I wrote a post (here) on this subject recently and we had quite a few really good helpful comments. I wanted to share this one in its own post because it really says even more clearly what I was trying to say. Thank you Kelly!
This is such a great example of how abusers try to deceive by saying things (or more rarely, doing things) that may appear to be “good” at first glance. It *might* demonstrate his commitment and steadfast devotion to his wife/kids to a casual observer. But his motive is entirely self serving and entitled, just like you’ve said.
Observers can be fooled by “noble” sounding talk like that, but the target usually isn’t. She has learned to decode those words that are meant to publicly impress and she understands the implicit threat in them.
I will never forget the day of my last court hearing in (…) regarding parenting time/parental rights of my kids, etc. when x stated dramatically and with feigned passion, “I’m gonna fight for my kids!” (the kids who remain terrified and disgusted by him and have requested never to see him again because of his extreme abuse of them)
It was hard for me not to stand up and object out loud. After more than two decades with him, I knew what he really meant. It wasn’t noble, it was meant to bolster his image and at the same time intimidate me.
Like you’ve so insightfully said, they feel entitled to their property. People will never amount to more than property when it comes to evil.
Thank you for continually revealing the real wickedness of abusers. It is so validating to be reminded that their behaviors are so similar because they serve the same evil.