Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

A Warning to Those who Harbor the Wicked

Jeremiah 7:5-8 ESV  “For if you truly amend your ways and your deeds, if you truly execute justice one with another,  (6)  if you do not oppress the sojourner, the fatherless, or the widow, or shed innocent blood in this place, and if you do not go after other gods to your own harm,  (7)  then I will let you dwell in this place, in the land that I gave of old to your fathers forever.  (8)  “Behold, you trust in deceptive words to no avail.

Listen to Matthew Henry’s comment on these verses. The underlining is mine:

Those that had power in their hands must thoroughly execute judgment between a man and his neighbor, without partiality, and according as the merits of the case appeared. They must not either in judgment or in contract oppress the stranger, the fatherless, or the widow, nor countenance or protect those that did oppress, nor refuse to do them justice when they sought for it. [Matthew Henry, Commentary on Jeremiah]

We all know that abusers and other evildoers work very hard to gather allies for themselves. And frankly, in local churches, they don’t have to work all that hard to accomplish this. We have firsthand testimony time after time after time of how a pastor, other church leaders, or church members did exactly what the Lord is commanding Jeremiah’s countrymen to repent of. They do countenance (approve) of these wicked people and protect them from judgment.

It is not enough to not oppress the innocent. We must also stand with them against those who oppress them. We must work to see that justice is done. And if we don’t, the same fate that the unrepentant people in Jeremiah’s day met will be waiting for us. God cast them out of the land. He turned them over to the enemy. And all of that is a picture and warning of what is going to happen when Christ comes to judge the earth in righteousness.
Every local church, every professing Christian, every author of “marriage and family” books who is giving safe harbor to abusers, to hypocrites, or to anyone who oppresses the downtrodden and innocent, had better seriously heed these warnings now. Do not fancy yourself having some “get out of hell free” card simply because your false teachers are teaching you to repeat after them, “the temple of the Lord, the temple of the Lord, the temple of the Lord.”

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7 Comments

  1. Rae

    Oh how I witness..The abuser has allies siding and sitting with them. The abuser will befriend a leader in the church. The leader may well be an abuser as well. Sickening! Once you rebuke evil. Evil will hate you. The church is full of hypocrites who want power and recognition.
    Rae Radika ________________________________

  2. Anonymous

    My comfort lies in Jehovah El Roi, our God who sees. An abuser twists the truth to manipulate and confuse. There are many times I have begged God for truth to be revealed. Even though others choose to remain in darkness to the evil of the abuser, I know God sees. He sees those moments when the victim feels abandoned by those who claim to love God. At times, it’s easy to feel abandoned by God Himself, but I have to remind myself that He Sees, and in the end He will judge, either through repentance and the saving blood of Jesus or eternal condemnation. In eternity, God has promised that there will be no sorrow and that He will wipe away my tears. This is what I cling to.

  3. Innoscent

    Thank you Jeff for this strong statement from the Word of God!
    There’s someone (a Christian) who’s wanting to reconnect with me. We got acquainted online when I was still married to the narcissistic devil and she learned what happened re. the emotional abuse, separation and divorce. She’d like us to chat via some app (we’ve only communicated by writing).
    Before taking it further, I asked her if the ex-h was still in touch with her in some way. Just got her reply that yes, more or less on social media, he’s still in her friend’s list but she doesn’t really go on there, bla bla blah.
    And she asks me why I asked…
    I find it annoying that people know the situation, the hell it was, and yet still can’t support the victim and cut ties with the perpetrator.
    How would you handle this situation?

    • Jeff Crippen

      I would go no contact with her. She can’t be trusted.

      • Innoscent

        Thank you Jeff, that confirms my gut feelings. She doesn’t understand the dynamics of abuse, the abuser’s mindset and I certainly don’t want to have to have to ‘educate’ her on these issues. Only to be misunderstood further down the line and the abuse played down, and more treason. No, thanks!

  4. IamMyBeloved’s

    Excellent!

    • Free

      This has been the hardest part of the abuse, all those that harbored the abuser when he was a exposed, and even now. Thank you for this blog, it really helped to read through it and the comments – all are so very relatable.

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