Unmasking the Domestic Abuser in the Church

Book Recommendation: Dare to Fly by Senator Martha McSally

One of our longtime blog followers (and my friend) sent me the following book recommendation. The author is now a U.S. Senator (Arizona) who is a retired Air Force officer, having served as a fighter pilot in many combat arenas. Martha McSally is also an abuse survivor and her life story will be a real encouragement to all.  You can find Dare to Fly on Amazon here*.
Here is the synopsis my friend sent me:
This week I received a copy of Senator Martha McSally’s new book, Dare To Fly: Simple Lessons in Never Giving Up. She was appointed to the US Senate from AZ, and is currently running for a full term. She is also a retired USAF Colonel., who led troops in Afghanistan! The first female fighter pilot to fly in combat and to command a fighter squadron in combat. I find her to be an inspiration. But even more, what she overcame!
So far I have only read chapter 10: “Thrive Through the Darkness”.
She tells of being sexually assaulted, abused and raped, first by her high school coach, and then in the USAF. She tells how the military structure, even in the Academy, allowed this to happen to women, and the measures she took to fight for reform, and how she personally “thrived” through this darkness. She is a believer. I will quote a paragraph here:
“It is important not to conflate forgiveness with reconciliation, because they are very different. Forgiveness is letting go of the offense and not letting it have any power over you anymore. Reconciliation is a restoration of the relationship. We are called to forgive, and we are freed when we forgive, but we are not necessarily called to reconcile with the other person.”
And more:
…”With the grace of God leading me, I was able to come to a true place of forgiveness, freed from the rage and sense of betrayal—feelings that were punishing me, not the man who assaulted me.”
My friend continues:
There is probably more inspiration to encourage women to fight through the challenges of life (and abuse) in this book. The military good ol’ boy structure reminds me of some churches.
*Unholy Charade is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for website owners to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking Amazon.com and affiliated sites.  See additional information here.

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5 Comments

  1. choclea43

    True slavery is everywhere…& the saves r women!Got Kelly’s book…will read it on my trek to Su’s & back…Prayers for Mack for sure.

  2. Brother Maynard

    “It is important not to conflate forgiveness with reconciliation, because they are very different. Forgiveness is letting go of the offense and not letting it have any power over you anymore. Reconciliation is a restoration of the relationship. We are called to forgive, and we are freed when we forgive, but we are not necessarily called to reconcile with the other person.”
    This, but when you say this to Pastors or even well meaning friends, you tend to get the same thing. You need to be more loving and forgive them, they have changed, you are just bitter, unchristlike, etc… Its frustrating to no end when you can see it for what it is but no one else wants to

  3. frankiesmith2064

    I think I need a refresher course on forgiveness of abusers. Could you refresh my memory of what posts from the past will help me find peace about this?

    • Jeff Crippen

      You can use the search feature on the home page but also the subject is dealt with in my book Unholy Charade. Refreshers are good👍👍

    • In addition to the “search” bar as Pastor mentioned, you can scroll down to the “tag” cloud on the right side. There is a TAG for ‘ Forgiveness’. Click on it and it will show you the posts under that tag. I think there are about 16 posts related to forgiveness.

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