Never Go to a Meeting When the Purpose is Unknown to You

I have learned (the hard way) that one of the ways the wicked work their evil against the righteous is by setting a trap or snare. Jesus said, “beware of men.” And so we must.

A typical way that the wicked set their traps is to ask their victim to –

  •  come to the office to talk
  • let’s just sit down and talk
  • I need to talk to you very badly
  • No, no, no. We don’t need anyone else to come. Just come yourself so we can talk

In each one of these cases if you ask the person what the subject of the meeting or “talk” is, they will refuse to provide it or will evade answering. DO NOT GO to such a meeting. Do not have a phone call with such a person. Even if, and especially if, they are quoting Bible verses to you about brothers forgiving and reconciling and loving one another – DO NOT GO. It is a trap. I don’t care if it is the pillar of the church or the pastor or the elders or, whoever, DO NOT GO.

Think about it. Why would someone not want to provide you with the subject of or reason for the meeting? Why? Because somehow they know that they really do have something to hide, that they have some kind of agenda to hit you with and they don’t want you to know about it or you won’t come! It’s a trap.

You ALWAYS have the right to know the reason for a meeting, especially when the person making the request is someone you don’t necessarily trust. Insist upon it. Stand by it. And once they pull this on you, don’t go even if they cave and tell you the reason. They have already shown their deception and that they cannot be trusted.

14 thoughts on “Never Go to a Meeting When the Purpose is Unknown to You

  1. Change Agent

    What do you suggest for those living out Ps 56? I am referring to situations where those who are supposed to uphold justice instead attack and oppress, harass and assault. Those of us who are suffering through abuse and harassment know the familiar schemes of the wicked and make attempts to work around their obstacles and hindrances. However, there are times when like Jesus (Luke 4:29) you are attacked by the mob because you have to go where they are and they push you to the edge of the cliff with the intent of killing you. Jesus walked through them and went on his way. That is my prayer for all of us.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. eagerlabassistants

      This is interesting…not that I’m not aware of the setup *meetings* but rather I have not encountered these. I rather have gotten and get silence from both the abuser and protectors of the abuser and false accusations aimed to make me appear uncongenial. Ie…(forget the prostitutes and porn and lies about it for decades..I was, while lying, really sorry about it as I am now) “if YOU wanna work things things out then…but let’s just keep not talking to each other until YOU come around”, or “gee sound awfully disrespectful (to sin)”, crap like that. Oo..and now that that didn’t work, “let’s go find a *real* secular counselor”. I did.. .a really good attorney in fact. 😉 Working on the *marriage* 😉 please pray I can make enough to take over the mortgage.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Natalie

    This happened to me! A couple from our church group set up a “meeting” for my ex and me to come over and talk.

    When we got there about 8 people from our church group were there. They were all sitting in chairs in a circle in the livingroom with only one empty chair, which my ex husband sat in. This left me to sit on the floor.

    The scripture they used was Matthew’s “If your brother offends you” verse.

    As I sat there for nearly 2 hours, they all took turns correcting me about all the things about me that offended them.

    My “sins” were many that night, from the food I ate to the color of my hair to my “outgoing” personality. My ex was sharing all his complaints and they were offering “correction”.

    It went on and on with me sitting there at their feet crying and trying to explain myself, until I finally jumped up and screamed for it to stop.

    This post is SO right.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. J. D. Gallé

      Natalie, the experience that you have described sounds much like what is sometimes termed a ‘breaking session’ in the context of cultic groups.

      A ‘breaking session’ is a psychologically abusive practice commonly employed by cultic leaders and groups in order to, as the term implies, ‘break’ the psyche of the convert (potential or actual) down, in effect moulding the individual into a pliable tool. An individual target is interrogated, berated, critcised, and called to give an account for even the most trivial aspects of his or her personal life and behaviour.

      The goal for the ‘breaking session’, of course, is to gain (and/or maintain) complete control. Over time, the individual’s identity is remoulded to conform more and more to the image and ideals of the collective, namely whatever arbitrary agenda is currently being held by the master(s)/controller(s) of the group.

      Behavioural modification is achieved by the puppeteers of cultic organisations via enslavement of the mind. If one is made to distrust one’s perceptions and conditioned to believe that s/he is unable to think for him-/herself, his/her psychological dependence on the group and its controller(s) (artificially) increases to that of a young child to his/her parents. The controller effectively becomes the abusee’s god, as both reality and morality have come to be defined, mediated, maintained, and enforced by the psychological abuser/controller and his/her entitled, false, capricious, warped construct of righteousness and truth.

