Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

The Beauty of Vindication – A Table in the Presence of my Enemies

Psa 23:1-6 A Psalm of David. The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. (2) He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. (3) He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. (4) Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. (5) You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. (6) Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

In this present evil world, the Christian is going to be accused, slandered, persecuted, and hated. Is that not what Jesus experienced? Well, the servant is not greater than his master. If the world hated Christ, it will hate us as well.
We know that the wicked accuse the righteous. They even use the fact that we are persecuted as “evidence” that God is not blessing us.

Mat 27:43 He trusts in God; let God deliver him now, if he desires him. For he said, ‘I am the Son of God.'”

Notice then very carefully what David tells us in the 23rd Psalm:

Psa 23:5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Christ vindicates His people. We experience some of that vindication now on occasion, but the Day is coming when we are going to be “guests of honor” at Christ’s banquet. He will own us, He will invite us. The King will say to each of us “come to My banquet which I am preparing in your honor.”  And get this:

The King is going to do this right in front of our enemies

They will be “outside” looking in. They will not be invited, but they can see it all. So let’s put this right down where we can get a firm hold on it:

One day your abuser and all of his wicked allies are going to watch you be honored by Christ the King at a banquet like no banquet this world has ever seen. You will receive absolute vindication right in front of them. All of their evil, false accusations made against you will be revealed to be lies. And then the King will order these enemies to depart into outer darkness, never to return.

That is what the Scripture means when it tells us that Christ prepares a table before us in the presence of our enemies. And it is going to taste really, really good.


Accusing the Victim – A Favorite Tactic of the Wicked


Abused in Your Sleep – Another Control Tactic of the Wicked


  1. No Name

    I don’t see much vindication in this life, but perhaps it is because it indeed is a Judgment Day kind of thing, Being so shredded and beaten down, I’d be content with just knowing and seeing God throw the abusers and other wicked into hell. But God knows best and I guess there’ll be a banquet and I’ll like it.

    • No Name

      I was thinking about this again and assuming it’s not metaphorical, of course the banquet will be good, as Jesus is hosting it!
      And He’ll probably strike the wicked mute so they cannot shout insults, jeer, and so forth. Kind of like how when Jesus comes back on Judgment Day every knee will bow… whether the wicked like it or not, they’ll be bowing.
      Vicious evildoers, abusers have so much power in this life, and the venom they inject into their victims, with the abuse they hurl at their targets, is murderous and ruinous. Thankfully, they won’t be polluting heaven.

  2. Debby

    I have always been curious. My abuser (s) were abused. Do they go to their own banquet, then sit outside of mine? Is it about repentance? I know this is nitty gritty in response to a (possible) metaphor. Just wondering what my favorite pastor says.

    • Jeff Crippen

      Abusers will have no banquet. None can blame being abused as an excuse to abuse. Many people have gone thru abuse but do not treat others wickedly. Good question tho. Thx!

    • cindy burrell

      Hello, Debby. I believe it was Dr. Jim Dobson who wrote, “The same hot water that softens the carrot hardens the egg.” We have all been deeply wounded at some point – some more than others, for sure – but I believe each of us chooses what we will do with our pain, whether we will allow it to make us tender-hearted toward others who may be similarly hurting or whether we will instead become hardened and bitter and self-serving. We all know how scary it is to risk being vulnerable after being deeply hurt by those who should have been our protectors, but we also know that the rewards are worth the risk, as there is no heavy burden of anger and resentment to carry!

  3. healinginhim

    Wonderful encouragement, Pastor Crippen. I still grieve and pray for those I nurtured. That they would repent and desire to be at the banquet table. Others who believe me are shocked that they would turn against me and join other abusers against me. 🙁

  4. Z

    Thank you Pastor. This promise of God is the only thing that brings me consolation after the long term multiple abuses I’ve suffered. I have little to no experience nor hope of justice being done in this life.
    Just as it is God’s desire that none perish and none have to watch us have a banquet prepared by the Lord in their presence, to which they are not invited, and then be thrown out into eternal separation from God, I too wish the wicked who so harmed me and their allies in evil would repent.
    But as you’ve stated so many times, they want to be gods themselves and are very unlikely to ever humble themselves to repent to the true God. And you say that you know of none who have repented. And that unlikelihood is backed up even by secular experts.
    But I won’t spend any of my time or energy anymore grieving their reprobate souls’ state. That is the mistake that got me more and more abused. Trying to “bear up” under their evil and show them the heart of Jesus in me.
    Scripture warns us not to allow evil to proliferate this way or to let the wicked “strike your cheek”. My trying in vain to make a difference and lead them to Christ by my “Godly example” made me more of a target of their evil. Darkness HATES the Light in us. That equals MORE abuses.
    I thank God now for the vindication and the banquet He will gift to me in the presence of my enemies. I don’t give a thought anymore to my abusers’ eternal life. They choose to face God’s Wrath.

