Report a murder AFTER the murder, and it’s not gossip. Report the abuse BEFORE the victim is murdered, and suddenly here comes the accusation of gossip. The same stands for financial abuse or any other form of abuse. I guess it takes a dead body laying in a pool of blood in the living room before people will finally say, “he abused her.” Well, maybe the dead body is enough. Some will still say “she drove him too it.” I have had this gossip nonsense thrown at me more than once by the wicked. What was fascinating is that birds of a feather, you know, flock together. When you expose one abuser, the others who may be around rush to the guy’s defense. “Don’t say such a thing about that man! I don’t want to hear it!” Well, why not? I can tell you why. Because if one abuser is exposed, when abuse is brought to light, it threatens any other such wicked people in the vicinity.
Sometimes this gossip card comes at you in a bit different forms. “Well, you know, we are all sinners.” “We just need to love people anyway.” “Jesus loves them too.” Most all of you have heard that nonsense. It’s all quite wicked and cowardly because it enables and protects the wicked. It really is an accusation against the person exposing the evil.
Excuse me, what did you say? Gossip? Is it gossip to say that the devil is wicked? Are we not to ever say anything bad about the devil? Jesus must have been guilty of gossip then?
I have observed firsthand over many years experience as a pastor all of these tactics exercised by the wicked. I used to be duped by them. Not any more. More than once I have had “fine ‘C’hristian church members,” pillars of the local church you know, accuse me of gossiping about them when in fact all that was happening is that they had realized that their wicked facade was no longer working. Abusers, you see, love secrecy, darkness, and silence. It suits their purposes and furthers their deception. By their “reasoning,” the Apostle Paul was a gossip. And actually, so is the true Church, and so is God!
Alexander the coppersmith did me great harm; the Lord will repay him according to his deeds. Beware of him yourself, for he strongly opposed our message. (2Ti 4:14-15) But if all prophesy, and an unbeliever or outsider enters, he is convicted by all, he is called to account by all, the secrets of his heart are disclosed, and so, falling on his face, he will worship God and declare that God is really among you. (1Co 14:24-25) Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God. (1Co 4:5)
As the lady who provided us with this topic noted, the Apostle Paul even mentioned the sin of gossip/slander and then turned right around and named names of people wicked people!
But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous [“malicious gossips” in other translations], without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth. Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so these men also oppose the truth, men corrupted in mind and disqualified regarding the faith. (2Ti 3:1-8)
Also, our friend also noted,
Paul in 2 Timothy 4 says about himself, “I have kept the faith,” and then further on he tells about all the people in his life who have disappointed him and done him harm (Demas, Crescens, Titus, Alexander). Yet, Paul is never rebuked for gossip.
Here is wisdom. Don’t be deceived by the gossip card.