      All abusers, without exception, are dreadfully unexceptional. Their unyielding desire for dominance; disdain and disregard for the truth; enslaving, conscienceless, callous, soul-murdering disposition; delight in evil; and perverse love of self betray their familial likeness to their self-deifying, malevolent, treacherous spiritual father, the Devil.

      Liked by 3 people

        1. Z

          I concur. I’d add that there is also a cult aspect to abusive families, extended families, church friends and other friends of the abusers. Especially professing “christian” clans and groups.
          With the main abusers calling the shots, the other cult members carry out their attempts to brainwash into subjugation and/or punish targets. Depending on the target’s response. You either join the cult-think or pay the price of resistance.
          They use many of the same cult mind-control tactics on targets who don’t “follow their script”-which is to support and even idolize the abusers, as most unfortunately do to avoid the cost of resistance.
          Resisters, exposers, those who go No Contact with abusers face the cult joining forces trying to “break them”.
          Abuse them mentally. Isolate them. Punish them. Smear them. Turn all others against them.

          Liked by 1 person

  3. The church I was attending at the time of my divorce process attempted such a meeting. The pastor left a message on my phone telling me that on this certain day and time he and another person would be coming to my house. He gave no reason for the meeting and didn’t tell me who would be coming with him. I called him back and left a message on his machine making it very clear that his demand was out of line and that I wouldn’t be home.

    As Pastor Crippen advises, “Do Not Go!”

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Jeff Crippen

      This advice also applies to phone call messages. “Call me. We need to talk.” Or “I have a few questions.” The majority of the time they are leaving the real topic unstated so as to set you up. I still regularly refuse to return calls like this. I tell people I want emails. Then I have what they say in writing and if it is an attack then it is documented. Plus I don’t have to listen to the devil talk.

      Liked by 3 people

  4. walkinginlight

    Do not deliver me over to the desire of my adversaries, for false witnesses have risen against me, And such as breathe out violence. I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:12-14.
    Thank you Pastor Crippen for this excellent advice to stay out of the net of the wicked. I am so sorry Natalie that your “church group” pulled off that wicked scheme against you. No true born again Christian would have ever participated in that “evil ring of oppression”. God has made note of that and they will answer for it!


    Liked by 3 people

  5. Change Agent

    When you request only email/text contact you are told that is unreasonable. Then when messages unrelated to the only reason for interaction come through you are told you are being cold for not responding. I remember I got a message about theology 4 years after divorce but never got responses about visitation and was told I should entertain the message and the lack of response was due to being preoccupied. If visitation and direct messages are not a priority then I am not sure what other subject should be pursued by divorced individuals.


  6. C

    Dear Pastor, thank you for your wisdom.
    Dear Nathalie, dear Z, and dear all with hurting hearts:
    My heart goes out to you.

    Maybe it is comforting to know that this kind of wickedness happened to Jesus himself:
    33 For John the Baptist has come eating no bread and drinking no wine, and you say, ‘He has a demon.’
    34 The Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Look at him! A glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’
    Luke 7, 33-34 (ESV)

    Or even with miracles:
    32 As they were going away, behold, a demon-oppressed man who was mute was brought to him.
    33 And when the demon had been cast out, the mute man spoke. And the crowds marveled, saying, “Never was anything like this seen in Israel.”
    34 But the Pharisees said, “He casts out demons by the prince of demons.”
    Matthew 9,32-34 (ESV)

    Here is, for when you cannot avoid a meeting:
    4 “I tell you, my friends, do not fear those who kill the body, and after that have nothing more that they can do.
    5 But I will warn you whom to fear: fear him who, after he has killed, has authority to cast into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him!

    8“And I tell you, everyone who acknowledges me before men, the Son of Man also will acknowledge before the angels of God,
    9 but the one who denies me before men will be denied before the angels of God.
    10 And everyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but the one who blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven.
    11 And when they bring you before the synagogues and the rulers and the authorities, do not be anxious about how you should defend yourself or what you should say,
    12 for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.”
    Luke 12, 4-5, 8-11 (ESV)

    As it shows, this is a dead serious matter.
    Myself, I have messed up in some such situations – Pastor – thank you for your warning and advice.

    May the Lord help each one here, and send you the comforter and spirit of wisdom.
    May it be a judgement to those, who set up such a devilish trap for the sheep.

    Christ bless you all,

    Liked by 1 person

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