    • Z:
      I have read many of your comments on this website and on Light for Dark Times. Reading the words from your experience underscores the prevalence of evil in this present age and world in which we inhabit.
      I do believe that God desires the salvation of humankind as a whole (1 Tim. 2.4) and would prefer that all changed their minds and turned from wickedness (2 Pet. 3.9). It is my view that the desire of many abuse victims reflects the character of God in preferring the salvation of sinful humankind than their damnation. Nevertheless, I believe that some persons are so wicked and vile that, if it were possible, they would curse God to his face and recrucify the Holy One of God, the Lord Jesus Christ. No unclean thing shall dwell in the habitation of the Most High.
      Abusers are God-haters, and the satanic hatred they have displayed towards you is as if they had done it to the Lord Jesus himself. His wrath must be poured out upon these workers of iniquity. I personally have begun to come to peace with the terrible judgement of God that will surely take place upon these vile creatures, with sentimental lapses becoming more infrequent. There is a sense in which it is hidden from me how real that day of judgement will be. I can only hope that I shall be found with the sheep on the right side of the King at his return.
      Thank you once again, Z, for your many lovely comments and thoughts; they are much appreciated.

      • Z

        Thank you, J.D., for those encouraging comments. I too am now at peace with the fact that “It is a truly a frightening thing to be on the wrong side of the Living God”. (Heb. 10:31)
        I pray only imprecatory prayers now for my abusers. They are, as you said, satanic, vile, demonic and hate God. They want to be worshipped as Gods. While I resisted them as best I could all my life, knew they were certainly hypocrites and false Christians, I tried (wrongly) to tolerate their evil for the sake of peace and to display the heart of Jesus to them. It was never going to work with this type of evil. Made me hated even more to the point of extreme violence. But I see that momentary violent attack as a gift from God! He allowed the scales to fall from my eyes and to see them as the demons they are. Their faces and voices and behavior the night of the attack-the last time I ever saw them and ever will-were purely satanic. So God made a way of escape when I couldn’t find the way to cut ties with evil “family” because of false teachings about forgiveness, honoring parents,…God parented the “Red Sea” to release me from that bondage. And I’m ever so thankful to Him.
        Now it’s been several years of No Contact with the abusers as well as all their lifelong allies and enablers. Best decision ever!
        I look forward to that day when the Lord prepares a feast form me while they watch my vindication from my Lord. And they are sent to their chosen eternal damnation.
        Thank you again for your compassionate comments. They are very appreciated.

  5. walkinginlight

    This scripture has always brought much comfort to me through the years. While I have never wished ill on my enemies I trust God’s righteous judgement to punish them how He sees fit.
    This has given me much peace and not to become bitter. While I have seen the Lord punish four people who were viciously mean to me, I still have not witnessed the Lord deal with the anti-husband yet. I must continue to trust and know His thoughts are not my thoughts. Here is another scripture I have always loved.
    Behold, I will cause those of the synagogue of Satan, who say that they are Jews and are not, but lie-I will make them come and bow down at your feet, and make them know that I have loved you.
    Rev. 3:9

    • Jeff Crippen

      Good words

    • Stormy

      Walking in the light—Oh my gosh I love that verse about them bowing at our feet. I’m memorizing that one. I’ve also seen God really punish those who’ve done less harm to me but I have not seen my abuser reap what he has sown??

  6. walkinginlight

    Though I saw with my own eyes God punish four who very viciously vile and mean to me (this was only because I am a Christian) and the worst offender who God sent clear across the country passed away. I do not know why the Lord holds back His righteous judgement and anger for the anti-husbands. I do know that when we are with Him all will be become crystal clear. In the meantime we can live knowing that we are precious jewels in His eyes and under his constant watch and care. I always say to myself, vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord. Also, I would like to share that when I saw God punish my enemies, I was very careful to not be happy about it which greatly displeases the Lord. I was careful to guard my heart and looked at the punishments in awe for I knew they came directly from God.

  7. Anonymous

    I was waiting for this. This is such a good reply. I grow in wisdom more and more in reading this stuff of yours, Pastor Crippen. 🙂
    Proverbs 27:17
    “As iron sharpens iron,
    so one person sharpens another.”

  8. Stormy

    Thank you walking in the light. I also was both fearful and grateful when I saw the hand of god move against an evil doer. Fearful in that God is sovereign and great beyond measure —but also grateful that in light of the injustice in this world, God himself allowed me to witness his hand of justice at work. I believe he allowed me to see his word come to pass. This encouraged my faith and helped me to trust God for the rest. I’ve seen Gods protection in different forms in my life. Overall I can say in many cases rejection has been Gods protection.

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