Only the Lord really knows the heart; as Jesus said, evil comes from within and loves the dark. We cannot leave it up to a minister or a church leadership team to decide when a marriage ends; it is up to the individual victim, in prayer before the Lord. Only they and the Lord know what their life is really like. Only they know if their partner has expressed repentance, and only they will have to live with the consequences of the decision.
David Instone-Brewer. Divorce and Remarriage in the Church: Biblical Solutions for Pastoral Realities (p. 105). Kindle Edition.
No one is competent to interpret Jesus’ teaching in the Gospels on marriage and divorce until they have carefully read and assimilated what Instone-Brewer has discovered in his study of rabbinics. His book is very, very freeing to abuse victims and, like the quote above, serves to silence all the amateur juries in the churches that are adding to the victim’s suffering.