A New Book by our Friend Kelly Orr

You Know Me: A survivor of domestic psychological and emotional abuse shares her story of discovery, survival, and triumph 

Kelly’s new book just published yesterday and is available HERE* on Amazon. This is still another new tool, and an excellent one, to help abuse victims know they are not alone, that they are not crazy, and precisely what is really happening to them.

It is also a book that exposes the far too typical scenario of pastors and churches and fellow Christians adding to the abuse and enabling the abuser.

For those of you who are faced with the reality or possibility of losing custody of your children to an abuser, Kelly’s book will also serve as a faith booster as Kelly tells us about the severe trial she went through.

As we see more tools like this being published, it is our prayer that the power of evildoers will be increasingly broken by the Light of Christ’s truth shining upon them.

Thank you Kelly for giving us your story.

*Unholy Charade is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for website owners to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking Amazon.com and affiliated sites.  See additional information here.

6 thoughts on “A New Book by our Friend Kelly Orr

  1. Cara

    I was just thinking and wondering. Why isn’t it required reading for all women and girls? This book or another book. But something. And every girl and woman should be required to read it and then discuss it with at least one other woman or girl (who has also read a book on domestic violence/domestic abuse).

    SO MANY WOMEN have their lives ruined by abuser men! So many girls have their lives ruined, too. I’m tired of the ‘professionals’ refusing to identify that abuse and violence is almost invariably men (and boys) doing it to women (and girls). They claim anyone can be an abuser, and such is true, but just how many women and girls are being subjected to male violence, abuse, and control, the world over?

    Most women and girls are being abused by the men and boys in their lives. The stats say 1 in 4 but it’s THE most underreported crime and victims most often are convinced by the abusers that such is not abuse, that they deserve it, or that the victims are crazy and all of such is a figment of their demented imaginations.

    If women and girls were able to overcome the shame and blame in their lives and speak truth about what goes on in their lives and how the men and boys in their lives treat them, I’d expect the stat to be more along the lines of 3 out of 4, at very minimum.

    Mothers everywhere, please have your daughters well versed in the dynamics of abuse, violence, violation, and society’s INCORRECT blaming of women and girls for men’s predation. Before they start dating, for a year or two prior (if not more) ensure you are teaching them all about abuse, abusers, their tactics, what grooming looks like, do a lot of role-playing with them, have them practice dealing with manipulation, coercion, threats, and so forth. Make them read several books, at minimum, of first-hand accounts. And ensure they know, without a shadow of doubt, that they are not responsible for men’s violence, abuse, and perversions. They didn’t cause it. They didn’t make him do any of it.

    Please, mothers of the world, please have endless talks with your daughters. Hold talks with your nieces, the neighbor’s girls, etc. Make sure they know about dating violence. Make sure they can recognize and pick out red flags. Make sure they are disabused of the false confidence that somehow they’d never become a victim — as that is what I thought, too, and yet there I was a battered, nearly abused to death woman. And so ensure they understand how wonderful, excellent, and charming abusers present themselves as being. Make sure they understand how good it is in the first stage and how no battered woman suspects their man is going to ever beat them. But the men do eventually beat them. Make sure they understand that the most evil of men present themselves as such good, loving, kind, gentle men. It’s entrapment. It’s deception. It’s very, very calculated. And victims don’t know they’re prey until it’s too late and they cannot escape.

    Liked by 7 people

  2. Daughter of the King

    Cara, I agree with your comment. I raised four daughters and God used me to rescue them away from their “dad” after many fiery trials. They are all professional women, each doing well in life with much healing from our Heavenly Father. The thing is, none of them are in relationships. They really feel there are no good men out there, or not many. I even heard one of them say that they never want to marry a Christian man (because of the poor way the church elders treated us when we were getting free.) It is like this; if I meet a seemingly good man, he must be like the ones you talked about in your comment, and be too good to be true and are really an abuser. They have met many more decent men in general that didn’t claim to be Christian. Healing is a long and difficult path. We have to be careful with whom we place our trust.

    I just want to say that I know there are true followers of Christ who love Jesus and love people, and some of them are men. Thank you, Jeff, for being safe, for caring, and sticking your neck out at cost to yourself as you defend the little ones that Jesus loves.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Medy

    I am going to add this ministry to my prayers. It is astonishing how effective abusers are at deception, and it is extremely encouraging to see a pastor who recognizes what most do not seem to be able to see. I do understand the blindness; I had this same lack of understanding of what I have been living with and been held hostage to.

    I also have a tremendous amount of compassion for my husband, who I have in the past two years discovered to be a sex addict. He has an obsession with a virtual prostitute that has caused him to be increasingly paranoid, sinister, malevolent, and frighteningly out-of-control. I was introduced to my husband by my pastor, who I believe is finally starting to recognize in at least a small way what is going on here. (He had partially blamed me and even included this in a sermon where he spoke about me in extremely false terms…based upon my husband’s destructive cover-up-at-all-costs lies—My pastor did not mention our names, however he referenced the details of an hours-long texting discussion between himself and my husband the previous night, which my husband had told me about.)

    My husband has twisted our situation and lies about his obsessive addiction to some of the men at our church, one of whom now gives me scowling dark looks (I had introduced them—I had been friends with his wife first, now our husbands do business together and she shockingly no longer speaks to me due to this situation).

    The church has a problem with enabling abusers. Thank you for providing awareness and education. The church must be held accountable or it will wind up in a similar position to the Catholic Church with their enabling abusers to use the church as a shield (or weapon) as they indulge their wickedness.


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